#i guess? i'm talking about spiders in the tags it's not actually relevant to the ask whatsoever anyway

[pfhwrittes]

For a second I thought the cow incident was over the weekend and I was about to book a flight to the UK to tuck you into blankets and make you huge piles of food and treatos.

Also thing. So I have zero and I do mean zero filter on my mouth. Mum likes to say the shit I say is why she has so many grey hairs. Now this isn't to say I'm a jerk or anything close to that. More that I'm a sassy thing and it's amazing that I still have a job. Example, yesterday at work my supervisor and an educator were showing these two students we have proper body mechanics for lifting heavy surgical trays.

Educator "just remember to bend and lift with your knees."

Me walking behind them "pop it like you want that anaconda to get some hun."

Educator and Supervisor "MA'AM" and government name while laughing.

Me walking away as I shake my ass "am I wrong?"

Anyways somehow I still have a job and I'm not entirely sure how. One supervisor wanted to get me drug tested and like 3 weeks later I accidentally gave him nightmares.

Love you hope your week going fabulous ❤️

stigy oh my god i am trying so hard not to cackle at your lack of brain-to-mouth filter right now.

i am fully high-fiving you over saying weird shit at work and somehow still keeping a job. i was well known for saying some truly off the wall shit at my last job (never mean or malicious, just stuff that made people go "parker!" in a scandalised tone while also laughing).

like that time one of my favourite co-workers came to find me in the stockroom and i said "i wish i was getting fucked as hard by dickheads in charge outside of work as i am inside of work" and i made her think she'd gone into premature labour because she was laughing so hard. i am very pleased to tell you she didn't go into labour because i would NOT have handled that well let me tell ya.

lmao i can promise i haven't been getting up to (many) antics at the moment. i've been good! just a few harmless pranks on my mum and an accidental midnight spidering.

love you too! and i hope your week goes most excellently! 💜

#pfh answers #friend tag #i am taking a break from writing my soapgaz nonsense so i've remembered to reply to you this time! #tw spiders #i guess? i'm talking about spiders in the tags it's not actually relevant to the ask whatsoever anyway #a “midnight spidering” sounds exactly like what you think it sounds like (unless you're thinking it's something freaky) #i uh may have COMPLETELY ACCIDENTALLY thrown a spider at my mum while i tried to rescue it from my room at midnight #in my defence - she startled me #and in her defence she wasn't expecting her fully grown child to be sneaking across the landing with a spider in their hands so #we both learned an important lesson that night #for me it was the fact that i will still think about climbing out my window and onto the roof when she uses my full name #for her it was the fact that i will somehow make a situation where there shouldn't be spiders more spider-y