#i just. dont know how to tactfully say ''i don't trust you and need to know whether or not I'm gonna be entrapped if i go further w/ this''

[welcometogrouchland]

I have had a million important things happen this week w/ more to come (got 5 college offers, get to be interviewed on local radio, have to meet the mayor for the third(?) time this year, get to attend a film pitch, etc) and I can't appreciate any of it because I am just so scared of an email I have to send

#ramblings of a lunatic #i just. dont know how to tactfully say ''i don't trust you and need to know whether or not I'm gonna be entrapped if i go further w/ this'' #it's a whole thing. i wanna ask my mom for help but unfortunately i can't do that bc she's a nightmare and so am I #but i also shouldn't leave it too long. so sometime this weekend feels right (even though I'm busy) #IT'S JUST HARD AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO ABOUT IT (on purpose. I'd rather die than expose my secrets) #I'M JUST. I'm just scared. i volunteered to do what i thought was a one time thing and now they're talking about doing more things #and if i wanna know What The Thing Is I have to sign stuff and I'm just. idk if any of this is normal #it probably is but I'm so freaked out by it all #okay. that's enough journalling in the Tumblr tags I'm gonna go try and listen to an audiobook #(this is also stressful bc it's for coursework and i sit there the whole time hoping Themes and Motifs i want appear so i can make an- #-essay out of it. and when they don't show up i cry about it. but i need to listen to at least a little for the next few days. its on loan)