#i yearn for that but i simply don't think i'm someone ppl fall in love with. never have been and convinced myself i never will

[bixiaoshi]

#the more i think abt relationships n having a partner the more convinced i get that i'll never get to experience that loo #lol* for multiple reasons actually #idk i feel like im just not the kind of person ppl would have a crush on you know n for a relationship u need two ppl so #n i feel like that comes directly from the fact that as a teenager no one ever had a crush on me or confessed to me #n like sure relationships aren't everything but not being the person ppl had crushes on during teenager years just. gives u a feeling i #cannot rlly explain you know. the only ppl who understand me is ppl who went through the same as me #n it's so frustrating lol bcs when i want to express how that makes me feel im always hit with 'ohh but you're so pretty' 'but you didn't #miss out much!' 'if you don't look for a relationship it will come!' and it gets so tiring bcs it's always the same over and over!! #like i've never actively looked for a partner n it never came either way!!!!!!!!!! and i'd like to decide if it was worth it or not!!!!!! #idk man being almost 25 and never have been in a relationship did things to me that i don't think i'll ever get over #i convinced myself i'm never gonna get into a relationship to either get those thoughts out of my head or to like prepare myself towards th #future bcs honestly? i just think thats not for me #and it sucks a bit you know? like i'd love to know how it feels to have someone in love with you #i yearn for that but i simply don't think i'm someone ppl fall in love with. never have been and convinced myself i never will #i may delete this but i needed to get it out lol #ppl who never has been in relatiomships n are adults now let's all hold hands 🫴 #jo.txt