#in infertile women btw. and then someone left a reply being literally just as i gave the example of: ''men werent the ones doing it''.

[colognedecigarette]

i just clocked why sometimes but not all the time when i see someone being like, "yes but this group isnt the one doing this" or something along those lines, i get so annoyed but again, only sometimes.

like for example if someone's saying like, idk, "girls got the not like other girls syndrome bc they want to be accepted by guys around them" and someone swoop in being, "guys werent the one making them do that though" am more or less just like. yea. yea, i get what the op was saying but this commenter isnt wrong and thus not annoying.

but if the op was like, "our culture and society place so much value in male approval that a lot of girls developed not like other girls syndrome for that approval" and then a person swoops in giving the same counter as before am like, oh my god shut up literally reread the whole thing again.

cause like, am personally more of the mindset that if youre speaking in public thats on you to minimise as much potential misunderstanding as possible. i mean it's also still on you on private convos but like those are usually more with people you already know so it's whatever, they prolly already got what you meant. and unless the person is a massive asshole clarification is prolly just "huh wdym" "like, this, yknow??" kinda deal. but in public, or with strangers, since they dont know anything about you, and with the tendency of people easier to get confrontational, disclaimers or just clear phrasing in general is like, a courtesy ig. less headache for you too; if someone misunderstands what you said it's easier to be like, "i literally cannot be any clearer than this, this is a you problem" when you've communicated what you meant well enough.

which is why am not exactly a fan of generalisation in public/strangers. like, unless it's pretty clear that it wasnt meant to be taken seriously. i get what people mean when they say stuff like, idk, "men aint shit" but also like ... if you say that unironically, and in what's supposed to be a genuine/serious convo about stuff, and you dont elaborate further.... like i get what youre getting at but also people saying, "not all men" arent wrong either. and i'll be honest as much as i dont disagree with the sentiment behind the slogan and why it came to be at all, whenever these things happen and the usual debate ensues am just like. this is silly. it's silly. am sorry. none of you are having the same conversation with one another. yes, sorry, the person saying not all men was correct actually. no, you werent talking about that, but ostensibly by the phrasing you were. so just. have fun now, i guess.

so when, now, the person is clearly not talking about men, or any group, let alone generalising anyone, and is instead pointing out to the larger entity that affects everyone by making things harder for one group and easier for another ... but not talking about individuals ... to have someone swooping in to be like "not all men/[insert any other demographic]" it's like. youre the silly one here actually. youre clowning so hard but no one attends your gig. sad. embarrassing. literally no one is talking about that. if someone points out the system benefits you thats not someone pointing their finger at you. this isnt about you. like legitimately shut up.

yknow???

#mophead rambles #idefk what the hell is this lmfao i just had a pretty weird day #but yea this absolutely apply to pretty much anything though it's just that the interaction that inspired this revelation #was about ''men'' vs ''male dominated society'' (←the phrasings) so prolly why i just used the examples i did #(actual comment was op talking about how the patriarchal system placing women as child bearer instills a sense of envy and inadequacy #in infertile women btw. and then someone left a reply being literally just as i gave the example of: ''men werent the ones doing it''. #like women hurt other women all the time we knew. who inspired them though. like when an infertile woman got so jealous she actually put #another woman who's fertile in harm who/what exactly did you think inspired that jealousy in her. like thats what we're talking about here. #we're not talking about who did what we're not talking about individuals we're talking about whole cultural system at large #the op couldnt have been any clearer in her communication this is a you problem.)