#it's not a normal day if I don't overanalyse mike

[eclipsebyler]

Mike and the “Truth” (A Long Analysis)

I always think about this S4 Byler heart to heart in the desert and how we understood the queer-coding of Will’s statements here:

And how Mike nods along with it, like he understands and agrees with the sentiment: "Because what if they don’t like the truth?”

Which will always baffle me because it doesn't make sense that he agrees here given the context of his problem.

Mike was opening up about his situation with El in this scene. How he wasn't able to tell everything to her. How he couldn't say I love you to her. He's thinking that maybe if he did do that, he would still have El by his side.

He didn't say the full details of the problem to Will. He keeps it vague. And Will tries to empathize with it anyway with his own thoughts. Something that he relates with about 'not being able to tell someone how you feel' and adding how 'scary it is because they might not like the truth'. And Mike nods in understanding.

But... why would vocalizing his love for his girlfriend a truth she wouldn’t like? When El herself has cried and confronted him about it and was asking him to reassure her that he still loves her. It’s something El has been waiting for and would love to hear. It shouldn't have made him feel scared or made him think she wouldn't like it or that it would hurt if he said it because it hurt her more that he didn't.

Unless this isn't what Mike is thinking about in this scene. Maybe he has another thing he is scared of her knowing, something she definitely wouldn't want to hear. Maybe there’s another reason why he’s having a hard time vocalizing his love for her — the full truth that he's holding back to say.

And what could possibly be a truth he’s scared El might not like?

In a few S4 scenes, we see Mike opening up about the truth to his feelings. He even starts his statements with it when he slowly gets vulnerable. 

1 - The bedroom heart to heart scene

The truth: His best friends are great, but they’re not Will. Will’s presence in his life is different from the others. Hawkins, their hometown, isn’t the same without him. 

If we recall in S1, Dustin insisted that Lucas was Mike’s best friend after they fought — Mike denies this and says all of them are important to him. Lucas, Will and Dustin are all equal in Mike’s eyes at this point of canon, they're all his best friends.

But then in S4, he says Max and Lucas and Dustin are different to Will. Will is in a tier higher than them now. There must be a gradual shift to how he sees Will through the years as they grew older. He’s more than a best friend to Mike now.

And then another truth he opens up about is that he felt like he lost Will because of worrying too much about El. 

Being in a relationship with El made him lose Will, has affected his friendship with him— but not his friendship with the other party members. This is another proof pointing towards Mike seeing Will differently from his other friends.

Instead, Will’s always being compared beside El — his supposed love interest. Mike even makes the comparison himself in their rink-o-mania fight.

When Will asks why he's been distant and didn't communicate with him for the past year, no letters, little to no phone calls; Mike retaliates with the reasoning that Will’s not his lover (like El is) for him to do that. He emphasizes they’re just friends.

What’s interesting in this scene is that Will isn’t even implying that. He just wanted to be close to be Mike again, like they used to be — best friends. 

Mike made the implication himself that if he did send a letter to Will, if he did call him as much — it would mean something more. Even though that’s a simple communication that should be normal you do with friends. Unless Mike has started thinking differently and have this exact train of thought when he thought of reaching out to Will. 

It wouldn't be farfetched. Given that Will did the same thing — he didn’t reach out as much to Mike and we know why. He must have been scared Mike would catch up on his feelings, that Mike would notice he's acting weird. He pushed him away because he’s scared of losing him.

(Mike has also felt weird the past year. Mike has also pushed Will away on a few occasions. It's easy to assume and put two and two together.)

2 - The van scene 

The truth: He doesn’t believe El needs him. He thinks she just needed someone, that anyone could have found her in that moment but he just got lucky that night. Their first meeting is not fate nor destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck.

Mike is having doubts about their relationship just like El is. El thinks he doesn’t love her, and Mike thinks she doesn’t need him. They don’t believe in each other anymore because they both see what’s happening in their relationship. Where Mike couldn’t say nor even write the world love to El even after being together for long, meanwhile there’s El who couldn’t depend on Mike and tell him the real situation of her life in Lenora. 

They’re slowly losing trust in each other, or rather, losing trust in their romantic relationship. (Or maybe they have already lost it.)

3 - The pizza dough freezer scene

The truth: Mike doesn’t know how to live without El. His life only started to have meaning or purpose when they found her in the woods. He fell in love at her at first sight and has loved her every day since. 

Mike’s monologue is an emotional speech of everything El needed to hear at this moment. Mike finally says he loves her, tells her that the reason why he couldn’t say it is because it would hurt at the end if she didn’t need him anymore, and not because he was scared of her (in relation to her worries of being perceived as a monster). He goes on a long list of how much he believes in El’s abilities and that she could do anything, that he loves and accepts her for who she is. But more than anything, El is his superhero. 

Now I don’t believe everything he said here is a total lie like most people say it is. Mike does love and cares so much about El, he does believe in her and he’s scared of losing her. El is important to him, just as she is to everyone else she loves. 

But some of the things he says here are very contradictory and doesn’t sound like the full truth — especially in relation to their romantic relationship. One of the biggest ones being how he says their first meeting is this fateful night where he fell in love with her. Out of all the sweet and cute moments between Mike and El, why is their first meeting (a horrible night for everyone no less) something he focused on and made it sound so romantic? 

It’s hard to believe because previously he admits that their first meeting is just simple dumb luck and suddenly it’s this grand romantic night of him meeting his first love. 

Nevertheless, this whole speech is Mike pouring out his love and care for El. 

However, between these three major scenes where Mike opens up about his feelings — which of these sounds like a truth Mike is scared of El knowing, a truth she (and the people he cares for) wouldn’t like?

Definitely not his grand love confession, because everyone already knows he loves El. If anything, El is the only one left doubting it and waiting to hear it. Mike finally says it, and whether El believes everything he said or not, we’re not sure of yet. But one thing for sure is Mike said everything she needed and would love to hear, not the opposite. 

“Sometimes, it’s just scary to open up like that. To say how you really feel. Especially to people you care about the most. Because what if they don’t like the truth?”

The only narratives that could fit this sentiment is the first two truths he says in his heart to hearts with Will. 

Mike might be scared of admitting that Will is more than a best friend to him now. He already grew romantic feelings for him. His life isn’t the same without Will. Mike has felt like he lost him because of El. And he wants him back like they used to. To be a team together, again.

And it also fits with how Mike admits that his relationship with El isn’t fated to happen and that it’s not going to last any longer. That after everything is over, he believes El won’t need him anymore. That with her, he feels like he’s just some random nerd who doesn’t have anything worth loving about him. Mike feels inferior to El, the same way El feels with him. They’re both stuck in this relationship that doesn’t help them grow individually.

Both of these are neither of the things he admits to El in the pizza dough freezer. He didn’t tell her the full truth (and given the grave situation at hand, I can understand why he couldn’t. El needed encouragement, not more disappointments). But more than that, Mike might still be scared of fully admitting and coming to terms with everything he feels.

I truly believe that in S5, all of these truths will be unpacked and come full circle. The biggest catalyst of it would definitely be the painting and the "You're the heart" speech. And it would affect all relationships involved one way or another: El and Mike. Mike and Will. And maybe to some extent, Will and El.

#byler #mike wheeler #it's not a normal day if I don't overanalyse mike #and whatever goes on in his head #mike's going to come terms with the truth soon #the truth being: he's bisexual #or gay #both works for me but I'm a Bi Mike truther! #more importantly he's very in love with will #and he and el work better as platonic friends #platonic elmike in s5!!!