#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender

[ineed-to-sleep]

Funny how all it takes is a couple of conversations with a cis straight man about gender to make me go "yup I'm definitely not cis"

#listen I adore my stepfather ok but he's got a pretty traditional view of gender #he's very respectful of others and doesn't enforce it on anyone else #and I think it's not that toxic all things considered bc he sees 'manhood' as being primarily about being hard working and protecting other #but it's still very gender essentialist #and he sees a lot of things as 'man things' and 'woman things' #and talks about skills and roles that are 'men's' #and I'm just like well but I do a lot of those things. but I identify with a lot of the things you describe. #and he tries to go around it like 'ahh well but you have personal history with that' etc etc #we get along really well tho we don't fight or anything but it's interesting to me #it makes me realize just how much I'm outside of the binary in the eyes of cis people #and how much 'trying to be a man' or 'trying to be a woman' are things that hold no emotional meaning to me(personally) #I could not care less what makes me masculine or feminine or if either of those labels are revoked for some reason #taking on the label of woman or man feels like a burden to me bc it always comes with a set of expectations #I just wanna be me yk. I just want people to see me through the lens of 'this is a person' #'this is what this person likes. this is how this person behaves' #I just wanna turn off gender. can I do that? like just flip a switch and no one perceives me as anything anymore #in a perfect world maybe #sleep.txt #I honestly still don't fully understand how I feel about gender but. I know that I don't like being put into a box #the box is Evil.