#meanwhile all I've been doing has been watching old races from the 90s

[you-will-return]

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#sorry for being so afk recently #it probably won't change #i haven't had a calm moment since mid-December and it's starting to gnaw at my brain #and now the only irl place where I felt somewhat happy is falling apart bc of in-group-politics #it's so annoying #can't we just all breathe for a second? #can't everyone stop being passive aggressive assholes to each other for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? #i don't want to pick sides #i don't want this stupid group to break apart #something has been feeling off since October and last week my friend and I finally put our finger on it #and BOY figuring it out has.not.helped. #meanwhile all I've been doing has been watching old races from the 90s #bc the only thing that makes my brain shut up at the moment is cars going vroom in a circle for 1.5hrs apparently #every irl interaction atm feels like walking on egg shells #and the only thing that's stopping me from crying every time i get home is just keeping myself busy and not thinking abt my life ever #anyway my insurance has blocked me from therapy for the next 3 years so that's great #.....i don't want to come on here and just complain but nothing has been going right recently. #maybe i'll be back to normal eventually but not at the moment #not for a while