#most of whatever's in my folder are abandoned wips or just ideas that i wouldn't write yet any time soon lol

[linonyang]

was tagged by @starlostseungmin ​(thank u keisy :DD)

“post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. let people send you an ask with any titles most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have wips.”

an angel — felix. this is just some fluffy felix who is lovesick about reader :D

can you tell me how to love? — jisung. this is just me projecting how desperate i am to experience a romantic relationship even if i actually don’t want to get into one LMAO but this involves the reader actually trying it out :p i actually work on this every time i go through it™️ help

returning to balete — seungmin. so i posted a teaser of this fic last year before but i plan to totally revise it from top to bottom :D and ofc this is a trese au btw lol

the adventure ensues — seungmin. IT’S SEUNGMIN AGAIN LOL but it’s basically an atom no ko au (i love the series so much please)... and that’s kind of a giveaway on what seungmin could be here HAHA and i kinda win here as an i.t. major bc game developer!seungmin is soooo </3

dog ear bookmarks — felix. i haven’t touched this wip in a long time but i really want to continue it when i have more time! this is an author!felix au heheheh and a classic fluff fic from me obviously :> i think there'll be elements that i haven't done before for this fic ;)

walang pinagbago — hyunjin. this was a scrapped wip... that i decided to revise soon too and hopefully finish! HAHA so just from the title, it’s obviously a fic set in the philippines... and it’s just some cute high school au with some relatable elements(? for filos ig) (and spoiler: it’s childhood friends (who eventually separated) to lovers :p idm sharing the trope lol)

tagging some frens: @cosmic-railwayxo @seo--changbin @awooghan @beautifulchris @therhythmafterthesummer (no need to do this tho if you don't feel like doing it :DD)

#yk what i have soooo much more than this but these are the ones that i really prioritize rn haha #most of whatever's in my folder are abandoned wips or just ideas that i wouldn't write yet any time soon lol #had fun with these tho! #r.plays

[angryschnauzer]

I realised two months have gone by since i last updated you all, i'm not even sure if anyone is interested anymore. I know i haven't been on much, perhaps sporadically coming on and mindlessly reblogging Henry stuff just for a little escape, but its intermittent at best. I had hoped to be back to writing by now, but life is still a huge pile of shit.

I'm run ragged trying to pay the bills. My wedding decorations business is halfway between slow and dead; the cost of living crisis means weddings aren't really happening, and if they are most of the items i do people are making themselves. My side gig in ebay flipping is quiet too but at least its trickling by. I don't mention this much as people get a lot of abuse over 'thrift store flippers' (Charity Shop resellers here in the UK), but right now its what's keeping my family fed. I buy clothing for £1 from the stinky dregs bin in a charity shop, wash it, mend it, resell it for £4. I'm not making millions or even thousands. I'm lucky if i'm bringing in £150 a week which barely covers our weekly food shop. Its draining that when i do eventually mention this to my friends they immediately start moaning at me that i'm the one 'ruining' charity shops and why its pushing the prices up. But when i calmly tell them its that or i don't eat they go quiet. I'm not the one pushing a 2nd hand coat for £25 which was only £20 brand new which most high street charity shops are doing. Do i like doing this? No. Do i have to? Yes. Because i sure as ain't cute enough for onlyfans.

But the majority of my time over the last couple of months has been spent caring for our son. He's 8 and has type 1 diabetes, and since school started back in September one little shit in his class has spent every waking moment bullying him. This little shit has been stabbing my son with pencils, poking him in the kidneys with whatever he has to hand, laughing and sneering at him at every opportunity even when he's just walking past. Having the adrenaline and cortisol in my son's bloodstream affects how his insulin works, and he builds up an insulin resistance because of all the other hormones in his bloodstream. I've had so many meetings with the school, and have had to get the board of governors involved because when your 8 year old kid says quietly to you "It would be better if i wasn't alive as then *Little Shit* wouldn't be able to bully me" your heart breaks into pieces.

He needs my support more than anything, so every single other thing has been put by the wayside. And its tough. He acts out at home, messes around with his dinner because he feels he needs to be able to control something, but that in turn messes up insulin dosing so i'm spending half the night dealing with highs and lows for his blood sugars. I get at most 5 hours sleep a night.

I have no more energy left. I'm not eating, because i just can't stomach it. I'm 43 and hitting menopause, but my doctor doesn't want to know because "You just need to loose some weight" (don't get be started on fat bias from the NHS).

So i'm filling my time with volunteering at school so i can be 'around' for my Little Dude. He knows that if he's having an awful day, he will find me in the office sorting through paperwork for our next fundraiser. Its not what i want to be doing, but its what i need to be doing.

One day i hope to get back to my writing. I miss being creative and i hate that i have so many stories part written/published. As the months tick by i actually end up seeing stories written by others that have the same characters/plotlines. This is no-ones fault that two stories exist on the same synopsis, it would just seem that they and I have taken the same inspiration from media at some point. But it makes me scared that if i now publish a story i started 2 years ago, i'll be accused of stealing an idea. I don't know what to do. So i just leave my WIP folder abandoned.

For everyone that has stayed with me thank you. For those that have moved onto pastures new, i wish you well and hold no malice.

I do love you all

Mama Schnauz

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