#n then ffxiv oh god. 6.2 coming up but i'm still catching up on 6.0 and 6.1 T_T

[noxtivagus]

these next few weeks r gna be extra crazy oh god

#🌙.rambles #uhh school yes. we go back to onsite (i'm hyflex) soon #i really have no idea what the future holds T_T i continue to believe in myself yes but #shs. yeah. #i'm hoping that i'll meet new ppl n make more friends #n i'm really going to have to prioritize my studies. i think i'm smart enough for a scholarship when it's time for college #hoping stem doesn't kill me T_T academics aren't particularly difficult for me but the workload n my mental health is uhhh 💀 #i'm really going to have to fix my sleep sched. n time management bcs i'm gna join some school orgs this year #last two school years in this pandemic have been kind of a rest time for me. idk my mental health somehow got really fucked up #anyways i wna indulge more in hobbies as well so i'm rlly gna have to manage my time n energy better >.> #n then ffxiv oh god. 6.2 coming up but i'm still catching up on 6.0 and 6.1 T_T #i'm worried about ultimate/raiding prog w the static. i shldn't worry too much bcs i shldn't play as much anyways anymore but #my ffxiv/raider life isn't smth i want to sacrifice if possible. rn w all the time issues i'll just have to wait n see of what becomes of us #when i'm older n working ik i'll rarely have time to play games so i rlly want to enjoy what i can while i'm still young #that sounds so depressing but it's not /too/ bad when my work is my passion and love anyways :') #but there lies another problem bcs it seems like my social life is gna be even more nonexistent. hopefully not but #with being busy + anxiety it's. just hard. i can't stress enough how hard it is for me #but this is shs i wna enjoy myself as much as possible 🫠 #n then w recent/upcoming events i've been thinking a lot of various stuff #two friends back on twintania r getting married in-game on saturday >< #'thats kinda gay' i said n he said he actually might be 🤭 interesting #that made me think tho abt how damn #most females i'm close with are straight while most males i'm close w are gay #everyone else i'm either not interested in or they're most likely interested in someone else 🤕 #idm bcs love. is not. my priority. sobs. but #we may have prom this year ??? it wld be. idk cool maybe if i cld fulfill a dream of mine when i was younger #prom's the closest i can experience ig to like those ballroom kinda stuff. i rlly had a fondness for that kinda stuff around my noctis phase #i cld go w no one ig or apollo/a friend but #wwww let me be a kid this time i wna experience going to prom w someone who's 'more than just a friend' #that sounds so unrealistic but i'd like to have that experience in highschool yk T_T