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sneezefiction · 4 years

Note

could i have headcanons for oikawa, kenma, noya and tanaka for how they’d react if their s/o told them she wanted to break up as a joke ? thank you 🥺🥺🥺

Oikawa, Kenma, Nishinoya, and Tanaka x Reader - Fake Break Up Headcanons

a/n: have some goofy headcanons w/ some of the best boys, babe <3333 i hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!!

warnings: slight language

total wc: 1080

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Oikawa

there are times when Oikawa just won’t give you the attention you need

yeah, he’s a sweet boyfriend and all, but between volleyball practice, appeasing fangirls, and his social media platforms, he doesn’t have much allotted time for only the two of you

while trying to figure out how to garner some of Oikawa’s focus, a lightbulb goes off in your head.

you’re sure you’ve seen a TikTok or Youtube video of people breaking up with their s/o as a joke…

so while Oikawa is distracted by some form of social media, scrolling mindlessly on the couch, you’re tilting your phone camera up to video this moment

you come sit at the edge of the couch and utter some of the most terrifying words ever spoken

“Tooru, we need to talk.”

his head shoots up, body following with it

“What’s wrong, baby?” his eyes are wide and he’s unquestionably nervous

“I think we should break up.” you’re doing all you can to keep a straight face, waiting for a goofy reaction

but right as the words leave your lips, you feel instant regret

the most shocked expression adorns his features and you swear you can already see tears welling up in his eyes

“Wait, wait, wait it’s a joke I’m sorry! Look there’s a camera and everything, Tooru, I’m sorry!” you bounce forward, gathering him in your arms

you finally just let him know that you’ve been jealous and frustrated (baby needs attention)

he literally makes you promise to never prank him again, bc he insists “his whole heart shattered” and that “it was an act of cruelty”

y’all cuddle all night bc he can’t let you go after that scare

Kenma

ok so Kuroo has been trying to get a new reaction out of Kenma for the past 2 weeks

and nothing is working at all

so him, being his true scheming self, asks you to get involved

you accept bc he paid you you’re curious too and ask him what you need to do

“Just… y’know, break up with him or something?” he suggests nonchalantly

“What the hell, Kuroo!” your jaw dropping at his absurd request

“Bro, I already paid you! No take-backs.” he shrugs “Also, you gotta record it and send it to me.”

when you get home you feel like such a sucker for agreeing to it, but you’d rather not owe Kuroo any favors so you get everything set up as quietly as possible

Kenma, in his usual gaming position tucked under a blanket on your shared bed, scoots over to let you in, but you seat yourself at the edge instead

“Kenma…” wow you feel weird, “I uhm. I don’t think this is working out between us.” you’re cringing at yourself

you’re basically hoping he’ll make a weird face so that you can turn off the camera and explain everything to him quickly

eyes still glued to his game, Kenma simply states, “Kuroo put you up to this, babe.”

“I’m sorry plea- wait what, how’d you know?” you stutter out, confused

“He’s been doing weird-ass stuff for a long time, y/n.” he shrugs

“...okay… tell me more?” your focus completely shifting to storytime with Kenma

now you know all about Kuroo’s strange history with your boyfriend… and it’s all recorded, right there, on your phone

Noya

it started off with a seemingly harmless game of truth or dare w/ the Karasuno boys, including your boyfriend, Nishinoya

you’d agreed to go along with it because they promised it would be chill nothing is ever chill w/ these kids, i s2g

however, you’ve already used up your maximum number of “truths” so you’re forced to pick dare for this turn

suddenly all the boys, except Nishinoya, are huddled together

you two just stare at each other with great confusion

simultaneously, all the boys turn around, making you jump, and say

“Nishinoya, get out.”

well ok this is weird

once he leaves, and may i say very reluctantly, you’re faced with the most painful of dares

“Y/n, the council has decided. For your dare, you must fake break up with Nishinoya later this week.”

fools. absolute idiots. but who are you to deny the council of boys?

so when the dreaded day comes, you facetime the boys in, leaving them on mute on your kitchen countertop and make your way up to Noya who’s actively attempting to make dinner

so you begin, “Nishinoya I… I just, uhm…”

“Yes, baby what is it?” his eyes dazzle when they meet yours

lmao you can’t, he just looks too excited to see you and you know for a fact his funky, lil heart would break

“I, uh… just wanted a hug actually.”

“Why didn’t you just say so!” he responds, a grin stretching across his bright face, squeezing the absolute life out of you

“It was… supposed to be a dare from the boys the other day, but-” you try to explain

“Y’all’s dares are lame as hell.” Noya cuts you off finally realizing their presence on the counter, still pressed up against your body

baby had no idea

the council is displeased… and a little jealous

Tanaka

this guy has been on his Xbox all damn day

and it’s starting to wear on you

all the yelling, the thundering laughter, and weird code words were interrupting your reading, thinking, and ruining the cozy, weekend vibes

you’ve tried everything so far:

you made him his favorite meal? nothing. asked him to go out with you tonight? “Let’s do it tomorrow babe.” telling him to be a little quieter? somehow he managed to increase in volume.

so you text Kiyoko and ask her what she would do

homegirl literally suggested you break up with him, so that’s a no-go…

but maybe you could just… threaten it kinda? your babe can take a joke and it might finally get him to calm down

so you walk over to him and loudly exclaim,

“I swear if you don’t stop obsessing over whatever it is you’re playing, I’m just gonna leave.” trying your hardest to sound coldhearted

Tanaka yanks his headphones off and he’s on his feet, horrified

and now you’re just laughing, your sputtering boyfriend unsure of your contrasting words and emotions

“Sorry babe, you’re just… so loud. And I kinda miss you.” you hold out your arms, trying to draw him toward you

“Not funny!” now you’ve done it.

he’s gonna pout for a while and you’ll be the one to deal with it

but... if you give him a kiss and a real apology, he’ll snap out of it real fast

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yosanosuggestions-blog · 7 years

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Ranposano for the otp thing, all of themmm

1: Who spends almost all their money on the other? > Yosano loves spending money on Ranpo, treats him to dinner often, buys him all the sweets, likes getting him little trinkets.

2: Who sleeps in the other’s lap? > Ranpo likes sleeping on Yosano’s lap. Yosano will play with his hair and quietly hum lullabies.

3: Who walks around the house half-naked and who yells at them to put on some clothes? > Ranpo walks around their apartment half naked all the time, Yosano doesn’t mind but still tells him to put clothes on

4: Which one tells the other not to stay up all night and which one stays up all night anyway? > Yosano stays up all night, usually doing work. Ranpo will wake up often in the middle of the night and when he does he tries to get her to come to bed.

5: Which one tries to make food for the other but burns it all by accident and which one tells them that it’s okay and makes them both cookies? > Ranpo tries cooking for Yosano all the time, he usually burns it. Yosano made some cookies for the both to share.

6: Which one reads OTP prompts and says “Oh that’s us!” and which one goes “Eh, not really”? > Yosano “oh thats us!” Ranpo “Eh not really?”

7: Which one constantly wears the other’s clothes? > Yosano wears Ranpo’s clothes all the time, will steal his hat often, but she usually goes to sleep in a spare poncho of Ranpo’s whenever he’s out on a mission, its the only way she’ll be able to sleep when he’s gone.

8: Which one spends all day running errands and which one says “You remembered [thing], right?” > Yosano runs all the errands because Ranpo can’t even train properly. Whenever Ranpo starts the “You remembered-” she cuts him off by handing up the item she knows he’ll ask for.

9: Which one drives the car and which one gives them directions? > Yosano drives, Ranpo will give her directions via map.

10: Which one does the posing while the other one draws? > Yosano poses while Ranpo draws, Ranpo loves drawing his girlfriend and often asks her to pose for him.

11: If they were about to rob a museum, which one does backflips through lasers and which one is strolling behind with a bag of chips? > Yosano and backflips while Ranpo trails behind her eating chips. “Why are you like this, Ranpo?” “What can I say? I like snacks.”

12: Which one of your OTP overdoes it on the alcohol and which one makes the other stop drinking? 50/50. When Ranpo does drink, Yosano takes care of him always. Even before they started dating she would take care of him. When Yosano drinks she drinks a lottt, Ranpo usually hides the alcohol from her when she gets too drunk.

13: Which one likes to surprise the other with a lot of small random gifts? > Yosano 1000%, Yosano will always give Ranpo little gifts, his apartment is full of them.

14: Which one keeps accidentally using the other’s last name instead of their own? > Ranpo omg save this poor child, he’s used Yosano’s last name quite a few times.

15: Which one screams about the spider and which one brings the spider outside? > You bet your ass Ranpo is screaming while standing on the table “YOSANO HELP ME!!”, Yosano sighs and scoops up the spider, putting it outside.

16: Which one gives the other their jacket? > Ranpo gives Yosano his jacket all the time, she loves how it smells and how warm it is. Ranpo loves seeing Yosano in his jacket he finds it endearing.

17: Who keeps getting threatened by the other’s overprotective older sibling? > I feel like Yosano’s older sibling would threaten Ranpo. “You fucking egotistical brat, don’t hurt my sister or I’ll hurt you.”

18: Who’s the first one to admit they have feelings for the other? > Yosano swallowed her pride first. “Ranpo, I really like you, I have for quite a while now..” He’d open his eyes in surprise and just smirk once it set in. “I like you too.”

19: How good would your OTP be at parenting? > Bless them both, they don’t know how. Yosano is good with children but she’s scared of hurting the child.

20: Which one types with perfect grammar and which one types using numbers as letters? > Yosano uses that great grammar and amazing spelling, Ranpo uses text talk.

21: Who gets attacked by a bully and who protects them? > Ranpo getting picked on for his ability, Yosano would punch that fucker in the face so hard.22: Who makes the bad puns and who makes a pained smile every time the other makes a pun? > Ranpo and his puns I s2g. “Ha ha, funny..” She tries to smile, she can’t.

23: Who comes home from work to see that the other one bought a puppy? > Yosano drops her bag on the ground. “Ranpo why is there a dog in our house?” “His name is Pepe. He’s part of the family now.”

24: Which one gives the other a piggyback ride when they’re tired? > Yosano has no trouble carrying Ranpo to bed and has done so on several occasions.

25: Which one competes in some sort of activity and which one does the overzealous cheering? > Yosano would probably be the one to compete, although he’s lazy Ranpo would definitely cheer his girl on and go over the top with it.

26: Who takes a selfie when the other one falls asleep on their shoulder? > 50/50, they love each other, they show each other off to the world all the time, and this includes selfies.

27: Which one would give the other a makeover if they asked? > Ranpo has definitely done this for Yosano before when she asked him too, the results were hilarious.

28: Which one owns a pet that the other is absolutely terrified of? > I think they both love animals so neither would be scared.

29: Which one holds the umbrella over both of them when it rains? > Yosano to the rescue.

30: If your OTP went on vacation, where would they go and what would they do? Who would take the pictures? > Probably to Canada, they wanna see the thick snow and beautiful geography. They’d try new foods, different country’s snacks, they’d go exploring, and lots of touring. Yosano takes the most photos

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