#snz thirst is more predictable bc it's just

[suddencolds]

i've def heard of people having to be in the right headspace to write like, v thirsty/self-indulgent snz content, but somehow i find it equally difficult to be in the right headspace to write angst

#snz thirst is more predictable bc it's just #letting my d pilot the plane instead of my head and blinking down to see that i've written 2 thousand words #angst is not like a snz-specific device so you'd think it'd be easier to utilize #but specifically in the context of h/c it feels like #close to the same level of self-indulgent for me... only i feel so much more self-conscious when i'm writing it. i think it's also because #i feel like people more easily excuse gratuitous snz as like 'omg the author really went for it 🥵 this is hot' whereas for angst the #equivalent of 'overdoing it' or being too indulgent is like... okay this is ooc. these characters are not arguing in a way that feels #believable. it feels like they are being flattened or misconstrued just for the sake of the angst 🙁 #what i'm trying to say is #being perceived as overindulgent in the angst sense scares me so much more than being perceived as overindulgent in the snz sense #when i get really into writing angst i'm like >:) omg i live for dramatic tension and misunderstandings. please argue MORE #but when i get to editing it i'm like 😰😰 what was i thinking. would they really say that... would they really cry here... #which feels terrifying in a different way - the not-knowing if what i've been writing will be received as i intend it or if it'll be seen #as too emotionally trite / unbelievable #does that make sense... i am operating on 4h of sleep right now which is probably #why this post exists haha. but anyways