#sugar feels like the counterpart of this one - it's him accepting and actively seeking the conflict

[moonchild-in-blue]

Thinking about Higher and that line:

And you need a melody, I only need the silence

As if Vessel is reminding us that this is his purpose - to sing and to worship Sleep, because he has to. No matter how much he wants peace, how much he wants to break free from Them, to live a normal life, he will always come back to this. To Sleep. As if his very existence's worth is measured only by the music he offers to Them.

It's also a weary sigh of admittance. He's aware of the discrepancy between him and Sleep, between the love he desperately seeks in Them, yet doesn't find, and the love he willingly gives away, and is ravenously consumed by Sleep, again and again.

'Cause I am a fire and you are dry as bone You are taking your time You are killing me slow (...) With all that you believe You still refuse to shelter me 'Cause I am a danger and you're A long way from home

I think it's interesting how he's constantly comparing himself to predators, to the things that hurt, and yet he's the one who's being preyed on, who's being burned. As if that subversion of roles is Vessel declaring how overwhelming Their power over him is; no matter how powerful or intense his love for Sleep is, it pales in comparison to Sleep's divine existence. As if loving Them both ignites his passion and drains his very being.

Because he could hurt Them if he wanted. Because the biggest betrayals come from those closest to you. And Sleep lives beneath his flesh, lodged in his mind, his heart. He knows their weaknesses, he has seen the ugly parts of them and took them to himself. Yet chooses not to - or rather, he prefers not to, but he plays along anyways.

And we are exhausted by all this pretending We just can't resist the violence

The price of absolute devotion is what fuels Sleep's attention, and for a man desperate for the slightest hint of comfort and care, this is enough - this is everything. So if fighting the one he loves is the condition to receive their love, then he'll spill blood and tear skin to keep their favour. Because the pain he endures under Sleep's touch is nothing comparing to the pain of being denied their affection. So he learns to welcome the violence, because the aftermath will always bring him close to them.

(There's something about Sleep showing him just enough love to keep him around, but not enough to satiate his hunger, that I find utterly appealing.)

Deep down he knows this is not right, that being loved is not something to be indebted for. He loves and gives himself freely to Sleep; for Vessel, loving someone has no cost. But if this is what it takes to be with them, so be it. After all, who else could love him but Them?

And you need a melody, I only need the silence

You need praise and entertainment; you need the games, the bloodshed, the sacrifice; you think love is destruction. You need to consume in order to give.

I only need you. To love and be loved by you alone. So come have your fill of me; empty me of everything. I will still love you.

---

[If TPWBYT is Vessel going through depression and grieving this relationship, and what it once was, and TMBTE is him finally coming to terms with its demise and accepting that there needs to be a change, then Sundowning is him recognising the toxic nature of their relationship, but being too captivated and weak to resist it. It's him knowing how badly he will burn, but choosing to fly towards the sun anyways just to feel its warmth.]

#this is one of my favourite lyrics of them. that single sentence. #that whole album is so wonderfully put together #even if melody-wise there's a bigger discrepancy of sounds than compared to the other albums the lyrics are strewn together beautifully #sugar feels like the counterpart of this one - it's him accepting and actively seeking the conflict #because the night after is that much more delicious #anyways. this was not what i needed to write. and yet #that's what you get for yearning while listening to them #sundowning #sleep token #sleep token lore #darya is unhinged