#the scene with his scars and knives is like 'look what theyve done to you' and vash is like 'ill do it over if it means ill save just one

[heavensmortuary]

not even joking one bit but reading Trigun was like. It's ok to grieve and burn at the cruelty and overwhelming pain that you see and feel and know you're capable of immense evil and it's normal to feel disgusted with your own capacity for evil (even if you're trying your BEST not to hurt others) and it's ok to grieve about how broken the world is, as long as you don't go to those dark places, either in your mind or wherever your path leads, alone. As long as your anger doesn't lead you to sin. As long your despair doesn't pull others into despair.

That your own capacity for good and peace can be shattered in an single weak moment, and that's just your nature, but it has to be fought against regardless, and you can't do it alone. That grief and struggle are not things to keep to yourself, they're nothing to be ashamed about, that embracing them will help others too.

Trigun really said that joy ISNT happiness, and should never be confused as such. Joy is a bloody, dirt and glass shard covered thing. It's not just for yourself, but for others around you. If you have joy maybe they can hold onto it too, hold it close to them too. Because sometimes hope simply isn't enough. Sometimes things are hopeless. But joy makes a hopeless fight worth struggling over. Joy makes you abound in hope. Patient in tribulation. Lacking nothing.

To quote N.D. Wilson in 'Notes From The Tilt-A-Whirl', "Tragedy must be destroyed by someone willing to be swallowed by it, willing to be broken, torn out of the flesh, but able to return to it."

It's holding nothing back. Willing to face to most horrific parts of your own self, the worst of this world, the things you are desperately scared of, the things you hate, to suffer long, and hold nothing back. To live like you're meant to die. Meant to be ragged. Run until there's nothing left, until everything is burned away and even the bones don't remain. That's how life is supposed to be lived. Nothing held back, thrown into the darkness. Biting and tearing screaming into the sunlight

#krakens croaks #trigun posting #SCREAMING AND YELLING I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS I JUST #gnaws on my own arm like that one reaction picture #thinking about #the scene with his scars and knives is like 'look what theyve done to you' and vash is like 'ill do it over if it means ill save just one #more person' #or something along the lines #to be used up. not to live life in comfort. its being of constant sorrow but endless joy #bite bite bite #'i cant stay. as much as i want to. i have things that arent finished' ROLLING AROUND ROLLING AROUND and he could have just stayed!!!