#they're just constantly looking for / discovering shit in this show huh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sol-consort · 3 months

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Repost of an ask I accidentally deleted.

Pov: You're a turian discovering this new sapient species broadcasting their whole location to the galaxy very loudly and decide to go down to investigate the humans.

Humans are like a rubber ball, which is what the first contact war proved. The harder you throw them, the harder they bounce back, and the next thing you know, all of your loyal turian population are sending creepy fanmail letters to the cute human news reporters.

The fact that we express joy by showing our teeth probably is something that never sat well with the turians ever, huh?

Also POV: you're the Councillors meeting the human team sent to you trying to convince you on why they should have an embassy right next door and please let them in the citidal please please please please please please-

We Don't bite .Often. We are silly little guys let us in come on. We have been STARVED for any galactic connections. Please we were this close to blowing each other up with nuclear weapons.

Ignore that last bit. Hahaha. Ha. So let us in! Friends! We are friends, let's be friends now. Tell us how you guys reproduce and what you eat. We have cats! We have chocolate, and we have produced more porn than a single human can consume in their lifetime! We have everything you need so let us join the partyyyy.

We've brought beer :) You don't have that, right? Let us in, and we will give you all the food we've made.

Humans annoying their way into getting an embassy so soon is very hilarious.

Because you know damn well that our politicians played the first contact war card and guilt tripped the council into letting us sit on the big kids' table after the turian bullied us to hell and back. We brought the waterworks and pretended they really hurt our feelings just to get the shiny human embassy office.

It didn't matter that they threw us in some random office next to the elcor and the embassies food court. You know damn well none of the humans stayed on the office and they're constantly annoying their neighbour embassies or the citidal tower instead.

Hell, we even stooped so low to accept being called the council's new favourite pet race just so we can get all the benefits and jumpstart our integration into the galaxy.

Constantly asking questions. Constantly touching things. Constantly asking to eat this and drink that without regards to if it will kill us or not.

That's how they found out humans had the most diverse genetics btw, before they could get any tests done on the humans with viable results, they found the said humans eating everything they come across and updating a google docs sheet of things they tried that haven't killed them yet.

The doc is shared between all the humans on the Citidal, and everyone adds their updates. Some even tried inedible stuff just to see, because what if space plastic is different than our plastic? Sure, they ended up in emergency care, but it was so worth it.

The humans are very impatient, and the other races quickly learned. They want something done, and they want to do it now, and they want to get the gratification immediately! They make the salarians look like monks despite their short life spans

In the span of a year, earth humans were sending in job applications to different colonies and planets, ones they haven't even visited yet.

By the span of 5 years, humans successfully spread through the galaxy and you always find one nearby. It's harder not to spot a human than it is to spot them.

How do you find out if the person wearing this armour is an asari or a human? Simple, just wait.

The human will announce it themselves by doing some dumb shit like twirling the loaded gun in their hand to do a really sick trick they saw on the human social media app, tiktok.

Udina was a little shit, yes, but you know that man was knocking on the councillors' doors every day at 3am. to show them his powerpoint presentation on why humans deserve a seat on the council.

Humans fit wherever you put them. They eat everything, they can handle most temperatures. they only need oxygen and some sleep, and they're good to go!

It's hard for the aliens to predict just what type of human any given one of us they meet could be.

There's just too many to keep track of. The most rude person and the nicest person a turian have met are both humans.

They want to see the stars, they want to take pictures, they want to stare at pretty sunsets on different planets and they want to speak to aliens, hug them and learn more about them

They're burning bright like a star, wanting so much all the time. It's intimidating to the other races how hungry humans are for information and connection that they come across as a bully. Their friendly nature gets misunderstood and their kind gestures gets questioned for ulterior motives.

Because humans love helping, it's in our genetic code as a tribal species. We love feeling useful for the tribe and fulfilling others needs. We love giving someone a sip of our drink, opening the door for someone else, picking up a stray empty can and throwing it in the trash.

Going on useful fetch missions just to see someone else smile, hearing a stranger vent because we have been there, smiling at people we make eye contact with, giving compliments and laughing at jokes we overheard from strangers.

We are social, be it online or offline. We love others, we love loving others and we want others to love us back. Each human is so different yet so similar, some of us will feel more at home with the aliens than with other humans while others might not even stomach leaving earth

We are also...kinda of feral in a way? We don't notice it because we're surrounded by humans.

But if you look closely, so many of our traits are animalistic and could be perceived as scary by an alien that had thousands of years to evolve past them. Our hardware is still relatively new, and an update won't come for a long time.

The hugging. the yelling, the dancing, playing tag. games of chase. We evolved from predetors, our eyes are trained to follow a single target precisely.

Rough playing with your friends, enjoying throwing objects and catching it like a ball, enjoying tearing through food with our teeth. Hell we look like predators, we act like ones too.

We're not like worker bees, like turians who always give their all to everything they do.

No, we preserve energy, then lunge at our target the second it's gaurd falls down. A persistent predator that wears you down rather than overpowering you like a krogan

Btw, Korgans evolved from prey because of where their eyes are placed. Only predetors have forward facing eyes to focus on a single thing, the wider one's vision is the more likely they used to be a prey animal.

Side note, but Krogans would probably taste kinda good bc of that, predators' meat evolves to be shrivled and bitter. While Krogans have a literal hump full of food nutrition! Turians would taste bad unless chicken in that case... CHICKEN.

So do you think Hanar and Drell find it adorable that we used to be aquatic?

Anyway so-

In a single decade, humanity successfully integrated fully into the galaxy and joined the Andromeda project to explore the new one. We're like the opposite of hanar. So many other races achieved less than half of what we did in ten times the amount of years

Because we need social contact, it's vital for our survival as much as the sun is. It's our drive for exploring and hoping for aliens, for some other race out there we could befriend and learn about.

New things give us such a rush of dopamine and we're constantly chasing it with stars in our eyes.

In a way, the aliens probably felt the most special after meeting the humans. To have a race so interested in you and learning about you and appreciating your culture. To have thousands if not millions of humans ready to dedicate their lives to documenting you just because you happened to be the prettiest race in their eyes.

Like I'd gladly throw my life away to study the Drell.

And we things other races don't! We party harder funny enough.

A turian mentions it in ME2. How most alcoholic beverages everyone uses today, was invented by humans. How it seems like humans found out every intoxication there is and let it spread like wildfire to others. Out endless libraries of music, the videogames we've made, the art, the instruments we play.

And a Salarian mentions how human food is their favourite. Don't the Hanar also like our sushi? funny enough.

We're infectious. Easily accept anyone and everyone into our groups if we happened to click with them, we even befriended the animals on our planets enough to care for them like our own children.

#☆humans #☆human kink #☆Drell #☆Hanar #☆Turians #☆krogans #☆fluff

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