#theyre going to squeeze every last drop of engagement they can get out of it

[artificialqueens]

Twist Of Fate - Ch11 - (Trixya) - katyahzamo

A/N: Here we are folks, the penultimate chapter of this fic! Things are slowly falling into place with these two and I can’t believe it’s been three months since I started writing it. Thank you everyone, for your continuous support and lovely feedback!

A reminder: Trixie is a hairdresser and Katya is a struggling photographer slash yoga instructor. Lesbian AU. Read the chapters on AO3 and/or come hang out on my tumblr katyahzamo. Comments are welcome and encouraged!

Katya wakes up sometime around eight in the morning the next day, with sweat on her upper lip and on the back of her neck. The air is stuffy in her bedroom, and only when her eyes open does she remember that she’s forgotten to leave the window open before falling asleep.

Additional source of heat is the pile of blonde curls spread across her bare chest, with an arm and a leg hugging her close as Trixie Mattel sleeps peacefully snuggled up to her. Katya can barely feel her arm that got trapped under Trixie sometime through the night, and there is a certain soreness in her thighs that reminds her it’s been a while since she’s had sex… or done strenuous yoga for that matter. Still, she has a large smile on her face as her fingers trail through blonde hair splayed across her collarbone, feeling her heart speed up at the mere thought of the last night’s events.

Seeing Trixie naked, getting to kiss every single inch of her soft skin… it was better than any fantasy Katya’s imagination could have conjured up in many lonely nights when she thought about it. Trixie was both gentle and teasing, and heat pools in the bottom of Katya’s stomach as she remembers Trixie between her legs, eating her out like it’s the last thing she’s going to do. Her thighs squeeze when she recalls the sounds that Trixie made as they fucked, as she made Katya come, over and over again, until they fell asleep snuggled together, too tired to move a muscle or put any clothes on.

Katya is pulled back to the present when Trixie snorts in her sleep and it almost makes her laugh out loud, but she remains silent when she slowly untangles their limbs and slips off the bed, in desperate need of a shower, a cigarette and some food.

Trixie doesn’t wake up until two hours later, to Katya’s great delight, since she has plenty of time to run to a convenience store right across the street, buying some toast, eggs, maple syrup and a pancake mix which she prepares quietly in her narrow kitchen that she barely ever uses for herself in the morning.

It seems that it’s the smell of French toast, eggs and bacon that rouse Trixie from her slumber, and she’s standing in the doorway, in one of Katya’s shirts no less, hair pulled back in a messy ponytail and a bright smile on her face. It makes Katya’s heart jump violently and then drops to her ass. The shirt strains a little over her chest, but reaches her thighs nevertheless. She looks sexy as all hell.

“Morning.”

“Good morning, birthday girl. How did you sleep?”

“Mmm really good, but I think I fully didn’t move all night. Everything hurts.”

There is a little pout on Trixie’s lips, that playful one that Katya has seen so many times in the last twenty-four hours, and it is hard to breathe for a moment before she flips the pancake.

“Maybe you can do some yoga with me later?”

“Hard pass. I’d rather do something else.”

Katya turns her head, and Trixie is there, leaning her hip against the counter, her eyes big, and brown, and staring at Katya’s mouth.

“Yeah?”

“Mmm.”

A second later she hops on the counter to sit there and gets a toast and nibbles on it, watching Katya who puts the last pancake on the plate, turns off the stove and comes in front of her. Trixie’s knees part instinctively and Katya settles between her thighs.

“This is really good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I usually don’t eat white bread that much but I was starving.”

“I also made you pancakes and bought a little candle so you can blow on it. Even though you don’t celebrate your birthday-”

“Oh I celebrate it.”

Katya, who had her hands resting on Trixie’s bare thighs and was brushing her fingers up and down lazily looked at her with her eyebrows raised.

“But you told me last night you-“

“I did that only so you would finish what you started.”

“Oh my god.”

“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?”

Trixie’s wide grin makes Katya cackle, all with head thrown back in delight.

“You’re such a fucking brat.”

“It’s what you signed up for, mama.”

They laugh and Trixie drops the toast back on the plate when Katya leans in to leave kisses under her jaw and down her neck, her eyes closing instinctively and arms wrapping around Katya’s shoulders. She leans up seconds later to capture Trixie’s lips with her own, and before long Trixie has her nails dragging down Katya’s back and Katya desperately digs her fingers into the soft flesh of Trixie’s thighs.

“God you’re so sexy.” Katya’s words are barely a breath she speaks into Trixie’s open mouth, and are greeted with a soft moan before the kiss becomes needier, causing both of them to grind their hips towards the other.

“Trix-“ Katya starts again, but Trixie’s fingers are already trailing down Katya’s abdomen and past the hem of her boxers, finding her wet already. Feeling Trixie’s cold fingers pressing against her clit makes Katya gasp into the kiss, and she adjusts her hips so Trixie can have more access.

It doesn’t take her long before she drops from the counter and on her knees, to Katya’s surprise, in the middle of the tiny kitchen. With Katya’s boxers discarded on a nearby chair and Trixie’s mouth between Katya’s legs, Katya is reduced to a shaky, moaning mess minutes later, barely holding herself upright by leaning back and gripping the countertop with one hand and Trixie’s hair with the other. She comes without much effort and Trixie’s fingers knuckles deep in her pussy, and Trixie playfully kisses her before going for a shower; leaving the Russian disheveled and barely able to put her underwear on and set up the table for breakfast.

“So you know Mrs. Davis, right? Kasha Davis?”

They are sitting on the couch, Trixie’s feet in Katya’s lap and a plate of pancakes in her own. Katya made her blow a single candle she found in one of the drawers and make a wish she then refused to share with Katya. It won’t come true if I do! She said and interrupted Katya’s laugh with a lingering kiss and a hug in a silent thank you. They moved to the couch immediately after and put a movie they weren’t paying attention to, too distracted by kissing and Trixie force-feeding pancakes to Katya, who refused to eat pieces that had maple syrup on it.

“The older, rich lady that comes to Honey? Yeah I know her.”

“Her daughter Jean is having a Sweet Sixteen party in two weeks.”

“Oh god don’t tell me she’s gonna be on MTV or something.”

“How old are you?” Trixie laughs loudly and Katya swats at her ankle playfully. “No, grandma, she won’t be on a show that ended ten years ago, but-“

“It didn’t end! It’s still going!”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah! I’m pretty sure I watched it last week.”

They bicker for a little while longer, until Trixie pulls out her phone from underneath her and stares at the Wikipedia article with her mouth open, and Katya laughing loudly at her.

“I’m right, huh? It’s still airing.”

“Who the hell funds this still?”

“Mrs. Kasha Davis?”

“Right!” Trixie tosses her phone Katya’s way, who catches it and laughs again, doubling down on intensity when Trixie glares at her and then Katya raises her arms up in surrender.

“I’m sorry! Go ahead, what about her daughter?”

Trixie blinks at her pointedly a several times more but then her expression softens when she speaks again.

“Latrice called me while I was still in Wisconsin. Apparently, Mrs. Kasha Davis wants me to do her daughter’s hair. And her daughter’s best friends’ hair. And probably makeup too. There will be like… seven or eight girls there.”

“Trix, that’s great! They’re loaded, they will probably pay well.”

“Right? There’s a problem, though. Maybe one you can help me with?”

Katya tilts her head and can’t help but grin back when Trixie bats her eyelashes again, feeling her heart thump at the sight.

“What do you need?”

“They need a photographer. Apparently there’s a company who organizes these things and they usually send a photographer and a makeup artist in a bundle. And it’s hard for them to find a photographer on their own on such a short notice. So…”

“So if you don’t find a photographer, they will go with the company.”

“Right. I know you’re busy and you’re getting like a thousand jobs offer an hour but…”

“Trix, being booked one week in advance is barely a thousand offers.”

“I know! But you’re so good and all these modeling agencies are fighting for you, and I know teens are not your thing but…”

“I’ll do it.”

Trixie’s eyes widen, and her smile too. Money aside, this sight alone makes Katya think that hanging around teenagers the entire day makes it totally worth it.

“Really?”

“Yeah! I mean, they are loaded and I can probably get a rate as high as I get for weddings so…”

She doesn’t finish the sentence since Trixie has put the pancakes away and is pulling her down towards herself, her soft pink lips covering every inch of Katya’s face, causing her to burst into laughter, over and over again. Doing what she loves to do and with the girl that she’s pretty sure she’s in love with? Who would say no?

The two of them stay on Katya’s couch for the remainder of the morning and early afternoon, cuddling and watching Casablanca that comes on, parting reluctantly only when Trixie says she needs to go into Honey even though it’s her last day of paid leave and it’s her birthday. Since Katya needs to work on engagement photos she’s taken the day before, she lets her go, but not before spending fifteen minutes kissing at the front door and agreeing to see each other that evening for birthday celebration, and the next day, when Katya would pick Trixie up from work and go with her to test out a new lens in the park nearby. As she watches Trixie get into her Uber while she smokes on the window, Katya wonders what she did in her largely miserable life to finally get so lucky.

.

.

.

“No, go back. Details bitch.  Is she a top or a bottom? What does she like? Did you talk kinks yet?”

The connection on Violet’s side is not really the best, and Katya has to squint at her own phone to recognize that the pixelated blur is in fact her best friend, calling her from the other side of the continent, after having blown up her phone when Katya told her Trixie began spending almost every night for the past week.

“Vi, I can barely hear you, what?”

Maybe she is trying to avoid the subject altogether now, at least until Violet is in the same room as her, since sleeping with Trixie is… different. She is not just a tinder hookup or a casual dating thing that Katya had no issues talking about with her best friend in the past, all details included. Now, she is afraid of sharing too much with the universe, fearing that the universe might yet again be a bitch and take it away from her.

Just that morning Trixie left her apartment to go to work, and she woke Katya up by dragging her to the shower and kissing the sleep away from her puffy eyelids, then proceeded to make them both coffee after which they sat by the window as Katya smoked. Trixie’s thumb rubbed her knee as they talked about their plans for the weekend. It has been surreal, more surreal than any other thing that had happened to Katya in the past year. Considering all the changes that she went through, this being the biggest one, it was a lot, and now difficult to put into words.

How can she even begin to describe the happiness she feels to get to spend every single free moment with Trixie when it seemed just like a distant fantasy only a month ago? No words could even begin to come close to describe how beautiful Trixie is, or how funny. How her nose scrunches lightly when she yawns over her cup of coffee in the morning or how she chews thoughtfully and looks into the distance when she thinks Katya isn’t looking. Anything she could say to Violet pales in comparison to the warmth in her chest when Trixie kisses her collarbone and talks sleepily before drifting off and the way her small apartment rings with the sound of Trixie’s absurdly loud laughter. Katya is happy, and it’s a scary thing to even fathom talking about.

“Fine, you don’t have to tell me now. Is it good at least? Is she good?”

The connection clears enough for Violet to see the wide grin on Katya’s face, the crinkles around her eyes visible even through the blurry video.

“She’s the best, Vi. I’ll tell you everything when you get back.”

.

.

.

“So, I want my hair to be wavy, but not too curly. I don’t wanna look basic, you know?”

Katya is barely holding in her laughter as Jean continues chattering on, giving precise instructions on how her hair needs to look like, the funny part being the way Trixie’s eyes are bugging out a little. Katya can see that Trixie is holding in an exasperated huff too, but nods along and keeps saying okay as the girl continues talking.

“And please don’t give Amanda the same hair as mine, she’s been trying to copy me for months.”

“Isn’t Amanda one of your best friends, dear?”

Mrs. Kasha Davis is sitting in the chair next to her daughter, flipping through the menu that the caterers have brought minutes after Katya and Trixie walked through the door of the gigantic mansion where the Davises lived. Her eyes lift up towards her daughter, a perfectly shaped eyebrow quirked.

“Mom, I told you fifteen times already, I have to keep Amanda close because she has the pull with the cheerleaders. But I can’t stand her, all she talks about is Justin Bieber and we all know he’s so 2013.”

Katya cackles at this when her eyes meet Trixie’s, and the girl looks at them in the mirror.

“What? You know I’m right.”

“You sure are.” Katya says amusingly, lifting the camera and adjusting the lens before she snaps a photo of the mother and the daughter, with Trixie fiddling with the scissors in the background.

Both Trixie and Katya woke up at seven in the morning to get everything ready for the Sweet Sixteen party, or at least the part they play in it, since Latrice instructed them both on what Mrs. Davis loves and doesn’t love, and when she saw Trixie getting nervous about her first big gig, encouraged them both that Kasha, despite being a rich white woman, has a kind heart and will tell them if anything is amiss.

They had no issues finding the house in the outskirts of Boston hours later and Katya expected to see swans in their larger-than-life front yard that had a fountain decorated with endless balloons and pink bows. Despite the kitschiness of it all, Katya appreciated how this girl’s parents went above and beyond to make their daughter’s birthday special. Jean, all teenager drama aside, is not as snobby as Katya expects most girls of her class to be, and she spent half an hour discussing photography with her before they sat down for hair and makeup.

Soon after they shit talk Amanda, the head cheerleader walks in with half a dozen of other girls and Trixie sits them all down and gives them catalogues to browse for hair styles they want, while Katya walks around, taking quick photos as girls get ready, of the tables and canopy set in the backyard, of the house and exterior decorations, and finally of Trixie.

The only dress code for the party is to incorporate something pink in their outfit, since that is the main color of the event. Trixie sure looks the part n her baby pink dress, slightly loose around her shoulders and flowy around her legs and reaching down below her knees. Her thick curls are pushed in a ponytail and makeup is as soft as one could imagine it being on a warm September day. She looks like she walked out of Katya’s wildest cotton candy dreams. Katya, in return, sports only a dark pink button up shirt that she matched with the black pantsuit, the jacket tossed aside as soon as they arrived to the house.

Katya feels smug whenever she notices Trixie swallowing every time she looks at her, and remembers how breathlessly she complimented her that morning when she saw Katya get out of the car to kiss her hello in front of Kim’s building when she picked her up.

She sees Trixie looking at her now, a curling iron in her hand and a little smile on her face that Katya snapped a photo of seconds before, and now has the wild urge to go over and kiss her senseless. Instead, Katya walks past her and squeezes Trixie’s hip lightly before she walks out of the spacious, bright-lit room and into the back porch of the house. Some of the guests have begun arriving already, mostly family members including older aunts and uncles. Mrs. Davis has told them that the main event would be after seven, when half of Jean’s school would be coming over for the party, but the afternoon was reserved for the older family members and friends of Mr. and Mrs. Davis.

Katya spends an hour or two walking between the tables, introducing herself to people who want to know her name, and taking photos much to the guests’ delight. Despite having initial reservations for an event like this, Katya realized that older rich white people are a goldmine for photography opportunities, and she has already given out a dozen of her business cards before she sees Trixie on the porch too, drinking something that looks like pink lemonade.

“Almost done?” Katya comes to stand next to her but only after she’s quickly snapped a photo of her, feeling her heart grow ten sizes when she sees Trixie pose playfully.

“Yep. Jean was right, Amanda talks about Bieber more than you talk about your Russian weirdo bands.”

“Hey!” Katya cackles and nudges her with her hip, sending Trixie into giggles too.

“They’re a cool bunch, though. They keep asking me if I can redo their makeup too.”

“How could they not? You’re the incarnation of their favorite Barbie they played with up until two years ago.”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“What? I think you look beautiful.”

Trixie’s blush is visible even in the slight shade of the porch and Katya is grinning proudly.

“God, if we made out right here, right now, do you think we’d look unprofessional?”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Katya!”

“What? You think dykes would be too much for the poor old aunt Shirley over there?”

“She’d fully be clutching her pearls.”

“Oh there you two are!”

The voice of Mrs. Davis makes them both jump a little and they turn around, their expressions slightly flushed and guilty. Katya prays she didn’t hear any part of the conversation they just had. But, even if she did, Kasha shows no signs of it.

“Trixie, dear, Jean is absolutely glowing because of your handiwork. You did a marvelous job!”

Trixie grins and Katya’s heart skips several beats. She’s so proud of her.

“I’m glad she’s happy with it. I only have two more girls left and I’ll be done.”

“Beautiful! Katya, we’ve agreed you’ll be staying here until nine, isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Mrs. Davis.”

“Please, darlings, call me Kasha. You’re making me feel old.”

All three of them laugh and Katya nods.

“Anyway, I’m here to offer you to stay for the party too, Trixie.”

“Oh you really don’t have to, I-“

“No, nonsense! You can keep Katya company and David ordered too much food for this amount of people. I insist.”

Katya and Trixie look at each other and Katya gives her a non-committal shrug, even though all she wants is to have Trixie around for the entirety of the day. It would definitely make the remainder of the party more bearable.

“Okay, I’ll stay then. Thank you. If you need me to help with anything-“

“No, absolutely not. You can finish up the hair and makeup, and I might ask you to touch up mine later in the afternoon, but the moment you are done you’re a guest like everything else here.”

“Thank you M- Kasha.”

“Oh you’re both welcome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I see my mother-in-law calling.”

Both Trixie and Katya laugh at the eyeroll and the wink Kasha gives them, and watch her trod across the lawn.

“Better go get Amanda ready before she cuts my head off.”

Katya laughs and takes her hand briefly, kissing it.

“Go. I’ll be out here. And bring me one of those lemonades when you’re done.”

The remainder of the afternoon goes by fast, and Katya barely has time to shove some of the food in her mouth while people call her from one side of the lawn or another, wishing her to take photos of them in different poses and with different family members and friends. It’s well past six in the evening and the majority of the adults are already tipsy and ready to dance, so the DJ is already in his spot too, forced to take requests of songs that range from Frank Sinatra to Spice Girls. When five minutes pass without anyone calling out her name, Katya decides to take a bathroom break while she still can, since the only people who like having their photos taken more than middle-aged people are teenagers, and almost a hundred of them are soon to start arriving through the door.

The bathroom offers a welcome silence and Katya feels her head pulsating a little bit, but she has to admit to herself that she is having fun, more so because she knows Trixie is going to join her soon. What makes her the happiest, though, is the fact that Trixie will be coming home with her later and they will get to snuggle on her worn out couch and talk to each other about the day they had.

Just as Katya flushes and goes to wash her hands, there is a brief knock on the bathroom door and Katya calls out that she’ll be out in a second. When she does open the door, she sees Trixie standing on the other side, the look on her face making butterflies in Katya’s stomach dance for the millionth time that day.

“Oh hi.”

“Hello.”

Trixie’s hand pushes her lightly from the door and back into the bathroom again, and follows her in an instant before she closes the door and locks it.

“I’ve missed you the whole damn day.”

“Me too.”

Katya wraps her arms around Trixie’s  waist and Trixie cups both sides of Katya’s face and leans in to kiss her – her soft lingering kisses that Katya returns eagerly, humming contentedly.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you all day.” Trixie mutters into the kiss and Katya kisses her again, and again, and again, until she’s backed into the wall and raking her fingers through Katya’s waves, the feeling of blunt nails against her scalp causing goosebumps on the back of Katya’s neck.

“Did I tell you how hot you are in that fucking suit? Holy shit.”

Katya squeezes Trixie’s waist in response, digging fingers there and grinding against Trixie’s thigh just a little, their mouths inches apart, both of them breathing heavily.

“Do you think it would be unprofessional if I bent you over in our client’s bathroom and fucked you senseless?”

That makes Trixie’s mouth fall open and she kisses Katya softly again, and Katya knows that she’s considering it. They both know it’s a probable thing that would happen if their kisses lasted for more than five seconds.

“Probably. Maybe we shouldn’t.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you can do that later tonight when we’re back at your place?”

“Sounds like a solid plan.”

Katya is the first one to rejoin the party, her neck still flushed from how easily worked up Trixie has gotten her, but her dark red lipstick is in place once again and her hair brushed out. There is an ache between her thighs for a while after, especially when Trixie comes to join her soon after with a hand on Katya’s lower back, but knows that they still have a few hours to go.

Taking photos of teenagers is definitely more work, since they ask to see how they look in photos every time they are taken, but they are also ready to go with Katya’s ideas of crazy poses, so Katya finds herself having a lot of fun. Both her and Trixie, who watches the entire thing unfold, are invited into several selfies too an hour into what turned into a photoshoot with the cheerleaders.

It’s well past nine when Katya packs up her camera, and when she comes out to the lawn that is now lit up with hundreds of small lights and with a crowd consisting now mostly of people under twenty, save some of the adults here and there, she finds Trixie surrounded by several girls who keep asking her about the hair products she uses to make her curls be the way that they are. Once Katya reaches them, Jean begs them both to stay a little bit longer to join the dancing since the band has taken over, and Trixie is the first one to give in.

An hour later Trixie and Katya are still on the dance floor, and no one seems to care that they are dancing with each other and not talking with anyone else aside from several older cousins who are there more out of solidarity for their cousin’s birthday wishes more than anything else. When the fast-beat song changes to something slower, Katya pulls Trixie close and Trixie leans her head on Katya’s shoulder as they sway slowly.

“This is like a prom I never got to have.”

Katya pulls her head from where it rested, leaned on top of Trixie’s, in surprise.

“You never went to your prom?”

Trixie rolls her eyes but laughs.

“Of course I went to prom, but I never got to go to one with a girl that I liked.”

Even though Katya knows that Trixie likes her, she’ll never get tired of hearing it.

“Did you go with a guy, then?”

“Yep, Bob. We were the only two out gays in the entire school so no one really wanted to do anything with us.”

“I’m sorry, Trix.”

“It doesn’t matter, we had a lot of fun. And I get to redo it with you now.”

“Does this mean I forgot to buy you flowers and that I’m a horrible girlfriend?”

Trixie lifts her head up to meet Katya’s eyes and only by the expression on her face does she realize what she just said.

“So that’s what you are, huh? My girlfriend?”

Katya grins wider, and kisses the small crease that formed in the corner of Trixie’s eye as her smile grows too.

“Yep.”

“Cool. Then I’ll need those flowers.”

“I’ll get them for you as soon as we get out of here.”

They leave the party shortly after that, and Katya does stop in front of a little flower shop whose owner knows Katya from before, and who gives her a bouquet of lilies that she passes on to Trixie when she gets back in the car.

“Are we having a little Imagine Me and You moment now, Katya?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Imagine Me and You? The best lesbian movie ever made?”

“Never heard of it.”

“And yet you know that Sweet Sixteen is still airing? I’m breaking up with you immediately.”

The ride to Katya’s apartment is full of their bickering and Trixie’s loud laughter, and Katya can’t remember a better day at work in her entire life. A part of her wishes that she and Trixie can do things like this forever. She loves photography, and getting to finally do it for living is a dream come true, but now she wants to share that dream with Trixie. As she watches Trixie kick off her heels and stretch before she joins her on the couch, Katya thinks that it’s probably too early to even bring it up. She knows that Trixie has been planning to leave Honey for a while now, but Katya doesn’t want to put a strain in their very new relationship by proposing something like that. They have time.

An hour later they are still on the couch, their carefully applied lipsticks gone and their clothes discarded on the floor. They barely spoke anything in the hurry to get each other off, the tension between them building for the entire day and released only when Katya fucked Trixie until her thighs shook and then gladly returned the favor. Katya felt so exhausted afterward, especially with Trixie cuddling into her side, both lazy to get up, shower, and go to bed. The silence breaks shortly after, and Katya didn’t notice that Trixie has been chewing on her lip nervously for at least ten minutes before she speaks.

“Katya?”

“Yeah?”

“I have to talk to you about something.”

“Shoot.”

“Remember when I went back to Wisconsin to be with family couple of weeks ago?”

“Yes, of course I remember.”

“I went to see Pearl too.”

The name Pearl, spoken out of nowhere, and in that context, sucks all of the air from Katya’s lungs and suddenly she can’t breathe, so she sits up. Trixie, who was leaned on her, sits up too, bringing the blanket to her chest, suddenly feeling exposed. Katya opens her mouth once, both unsure of what to say and not understanding why this is being brought up now, then closes it. Then finally:

“Okay.”

“I didn’t know how to tell you back then. I wasn’t sure where you and I were going and there never seemed to be a right time. This is also not the right time, but I have to tell you anyway.”

This exact moment not being the right time is an understatement. Katya’s jaw is clamped shut, but all she can do is look at Trixie, and wait. After all, she has no idea what seeing Pearl means in this case, and wants to give Trixie the benefit of the doubt. Shiver passes down her spine, but it has nothing to do with being cold.

“And I know you and I didn’t talk about it at all, but our breakup went really badly, and I was afraid that I hurt her so I – I needed to fix it.”

Met with Katya’s silence, Trixie seems to falter a little bit, but she continues talking.

“So Bob and I went to Chicago and Pearl and I met over lunch and talked about… everything. Nothing happened obviously, I knew I didn’t love her that… way, and I knew I liked you, so I wanted to do the right thing and bring us both closure.”

A part of Katya, that has been under considerable strain and threatening to snap since Trixie started the conversation, loosened up and she let out a small breath. Nothing happened. Yet, there is an irrational part of her that’s still hurt about it. It’s not something she can help.

“Why are you telling me this now? That was almost a month ago.” Her voice too is slightly strained, but Katya tries not to project her insecurities on Trixie. Her insecurities are what ended every single relationship she’s had so far. There weren’t many.

When Katya didn’t snap, something that Trixie apparently expected, the corner of her mouth pulled into a small smile and she shrugged. Despite the rollercoaster of emotions that Katya went within two minutes time, she can’t help but want to hug Trixie when she sees her this way.

“You called me your girlfriend tonight. I was afraid that mentioning Pearl would fuck all of this up, and these past couple of weeks have been the best I’ve had in my life.”

“Mine too.”

Trixie’s face seems to light up at that.

“And tonight you called me your girlfriend and I became aware that I can’t hold this back from you because I don’t want to hide anything from you, Katya. I really, really like you and I want us to work. More than I want anything else.”

“Trixie…”

“So I had to say it. And I see that you’re upset and I’m sorry. I just wanted you to know and not find out from one of our friends or something.”

Katya reaches out and takes Trixie’s hand for the millionth time that day, and pulls her close, meeting in a kiss as she closes the distance between them, and Trixie readily responds.

“Thank you for telling me.” Katya speaks when they pull away, and Trixie leans into her side to snuggle her again.

“Thank god. If we had to fight it would have killed me.”

“How did Pearl take it?”

Trixie lifts her head to see that Katya’s looking at her, and they smile at each other.

“She was surprisingly okay and appreciated that I wanted to clear the air. She’s going on a big world tour and said it was for the best anyway.”

“And you’re okay? You guys were together for a long time.”

“Trust me, Katya, I’ve never been more okay with anything in my life. I have you.”

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#twist of fate #katyahzamo #lesbian au #slow burn #mutual pining #trixya #soft smut #rpdr fanfiction

[myblackmare]

i feel so stupid. i'm a beginner and all of the info on the internet and from my trainer (who trains with a grand prix rider) confuses me. i'm not anywhere near capable of asking for contact from a horse, which makes this situation worse for me. i hear "on the bit" "in the bridle" "contact" and i've read the german training manuals but everyone seems to have their own definition or what theyre looking for. when i hear "frame" i know it's a red flag. but i just.... need clarification somehow. idk

You’re not stupid! We all start somewhere and we’ve all got to learn sometime. 

Ok, sooo. I feel like a lot of the time these days “on the bit” has just become something that means the horses head is on the line. Where, if you took the photo of the horse and drew a vertical line down from its forehead to the ground, it’s face would all sit directly on that line. And seemingly, the horse can be as disengaged (meaning it’s back is hollow and it’s dragging it’s back legs) as it wants and no one cares as long as it looks good.

When I’m looking for a horse to “frame up”/ “come into the contact”/ “come onto the bit” I start at the hind. In my opinion you want the horse to be moving forward with energy, but not rushing. In the trot for example, it will become an upwards rolling sort of motion that pushes you with it but doesn’t become out of control. You should be able to feel the push of the horses hind with the strides. And even in collected (slower and shorter strides), working (medium movement, this is mostly what we school with in the beginning) or extended (long and faster) it should be the same upwards power from the hind. The horses hind legs should be able to reach under them so that their hind hoof lands in the hoof print where their front leg just was. That’s called tracking up. Then, I look for the horse to round their back as much as possible. Of course this is personal for each horse (for example, Lily has a very long back, and has issues with her back from an accident years ago, meaning that even if she lifts and rounds her back as much as possible, it won’t be the same as a horse with a strong and short back). I couldn’t for the life of me tell if a horse had an engaged back/core for the longest time. The way I learnt to remember it was that if the horse was disengaged in the core/back they would have a big scoop (again, depends on the structure of the individual horses back, sometimes it’s hard to pick) from the hip down to where the rider is sitting. Like a curve in a banana, or a smiley face (just meaning that the direction of the curve is at it’s highest with the hips and then drops drastically to where the rider sits, only to rise again at the withers and neck). And if they are disengaged you won’t be able to see any of their tummy muscles working. If they are engaged there should be little to no drop from the hips to where the saddle is. (Of course, depends on the horse’s conformation, Lily’s looks dropped still often because her back is so long, but for her built and health she would still be considered on the bit or framed up). That dramatic drop and scoop in the back disappears and if you turn that banana upside down (so the ends of the banana are pointing to the floor) that is sort of the basic idea of how a rounded horse should look, that sort of semi circle that comes from the hind and lifts their whole body from their in a nice round shape. Also their tummy muscles will be lifted and engaged to help lift their back and support the rider. So you should be able to see a little line on their stomach where their muscles are working. 

Then I’d move onto the neck and head. By this time, if everything else is going well, the horse would pretty much be in frame already. When we ask for a horse to frame up into a “on the vertical” position we want the poll (the spot between their ears) to be the highest point. The horse should not be broken at the 3rd vertebrae (you’ll be able to spot this, if you look at a picture of a horse broken at this point, a couple of inches back from the ears there will be a bit of a sharp bend, and then the rest of the neck will be flat until the poll, and then the head will be tucked back from that bent area further back). What is “on the bit” and “framed up” is different for every horse, but should all follow the basic premise of their nose/face being on that vertical line (or slightly in front of it) that I spoke of earlier. If the horse is slightly too tipped out (meaning their nose sticks out too much) I would hold the outside rein as a support and open the inside rein, and squeeze my reins gently (like a sponge) until the horse comes more into the contact, and into a more correct frame. But this is pretty much the last step for getting a correctly framed up, rounded horse. (At least in my opinion).

Though it’s important to mention that a horse can be on the bit in more than just that “classical dressage frame” (where the head and neck is elevated in the position we see in full working movements). A horse can be on the bit when they are in full stretch. Because they are stretching downwards and seeking the contact (that comes from you and your hands/reins, you should be able to feel their mouth in your hands but they shouldn’t be tugging on you). In the stretch their nose may be more tipped out because they’re stretching, but they should still not fall behind that vertical line too much.

Frame isn’t necessarily a bad word or a red flag, it’s just that these days a lot of people misuse the term and it leads to incorrectly ridden horses. 

I hope that was what you were searching for and that it all made sense, sorry it’s so long. I ramble a lot. Feel free to message me if you have any other questions. :) xox