#this is awful. not because i don't wanna like men (its just sexuality idc) but because i don't want to prove my mom right

[kaeyapilled]

. (tw heterosexuality)

#i am having the worst sexuality crisis of my life. i was so sure i was a lesbian but there is this One Guy.. #he makes me feel things. i think. but i cant categorize them #relationships w men sound.. unappealing.. if i think about it generally #like a random man? sounds weird. or maybe not. i dont know. i havent even had a first kiss lmao i dont really know stuff #but him............oh...........hes so funny and cool and nice to everyone. his hands are pretty (weird thing to notice but ok) #he explains math to me and i cant focus because he's too close. thats so MORTIFYING I THOUGHT I WAS A DYKE #but at the same time 12 year old me was having heart palpitations around my first girl crush and shit #and he hasnt made me feel anything that strong so far. so. idk. but also i was 12. so idk #well okay generally speaking women make me feel much more doing way less #there was this occasion where this girl who i always had a mild thing for but never did anything about it just came up to me #at school #and just. haha lol i had a dream about you last night ;) #i am not joking when i say i felt weak in the knees. she was smiling in a like playful way so i was gonna make a joke but i could not #because i was going to pass out from being too gay #this guy (or any other guy for that matter) doesn't seem to have the power to make me feel like that #..........am i bisexual with a female lean or whatever people say. or am i experiencinf the worst case of comphet of my life #this is awful. not because i don't wanna like men (its just sexuality idc) but because i don't want to prove my mom right #😭what if it WAS a phase #but who knows. mentioning the girl who dreamt about me kind of replaced the thoughts i was having of him for a bit there #i miss her she was nice. well sort of. but i was never involved in the drama so who cares fr. she graduated last year #anyways sorry for breaking character. tumblr user kaeyapilled is lore dropping