#you couldn’t pay me enough money to play shuffleboard

[imagine-organization-xiii]

Want to go on vacation so I have to live vicariously through this blog - org xiii going on a cruise?

oh my god let’s get this chaos rolling - I’ve never actually been on a cruise before but I would absolutely love to go on one

if i had drawing skills i would totally draw some of this because it just cracks me up to no end

EDIT: i added some stuff about Xigbar because i forgot about him lmao

-

Xemnas: “Whoever is humming the Jaws theme song is going to get their ass kicked.“

They’re all sorely in need of a good vacation, something that they can all enjoy where they can do their own things but not be bothered by each other. Someone mentions a cruise in passing and some of the members are doubtful at being stuck on a boat with one another for a long period of time, but... Well. The boat is large and there’s an open bar and a WATER SLIDE so it doesn’t take long to get everyone on board with the plan.

They know that a lot of rooms on cruise ships don’t actually have windows, but Lexaeus, Marluxia, Vexen, and Xemnas all demand rooms with windows. Lexaeus and Marluxia can get a bit seasick if they’re in the bottom of a boat without seeing where they actually are, Vexen is high maintenance, and Xemnas isn’t having anything less than the best.

They don’t plan on paying out the ass for rooms, so they all decide to share. Roxas and Xion get their own room that’s connected to the room shared by Vexen and Lexaeus. Lexaeus, who was originally going to share with Xaldin, was forced to switch when Vexen refused to room with Xigbar. Xemnas refuses to share with anyone other than Luxord (because Luxord spends most of his time out and about and is actually rarely in the room), while Saix shares with Axel. Larxene and Marluxia cling to one another  while Demyx and Zexion claim the last room with a window because Demyx wanted to see the ocean.

Vexen: Okay, kids, just remember to stick with your buddy when you’re on the ship and that if you go overboard, none of us are going after you.

Zexion: I have a question.

Vexen: Yes?

Zexion: What happens if you go overboard? Do we just not go after you?

Vexen: If I go overboard then it means I went overboard on purpose to get away from all of you.

There are so many things that you can do on a cruise ship and everyone is ready to stay far enough away from each other while they still enjoy themselves. Even if they’re attending the same event, chances are that they won’t be sitting near each other. They have ONE night where they all sit and have a nice dinner together, but otherwise it’s free roam for each and every one of them.

The younger ones spend most of their time lounging in or around the pool, playing around on the water slides and generally causing a lot of chaos. Roxas and Xion enjoy swimming and playfully splashing each other with water when the life-guard (and Saix) aren’t paying attention, and they all enjoy trying to tip Lexaeus and Xaldin over when they decide to join them at the pool. Axel and Demyx manage to literally carry and drag Zexion out to the pool sometime during the second day, and the young magician actually manages to enjoy himself even though he’ll never admit it.

Demyx: Zexion, stop being a sourpuss and come terrorize people at the pool with us.

Saix is also at the pool, only so he can keep an eye on the others. It’s a good thing he does because chances are that someone is going to get in a fight with someone else - probably Larxene, when she and Marluxia decide to do some sunbathing - because some asshole thought it would be cool to hit on Larxene when she’s relaxing and that’s just going to be hell for everyone.

Some mornings are for GETTING PUMPED. Not wanting to get lazy just because they’re on vacation, Xaldin and Lexaeus do spend a bit of time in the fitness area, lifting weights and waking themselves up before they enjoy themselves with other activities.

Near the gym is the SAUNA/steam room! You can bet your ass that Axel will NOT be working out but he’ll definitely be in the steam room a few times during the trip. Demyx will join him on occasion and they usually get a big kick out of all the old people that end up there. Overall, they just like sitting and chilling like two bros

SPA TIME. You can guarantee that Marluxia and Larxene are spending a lot of the time in the spa with giant mixed drinks - mimosas in the morning with fancy breakfast treats, mai-tais in the evening. Facials, manicures, pedicures, massages, everything they can think of until they’re limp and pliant and lazy. Xemnas joins them one day for a back massage, much to Marluxia’s chagrin, while Demyx joins them when they get facials.

Saturday night brings a casino night in the main area of the ship, a tiny competition that has Luxord all but shaking excitedly with energy. Of course, he sweeps the floor with the competition during a giant poker match, and wins a nice $2500 prize for coming in first place. They’re all shocked and extremely impressed at how good his poker face is. He spends a good amount of time in the casino area during their cruise, but takes frequent breaks to go swimming, to the spa, or to tan on one of the Adults-Only decks with Xemnas.

All of the eating areas are a big hit. The younger group tends to go for the tiny food places by the pool, where they can find burgers, curly fries, hot dogs, tator tots, and giant slushies. The older ones like the sit down restaurants. Expensive wine, lobster with a delicious garlic butter, top rated filet mignon with a specialty seasoning, and live entertainment - usually someone playing piano, occasionally accompanied by a singer. Overall, they both agree that they have wonderful dining experiences.

Holy shit, when I tell you that Vexen somehow ends up entering and WINNING a shuffleboard tournament? It takes the whole organization by surprise. Somehow he just ended up on one of the decks and was observing some of the skilled, veteran players, and one of them asks if he’d like to give it a shot. He does and DAMN, he’s like an expert immediately????

Vexen: *comes back to the room he’s sharing with Lexaeus with a giant trophy in one hand and a margarita in the other*

Lexaeus: Uh... what’s that?

Vexen: Hm? A margarita, what does it look like?

Xemnas is the one who mostly sticks to himself the whole time. He tries a little bit of everything. Swimming, the hot tub, reading on a chair and getting a deep tan, relaxing at the spa, getting a bit of a work out, etc. He’s a fancy bitch who enjoys the fancier things in life, and holy shit they paid a LOT of money for this cruise for 14 people so he’s absolutely going to get his money’s worth.

Movie night is every night on a cruise ship, so everyone will gather together and lounge either in the pool or on one of the deck chairs and relax as a movie is played on a giant screen. It’s a good way for them to do something together without bothering one another. Axel and Saix help pass out sodas, icee’s, and popcorn before moving to lounge in the hot tub before the movie begins.

Xigbar has made himself known to the waitstaff on the ship for two reasons - he has good taste in alcohol and he’s an incorrigible flirt. He doesn’t mean any harm with it and he has no intentions of acting on it any further than a few playful words, so everyone knows not to take him seriously when they spot him flirting with a cabana boy or the staff in the gym.

Xigbar also has a secret night time routine, surprisingly with Saix. One night, Xigbar just couldn’t sleep and he found himself walking around the ship at three in the morning, when it was quiet and most people were asleep and the halls were almost empty. He ended up on the bow of the ship and it was AMAZING to look out on the water and the sky and just enjoy the sea breeze. He did the same thing the next night and found that Saix had beaten him there. After some quiet glaring, they mutually agreed just to enjoy it and not bother one another.

Finally, most of the younger group barely get any sleep. They order room service like crazy for various midnight snacks and have fun in the arcade beating high scores on all of the games they can manage until they all end up dragging themselves back and passing out in a single room together.

#i am also in dire need of a vacation my friend #organization xiii headcanons #kingdom hearts headcanons #organization xiii