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ready-to-obeyme · 4 years

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[OM!] Mother!MC with Demon Brothers + Luke Headcanons

Scenario: Instead of a younger human, the Devildom welcomes a mother (with a 3-year old son in tow) into the exchange program.

intro + headcanons about how the brothers would interact with her

no romance… just uwu

bonus how the brothers would treat the son (why son? Perhaps because I too want a son)

Female reader!! (MC is referred to as she in this post)

bonus character: Luke :3c

I JUST WANT THEM TO FEEL LOVED OK

Lucifer wasn’t prone to believe in fate-- and the beginnings of the exchange program was just another reason why he did not. He let the breeze-- the wind pick a human applicant for him; and if he had gone through every application (though he wasn't completely sure he'd be sane by the end of it all) maybe this situation wouldn't have happened.

"What do you mean you can't be one of our exchange students?" Diavolo inquired, more curious than anything, an amused smile gracing his lips.

"I have a son," she said hesitantly. And there he was, peering around at the assembly room in his mother's arms that were wrapped protectively around him.

A mother and her human child, Lucifer thought blearily. One could only imagine what would happen if both of them remained here. (Which is why he never cut corners in anything he ever did ever because the one time he does, things go to shit. Damn Diavolo for enabling him.)

Lucifer

disgruntled by the adjustments made to accommodate a human child and his mother; mf will he ever rest

probably has to worry about babysitting duties delegated to his brothers

however, pleasantly surprised by MC's calm demeanor and reliable personality; finally another competent person in the house he doesn't have to really pick up after

...actually adores her and her son

accidentally does things to please her without really realizing it and hates the slight disappointment or worry he sees when he goes through sleepless nights or lashes out from anger

doesn't remember the last time he's been chastised, but he's as embarrassed as he can be when she fusses over him

the hell coffee she makes for him every morning and the snacks she brings during his breaks makes him lowkey wanna cry-- he doesn’t know how to deal with a selfless, unconditional love

is used to being a single parent ngl so taking care of her son is kinda… easy especially if the son is compliant

finds himself pressing a kiss to his forehead absently and catches himself only after he's done it (bonus points if Barbatos takes a pic of it and sends it into their trio gc)

“Barbatos, please delete this picture.”

“Oh, are you sure about that?”

“................”

ah he's attached, and so are his brothers, which kind of perturbed him a little but he’s kind of in the same boat after a short week or so

(if there was one brother who had a chance of harboring feelings for a mother mc, it’d be Luciiiiiiii uwuwuwuuwuuw; what can I say? He can’t resist the milf)

eventually, he opens up to her about the war-- because if there was any human he’d trust with his secrets, it would be MC

Mammon

he's crying

he doesn't think anyone has ever talked or held him as gently as MC

similar to the game, absolutely adores her and can't even lie about it

ok jk he's still a tsundere, but blushes every time MC looks at him with a knowing look because he can't lie convincingly enough that no, the head pats dont feel nice and no, he's just eating the lunch she made because it'll be a waste otherwise, ok?!

Her son definitely thinks he’s related to Mammon

Definitely the first one to accidentally call her “mom”

But hey don’t blame him-- he’s weak to how MC looks at him endearingly as she brushes hair out of his face motherly, like he can do no wrong

Nothing can compare to how Mammon feels when MC tells him she’s proud of him

feels legit guilty when she calls him out on his habits of stealing things to the point he remembers her voice when he tries to do it again-- basically his conscience ngl

she's like a cold hand to his feverish forehead, a cooling balm to the burn on his hand

when she defends him from his brother's insults, swears he'll protect her and her son

on that note, adores her son too and her son adores mammon!

surprisingly (or not) good with kids and treats them well; plays with them, very lively and dynamic

takes babysitting pretty seriously-- makes him consider the fact that he might actually want to be a father in the future if possible

not that he doesn’t have reckless endeavors with her son... they just end up okay so no one is none the wiser until it shows up on someone’s devilgram or spoken about through Barbatos/Diavolo

Leviathan

Honestly doesn’t know how to to react

A little miffed tbh that he finds it so easy to talk to her about…. Everything???

When he enlisted her (and her son) to get his money back from Mammon, did he expect to rant to her about all his animes and gush about his figurines to her because that was one of the first time someone’s allowed him to indulge in his hobbies and listen patiently?

No, and now he’s crying

And the fact she gently addresses his self-deprecating comments and urges him to see how she sees him (smart, witty, forgiving)---

Will probably do anything for MC and anything she says at this point; the pact is just a formality LOL

Listens to her and genuinely thinks the things she does for him is in his best interest

Had a hard time knowing how to deal with her son for a while, simply because he doesn’t know what he could do to actually entertain the child

Then finds out he could literally put up TSL or any of his favorite animes and the kid will watch it-- and ABSORB

Levi might as well be the kid’s best friend at this point-- dubbs him ‘Henry’-- which is really the greatest compliment MC thinks her son can get from him

Honestly volunteers to babysit him and proceeds to spoil him rotten

Satan

Slightly annoyed at how motherly she is at the beginning-- he takes her care and actions as if she treats him like a child

Finds it frightening how soothed he feels when he’s around her

There’s something about an older, calming presence that saps the anger from him and makes him feel like he can be himself around MC

Surprisingly the second person to accidentally call MC by “mom” probably an hour after he makes fun of Mammon for doing it (lol karma)

isn't one to seek out her attention like with levi, mammon, or asmo but is pleased whenever he does have time to spend with her because she always seems to have insight on everything and a strange wisdom that all mothers apparently do

has a lot of late night talks with her about her life, her career, what it's like having a child

often finds himself asking her for advice, and even if she doesn't have the answer, he always comes out of it thoughtful and clear minded

always willing to take care of her son; delights in reading him his favorite books and enacting the exciting scenes

always treats him like an adult to the point that their conversations are really funny to listen to

"So would you say the author's intent of the blue door was to convey the agony of grief?"

"I like the color blue."

"As did the protagonist; hm, you bring up a good point."

the son is Satan's partner in crime against Lucifer

"It's better if we do this, isn't that right?"

"Yeah!" MC’s child says, happily chewing on his favorite snack that Satan always gives to him and honestly not caring about the conversation at hand at all

"See? He agrees with me!”

And Lucifer just sighs bc he always loses in these arguments and Satan is unbearably smug

Asmodeus

similar to Satan, finds her presence in Devildom to be very pleasant and calming

she never seems to be disapproving of his past times, and Asmo is endeared by the way she never fails to say "stay safe" or "have fun!" or even "do you want me to leave the front lights for when you come back?"

the little motherly ways in which she shows she cares makes Asmo adore her

loves taking her shopping; always has a good time just gossiping, trying new clothes, or having a girls night out with self careeeee

when her son tags along, loves to have him dress up too or try on make up and it's too adorable NOT to post on devilgram

pretty sure MC's son has trended on devilgram before-- but that was the first and last time because Lucifer yelled at him for advertising the fact there was a human child in Devildom

which Asmo thinks is silly because he's pretty sure the caption under the selfie of the three of them ("So adorbs! I've only had MC's son for a day, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in Devildom and then myself. Teehee!") would have deterred any demon from laying a finger on him

When Asmo has him for babysitting duties, always loves to bathe him and play with bubbles, morphing his hair into an afro or an equally fashionable hairdo

actually very attentive to the child!!

Beelzebub

Not much changes from how Beel treats MC, but does view her actions in a more motherly manner

I think one thing that would change is that-- considering MC is a mother of her own child, is actually very protective of the brothers and sensitive to their changes in moods

When Lucifer gets angry at Beel and Luke, MC is furious and furiously protective, not yielding one bit or hesitating to put herself in front of them because of her instincts-- Beel has never admired her more

Physical strength has always something he can easily understand, but it is the strength of wills and of bravery that surprises him every time

After Mammon and Satan accidentally calls you “mom” Beelzebub has no qualms with calling you by mom either-- I mean, what’s the shame in that? Everyone already thinks of you as their mother-figure anyways

MC helps him deal with the loss of his sister

With MC’s child… You know that one meme with the two ways dad deals with kids: one is softly kissing his child on the forehead as he sleeps and the other is carrying his kid by the leg with one arm

Both of them is Beel

carries the kid around in the weirdest ways sometimes, including on his head, in one hand like he's holding a trophy, upside down (dw the kid thinks it's funny)

main transport is on his shoulders though; thinks it's kinda cute how the kid puts his arms around his head

wouldn't love anything more but to nap with him, but Beel is afraid of hurting him when he sleeps

Is the softest with MC’s son--- he’s not used to being the older brother, so he takes this responsibility kind of seriously

Always makes sure the food that MC’s son eats is appropriate so he tastes/tries it first… and sometimes ends up eating all of it, but he always manages to succeed in feeding the kid so it’s all good

Belphegor

Wants to hate MC so badly the first time they meet when he’s in the attic

He’s supposed to HATE humans, damn it-- why the hell is MC trying to be so motherly and understanding, huh?? How dare she make him guilty after he lied to her like wlkjaflksjfkjasdlfj

Out of all of them, seeks MC the least; whether it’s from guilt or the fact that her presence reminds him of the things and resentment he used to hold against her

Takes a little more cajoling from MC to talk to her and explain how he’s feeling so they can move past it

He’d rather die than let anyone else know that he teared up when they talked about Lilith and how he felt about everything; urges Belphie to talk to Lucifer and seek reconciliation with him individually (because it may be a family problem, but the feud was between the two of them, don’t you think?)

Finally gets the redemption arc he deserves and feels a lot lighter knowing that everything that has happened is now in the open and he’s ready to start healing

In avoiding MC after the whole debacle, Belphie ends up spending more time with her son because he thinks Belphie is fascinating and Belphie has no clue why

Similarly to Satan, treats the kid like he would anyone else but does find it amusing if the kid chases after his tail like a cat

Always ends up napping with him whenever MC’s son takes a nap-- after all, what’s easier than looking after a kid if you’re BOTH asleep?

Keeps an eye on him by putting a hand on his torso as they nap together

Uses MC’s son as an excuse to not do something, especially when Lucifer tells him to do something he doesn’t like to do

Honestly the son is a part of his arsenal-- he knows how weak everyone is for this kid (and so is he tbh but more lowkey) so cute pics of him is like… currency (Mammon WISHES he thought of this first)

Bonus:

Luke

MC practically adopts him the moment she lays eyes on him-- how could she not? Luke may as well be her other son

Luke can’t say no, especially after she saves him from Lucifer

Definitely calls her mom by accident and the brothers tease him-- only for him to retort back that “don’t you ALL call her by mom?” and they shut up lol

Simeon still gets to tease Luke though heheh

Really really really tries hard not to refer to MC as mom, but it slips out sometimes and no one even bats an eye

Baking together is such a family bonding moment

Treats MC’s son most like his younger brother almost automatically and makes sure he doesn’t get into any trouble while he’s taking care of him (though he does anyways)

Kind of likes the responsibility of babysitting MC’s son; makes him feel trusted

(MC takes the cutest pics of them together when they fall asleep; starts thinking about maybe having another child wouldn’t be so bad)

#obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me belphegor #obey me beelzebub #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me luke #shall we date? obey me!

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juno-of-the-sky · 3 years

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mystical / koutarou bokuto

every night, you come to the forest to practice violin. tonight, bokuto happens to be there.

tags: violinist reader, gender-neutral reader

word count: 1,706k

a/n: hope you like this one! this was my first time writing bokuto that wasn’t extremely self indulgent (although it kind of was with the violin) so he might be a little out of character sorry!! i am actually a violinist myself so like,, if you ever wanna talk about violin my ask box is always open teehee

Bokuto had a habit of finding himself in forests in the early hours of the morning.

Mostly, he liked the atmosphere — he had told this to Akaashi once, but he couldn’t understand his response because he started rambling quietly about nature being one of his biggest inspirations, the importance of being somewhere with a good atmosphere, more art student-esque lingo.

Akaashi had actually pointed out this particular forest to him once — a dismissive, “Pretty trees,” and then the continuation of walking. Something about that forest had caught Bokuto’s attention, so, at a time he was definitely supposed to be asleep, he climbed out of his bedroom window armed with a flashlight and planned to find a nice tree.

He found something much, much more beautiful.

At first, the violin music coming from a few feet away startled him. He was considering running off like this was a horror movie, but something drew him to it — so he navigated through the brush until he finally came across you.

You were dressed in a black hoodie, the hood pulled over your face so you weren’t visible, but that didn’t matter to Bokuto — he knew that you had to be gorgeous. How else would you make this beautiful music flowing into the air from the violin you held against your jaw? You were turned toward a stream, playing a concerto from memory — you had been practicing it for so long that your fingers hit the proper fingerings just as easy as breathing or eating. He was utterly entranced and engaged in your performance, despite the fact you didn’t even notice he was there. It wasn’t until you stopped abruptly and he impulsively started clapping that you whipped around and screamed, your bow falling to your side.

“Oh — I’m sorry!” Bokuto said immediately, starting to feel guilty about scaring you. “I didn’t mean to shock you!” Oh my God.

You recognized his face, and somehow that was the most horrible feeling in the world. You’d seen this boy before, at school; you’d never been more thankful to be wearing a mask that probably made you unidentifiable.

“I—It’s fine,” You managed to say, still recovering from your stomach falling to your feet. “H—How long have you been here?” He tapped his foot against the grass as he looked up at the trees, pondering this. “Um… good question! Maybe three minutes?” “Oh.” So he hadn’t been watching your whole performance. That was good — if he’d watched the entire thing, you’d think you would just keel over and die right there on the grass. This was humiliating, having this cute boy you knew from school discover you practicing violin in the forest at 2 AM like some kind of horror movie antagonist. Even as you stood there, violin at your sides, you felt your face start to burn up.

“You’re so good at violin!” Bokuto gushed, not helping your rapidly rising temperature. “I felt like you were putting some sort of spell on me; it was incredible!” “Aw, you’re too sweet,” and it was true because you weren’t that good at violin. You’d only started a year ago, and despite your teacher telling you that you were a natural, you never believed her. “I just have a lot of motivation to do this,” You’d respond quietly most of the time to compliments. In truth, you didn’t like to take compliments. It made you feel vain — but he looked like the type to cry if you didn’t take his flattery, so you just smiled underneath the mask.

You glanced down at your wrist — it was getting late. Even though it was Friday, you still needed to sleep.

“I should go,” You murmured. “Um… thanks for sticking around.”

You elbowed past him. As you went, he called out, “I’m Bokuto!” “It’s good to meet you, Bokuto.” And you couldn’t see it, but he beamed. It’s a shame he was so caught up in his own wonder that he forgot to ask you your name.

The next night, Saturday, Bokuto waited for what seemed like forever until you finally came through the brush, your violin case in your right hand and phone on its flashlight in your left. Usually, you came to practice in the dark, but something tonight told you to bring a light.

His excitable face being the first thing you saw when you laid the bright light on the grove made you scream and stumble backward.

“I’m sorry!” He was above you in a second, holding out his hand to help you up. “I didn’t mean to scare you!”

“It’s fine,” You choked out, getting deja vu from this whole situation. “Um… did you come to...?” “I came to watch you again. I couldn’t get that out of my head all day!”

Your face heated up again and stayed that way as you tuned your instrument and played a quick chord. The sound, bright and pure, echoed throughout the grove. Perfect.

As you began to string away mindlessly, Bokuto asked, “How long have you been doing this?” “Violin for about a year,” You responded. “Practicing here… also about a year.” “It’s almost mystical here! You’re like some kind of forest spirit.”

You couldn’t help a smile — you enchanted him so much, and you didn’t know why, but it was endearing. You didn’t think of yourself as anyone extraordinary; he was probably halfway convinced you were some river deity.

You finished the song, your mind still somewhere else, and put your violin down as Bokuto clapped excitedly, a one-man audience. “That was amazing!” “Haha… thanks.” And for the first time, you didn’t feel so reluctant to take his compliments.

Bokuto kept coming; night after night, you’d go to the grove with your violin to find the gray-haired boy sitting on the ground waiting patiently. You’d make small talk while you tuned and then play something— sometimes it was new, sometimes it was something he’d already heard. But he never got tired of hearing that bow drag across the strings.

On the third night of the third month of doing this, as you tuned your violin strings, Bokuto asked a different question. Usually, he just asked you about the activities of the day, or you let him talk about something that happened at volleyball or something Akaashi did— but tonight, he seemed more interested.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Bokuto asked suddenly. You paused— you had never told him your name, had you?

After a bit of silence, you reluctantly responded, “(Y/N).” “I like your name! It suits you.” Bokuto’s compliment made your cheeks heat up— with delight or embarrassment, you didn’t know. All you knew was that you liked Bokuto. You liked his presence; you liked talking to him, no matter how childish he could be somehow; most of all, you liked when he watched you play the violin with his glittering eyes. You liked him a lot.

“Thanks,” You murmured. “I like your name, too.” “Thanks!”

The next night, Bokuto asked you what you looked like.

“I…” was your flushed, stuttery response. He wanted to know what you looked like? But wouldn’t he recognize you from school? Somehow, that was your worst nightmare. “Um, I look okay, I guess.”

“How long is your hair?” Tripping over your words, you managed to whisper your hair length and color to him. He nodded like it was a profound secret, saying, “Mhm!”

You were about to say something new when he said, “Can I see?” “What?!” “I wanna see your face,” He said with an innocent beam. “I’m sure you’re perfect!” “Oh, trust me, you don’t want to—” “But I do!” His voice was pouty now, and it made your heart thump against your chest so hard you almost worried he would be able to hear it. Should you do it?

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone about here,” You demanded, pointing a finger at him. “If you do, I’ll never come back.” Bokuto held out his pinky at you, a gesture you realized much too late that he was making a pinky promise. How long had it been since you’d made a pinky promise? Regardless, you hooked your pinky on his and squeezed. It was set in stone, at least if you still followed the rules of an elementary school.

Shyly, you hooked your left hand on the top of your mask and your right on your hood and pulled them down simultaneously.

Bokuto gasped— a gesture which you just took as a compliment, but then he flapped his hands and said, “I recognize you!” Your heart sank straight down to your shoes. “R—Really?” “I knew I knew someone named (Y/N)! I’ve seen you watching practice sometimes!” It was true that, over the past few weeks, you’d sneak to his volleyball practice once or twice a week and watch the practice going on with your homework binder open next to you. It was funny how Bokuto thought you were mesmerizing when he could just… play like that. You could never take your eyes off his hands— each day, you ended with homework hardly touched and heart swelling times a million. You liked watching him.

“I guess I kinda…” You admitted shyly, tugging on a strand of your hair that was exactly how you described it to him. “Came to watch you practice…”

“I’m honored,” Bokuto said with starry eyes, and you felt like he actually meant it. “Honored that such a lovely person would take the time to watch me!” “To you just the same,” You giggled. “Honestly, you don’t know how much I’ve looked forward to playing violin for you.”

He sat down on the grass, making you feel the need to follow. The next thing you knew, your hands were linked together. Your hand fit against his perfectly, almost like your palms were molded to fit flawlessly together. Nobody had ever held your hand like this… you weren’t about to complain.

“Maybe we can skip out on violin for tonight,” You whispered, a suggestion you never thought you would say. “This is… kind of nice.” Bokuto’s response was immediate— to pull you against his chest. It made your eyes widen, but… you liked it.

He didn’t say anything, but you figured that he was perfectly content to follow your suggestion and hold you in this strangely mystical forest until the moon sank low under the trees and the dawn was there again.

have something you’d like to see me write? send me a request!

#actual writing.💫#koutarou bokuto x reader #bokuto koutarou x reader #bokuto koutarou #koutarou bokuto #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu fanfiction #bokuto x reader #bokuto fanfiction #the sacred five.💫

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natsubeatsrock · 4 years

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Dearest Friends

I want to talk about Nalu more. I know, what a shock. As if I need an excuse to talk about this ship. But there was a line of reasoning I wrote about a few times and want to follow. (Not to mention if I don't flex now and then, I let the new crowd of Nalu haters win.)

I think that Nalu could have been a good ship. I don't know that any ship I consider of less merit than Gajevy (which is the best of the Big 4) could be seen as a great ship, especially from the guy responsible for Harelie (still an underrated top tier ship). But as far as "friends to lovers" go, this would have been a good take. I don't even put it past Mashima to bring them together during the sequel in some wat that will fall along "party lines".

Even as I'd argue for other relationships in most scenarios being better, the cool thing about Nalu is that they genuinely grow to care for each other. It's jarring to go back to the old arcs of Fairy Tail and see some of the things Natsu and Lucy do. I know that something, something groping (I'm trying to be nice) but it's hard to see Natsu outright call Lucy useless or even treat her being captured nonchalantly as happens in a few of the early arcs. And for her part, Lucy has warmed up to (some of) Natsu's crazy antics and has, at some of their best moments, been the one planning around Natsu, even as he does the same.

Speaking of which, another cool thing about the ship is that they have fought together. Action series are no stranger to ships involving characters that can and end up fighting together. But I can't think of too many examples of ships that fight as much as Natsu and Lucy do. More often, people fight each other and end up shipped by fans regardless of whether it makes sense to or not. Of course, that might be a problem with the media I'm currently consuming but, I'd love to see more of this is media (hopes in Yona of the Dawn/recommendations).

The funny thing about Nalu is that others in the series do hint at them potentially being a couple. Mashima doesn't pull the trigger on them, but the characters in the series tease at the idea that there might be more to their relationship than even they believe to be true. One of my favorite chapters in the series, “Natsu and Asuka”, even almost has them kiss. (inb4 “but that’s an omake”)

What is especially interesting and helpful in thinking about this is that amazing quote from Mashima regarding another favorite chapter of mine. He described his writing of their dynamic as "more than friends, less than lovers". They have a great relationship that has a weight and importance similar to a romantic relationship, but it expresses itself as a platonic friendship. They are friends who ought to stick together no matter what.

Now, if it sounds like I'm turning a new leaf and shipping Nalu, it isn't. I have always believed that Nalu works at its best when it is a platonic relationship. Of course, there are issues with how their relationship plays out - issues that go beyond "simple problems that happen with imperfect humans." (Sorry I broke into your house again, teehee.) However, I have tried my best not to rely on that as an argument.

Though, on this side of the last chapter, a rather annoying pro argument for Nalu has gained traction. Apparently, Nalu did become canon in its own way. Rather than having clear romantic canonization, as many argue the rest of the Big 4 do, they became canon in a way that feels more in character for them. You know, because it would be weird to show a couple is canon with a kiss or having an obvious confession like a normal couple.

As you can imagine, I have roasted this aspect of Nalu arguments within days of that chapter coming out. (People were making that argument back then and I found it stupid then.) I don't consider Nalu to be canon and I have numerous arguments why this is a bad argument. However, I don't think I've talked about what I'm about to enough. Part of that, I'd like to think, is because I've had time to think about the series and its ending as a whole.

I feel that the idea that this is a kind of secret confession is an unfortunate misreading of the situation. It's been said many times that friendship is the gateway to romance. From my perspective, this is dangerous to leave on its own. To be clear, a good romance should involve an obvious level of friendship (can't say from experience) and a good friendship can become a romantic relationship (again, not from experience). But the vast majority of friendships you will likely be in aren't going to be romantic in any sense.

The thing that always gets me in these ship discussions, especially as someone who writes about this stuff all the time, is that it's always hard to swallow that pill when it applies to your own ship. I can do that for Nalu, but if this was someone else's post on Graytear, I would have personal issues with them and their conclusions. I get that there's a level of personal interpretation that matters when this comes into any and all shipping.

But, like, when the series creator says that his current writing of the ship in question isn't exactly romantic, that should mean something in this discussion. (inb4 "but muh death of the author") I feel like the fact that they haven't clearly become a romantic couple means they aren't a couple yet if they're even ever going to become one. There’s a difference between not liking what canon gives you and ignoring reality and this whole line of argumentation reeks of the latter.

What gets me the most about this argument is that this current state of Nalu is probably the end goal of a perfect friendship. Gaining a friend who will be with you forever? Who wouldn't want that? I certainly want something like that, even if it isn't romantic. Heck, there are (probably) advantages to that kind of friend being platonic over a lover. I’m not saying that romantic relationships can’t be expected to last forever? I’m wondering why people think friendships can’t also last forever as friendships.

In Conclusion:

That Nalu and Lucy consider each other to be their closest friend should be amazing in its own right. For all the issues one can have with their dynamic, it should be great that they can celebrate their friendship. This isn't a friendship complicated by weird rivalries or coming from different worlds. They met, grew close together, and will hopefully grow old together as friends.

#anti nalu #i'm back #AND I'M PISSED OFF #AT!! EVERYONE!!#this is tagged properly #don't @ me #no cuts today #trying this out #is it wrong that i have a rebuttal ready for this #it's not really a rebuttal #i had that post ready for other things #it just seems to answer the other things

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jcmorgenstern · 5 years

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3x12 “review” (aka whining)

Okay so 3x12! First the things I liked, so this doesn’t come off as a gigantic whining list of things I hated. (I feel kind of bad I didn’t do a 3x11 review because I actually really liked that one, but I guess I have more motivation to whine than anything else).

readmore for length and sanity.

So things I liked:

Luke and Jace interaction! Though the pacing was absolutely insane and I absolutely refuse to believe that the Clave has the infrastructure in place to take detailed barometric readings in the MIDDLE OF NOWHERE SIBERIA, so detailed that Jace can easily pinpoint exactly where the apartment was. Like I wouldn’t believe they have that kind of detail in rural Iowa, let alone a place that’s colder than balls.

That last point was all whining.The Morgenstern sword!! Y’all have NO idea how long I spent being mad that Valentine didn’t have it in the first two seasons. It now seems a bit odd to introduce it now considering Valentine didn’t in fact ever have it, but whatever. Also Clary being like “fuck Morgenstern weapons” was kind of funny considering her kindjals are waiting at home.

Magnus’ storyline. Though it’s kind of weird and rushed and confused, I’m just glad my man is getting some real focus on him as a person rather than a love interest or idk some overblown “son of Edom” thing.

Cain was, I admit, a really cool and interesting concept, and I already really like Pasha!! I hope he’s continuing to get better after his surgery. Don’t love as much how they’re mainlining Lilith as the Biggest Bad Ever and a Whole Evil B*tch (more on that lovely term of endearment later).

Mirek was really cool, kind of had to laugh at the “demon middle class.” Can’t help but wonder if the “status quo” thing was a deliberate political joke or not. Either way, Jonathan has never met a structure he doesn’t want to overthrow. Does the Clave spark joy? Apparently not.

MELIORN IS BACK!!!!! And wants a threesome, apparently.

Jonathan peevishly being like “I forgive you for trying to kill me, btw” and Clary just rolling her eyes and ignoring him.

Jonathan’s fucking GAAAY. (Or bi. pan. whatever. You do you. All I’m saying is THIS BITCH RAINBOW). I do not care what the intention was, that’s what I’m choosing to get out of it.

Things I didn’t like:

the plot of this episode is pretty much enough material for an entire season. They compressed it so much people are calling it a filler episode. Jace and Luke figure out the secret of the apartment (which is untraceable), go to Siberia, figure out Jonathan is alive, find Clary and rescue her and that’s only about 15 minutes of footage overall. That could be spread out over 15 episodes.

On the Simon side: they find the first fucking vampire, become his new bestie, get the only thing in the world that could rid him of the mark without any sort of price or even really having to ask, they get back into Faerie without any problems, Meliorn takes them right to the Queen despite knowing Simon has a weapon of death on his face, she agrees without argument to unmark him not even knowing if he’ll explode or what, the mark is off in about 14 seconds, the FUCKING DRUG PLOTLINE IS BACK AG A. I N. And then rose petals. That could have been the entire SEASON.

No Maia. (I know she’s in the next ep I just want to complain).

It’s also weird because it seems like Malec is progressing on normal time and the other two story strands are progressing on some extreme kind of fast-forward. It gives you all kinds of whiplash. If there was any kind of thematic overlap or even an attempt to connect the strands thematically it might work to ground the other storylines but it. Does not.

I hate that the apartment is Lilith’s and not Valentine’s, and that apparently it can only go to a few select spots now. NOT. THE. POINT. Point = missed.

And onto the things that bothered me the most: the whole treatment of Jonathan and Clary, and the Sizzy. For which I need an entire section to bitch.

Jonathan and Clary: why god have you abandoned me

* Ok so honestly, I had to go and check to see who wrote 3x11 and 3x12, because it had to be different people. 3x11 was by Todd and Darren, and 3x12 was by Alex Schemmer. Schemmer has only written one other episode in 3a (3x03), which explains to me why he seems to have missed a fair bit of lore. To me, the huge difference between 3x11 and 12, which basically deal with the same plot line (Clary kidnapped by Jonathan, wary of him, trying to escape) but in hugely different ways and different focus.

In 3x11, the focus is all on Clary. Her initial confusion, her fear, anger, the attempt to escape, the attempt to kill Jonathan. All shot from her point of view. She takes more action than he does—she runs away, she grabs the knife, she stabs him. He is mostly reacting to her, running after her, offering her soup and tea and trying to win her over. Even when he does talk, the scenes where he talks about himself are brief and she shares equal part in the conversation.

This makes sense, as she is the main character.

In 3x12, everything is about Jonathan. From the first shot everything is about him, the camera focusing on him even when Clary is the focus of the scene (i.e., when she’s finding new clothes—and was a shirtless scene necessary? Like we get it, you nearly killed poor Luke in a gym somewhere, thanks for the update). Every time he and Clary talk, it’s just him talking at her. “I forgive you for killing me.” Telling her she’s good at art. Telling her there’s an Institute nearby. Telling her he likes art. She can barely get a word in edgewise from the get-go, and it only gets worse on the hot chocolate “date.”

He says the whole point is to get to know each other better, but he LITERALLY talks about himself the whole time. Clary barely even reacts, just makes eyes at a phone. He doesn’t even seem to notice she’s not listening. Like guys, this is every bad tinder date ever. Then they go to to the antiques store, and even then she’s shuffled off—shoo! Get out of the scene!! Even the French guy interrupts her at every turn and she gets shuffled off like a sack of potatoes *again*.

Like don’t tell me Clary couldn’t kick his ass and then explain things to him when he’s pinned to the ground. It would be faster, safer, and if Jonathan shows up again she can be like “ohh he was threatening us!! Look, I beat him up to keep us safe!” and Jonathan would buy it hook, line, and sinker. Since killing people in broad daylight is ok, clearly the show isn’t worried about the realism of fighting in the streets.

And then she’s shuffled off AGAIN, and although the show clearly understands that being kidnapped and controlled by your dangerously unhappy brother who seriously has the creepy hots for you is a pretty freakin SCARY situation, it still shows all this from Jonathan’s point of view, teasing the “romance” of it all and giving us hehe teehee little slips of it (like the shirtless scene). And then when she finally is able to break free and actually do something, he yells “BITCH” at her and runs off, and she falls into Jace’s arms, completely forgetting to act like a real human being.

The reason why 3x11 works so much more for me is that Clary is at least an equal partner, and is given space to react and actually do things; in 3x12 they seem to take any excuse to bundle her off, keep her out of frame, mute her reactions. Jonathan and his feelings take center stage and suddenly Clary is a side character in her own story. 3x11 is more compelling because Jonathan is legitimately trying to win her over, trying to connect with her, personally. It’s obvious he cares about her opinions as a person and her as a person—you couldn’t replace her with a cardboard cutout and the scene would read the same. They actually interact. In 3x12 he’s just ranting at her about himself while she sits there. On no narrative level is there any sort of connection or interaction.

Like imagine the situation differently. They’re in art store, because lbr the real museums prolly wouldn’t let them shoot there, and Clary is talking to Jonathan about her favorite prints and artists. He’s listening, maybe a little too intently, maybe talks about a piece he likes and what it means to him. She looks unnerved. As they talk, the camera follows her gaze, and we realize she is trying to find someone’s phone to take it. She’s pretending, of course, but there is something charming about Paris. Jonathan keeps offering to buy her souvenirs, very awkwardly, trying to find something to please her. She picks something to make him happy. He returns from the register just before she can make a grab for someone’s phone and bolt for the door. He suggests they go to the cafe across the square. We cut to where they’re sitting down, she’s tearing into a croissant. Jonathan is wearing a “I <3 PARIS” cap, which is a bit jarring and distracting. Clary tells him it looks silly and he takes it off. He mentions in a forcedly offhand way that this is where he met Sebastian Verlac, and seeing her expression, quickly adds that he knows what he did is wrong. She says something along the lines of “do you, tho” and he launches into his monologue. She tells him that she liked Sebastian Verlac, even though she never met the real him. He looks happy at first, then seems to understand what she means, and his expression darkens. He tells her that that’s exactly what Valentine said she would say—that she likes Sebastian, not him. She looks disturbed at the mention of Valentine, and he takes the opportunity to tell her the whole thing about not wanting to hurt anyone and the whole thing being about killing Valentine.

And yada yada yada you get the idea.

Honestly the whole rescue felt very contrived—how convenient Clary has been posthumously pardoned one day before her rescue! And then Jonathan calling her a bitch—haha no thanks. The entitlement is uhh Not Great.

Anyway tldr @ Alex schemmer Clary is not a sofa pls give her some human emotion pls and thanks

Sizzy: why god have you abandoned me, the sequel

Honestly writing that entire wall of text wiped me out but ill try

The drug arc is the bane of my existence

Im so tired

I thought we’d be done in season 2 yet here we are at the end. Drug arc: 1. Actual character development: 0.

Why is this the ONLY plot line the show can remember or keep running for more than 2 episodes. WHY

Why does she even like Simon. They never interact. They don’t even know each other. Everything is just an excuse to get them together. it’s forced and leaden.

Playing her and Raph off as badwrong and her and Simon as rose petal romantic is weird af dude. Izzy has just been the tail end of male characters’ storylines for so long and I’m tired.

If they’d played it off as a sacrifice on her part I might be less mad, like paint her as a hero but it just felt like this was expected of her. It was romantic because there was nothing else to do and OF COURSE she couldn’t refuse!!! Please be realistic, she’s a woman. Think of herself even a little? Impossible!

Never mind she could have easily used her medical training to open a larger artery, pour the blood into his mouth, and iratze herself as soon as Simon was cogent enough to be out of danger. He was already woken up enough to drink the blood she poured from her hand. No biting/venom necessary. Lmao.

Stop treating Izzy like shit just to force a romantic storyline seriously lmao

Aaaaanyway lol that was like 20000000 words but those are my thoughts if you made it to the end you deserve a trophy or smth

#sh spoilers #sh salt #im really sorry i just. did not like.

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