#[ * rotshope. | TRAVIS/SWEETS. ✦ you're the sunflower; I think your love would be too much ]

[galaxiasus-a]

❛  i still repeat the things you said to me in my head.  ❜ › sweetrav referring to the first gross i love yous uwu

CONTINUE > LOAD FILE // FEELING THINGS (accepting)  

File Name: @rotshope

     Travis couldn't count how many times he's been in here. How many times he sat at that specific table until it was high past closing time. Where all that was left was him, Sweets, and any other Soul that decided to stay by after hours. Though for it to be more than just them was incredibly rare. Not that he minded any, not anymore anyways. He used to force himself to stick around, simply because he knew Sweets wanted him to. Back then he was a lot more wary- despite the change of scenery.

He couldn't count how many over night stays it took for it to become simply routine and nothing more.

     Perhaps they could have went home a while ago. But Sweets seems to want to stick around in the very small chance any stragglers come by for help. Travis rolled his eyes at the notion, but makes no complaints as he stays put.

A part of him wonders now if this was just an excuse to stay someplace so quiet, under the dim lights of the restaurant with Sweets snuggled right next to him. But Travis doesn't care enough to ask. He's in a better mood tonight than usual, even with the empty expression on his face as he flips through one of the random books he found during his time here. The only way to really know was he had his arm around the other, resting on his shoulder with Sweets using this chance to hold his hand.

He knew eventually that he will think far too much on it and separate himself. These moments never last too long. A side of him feels a bit of guilt from it, but he was willing to test his limits sometimes. Admittedly it's a bit hard to not think too much when Sweets is definitely trying to get as close to him as he possibly can because he had the extra room to do so.

Periodically he would feel a nudge to his side, making the ex-priest give out a small huff. Not a reaction meant to be negative, just something to relieve the heat in his chest. Remembering that this was a good feeling, rather than something to shame himself for. He can be cute... sometimes...

     "...Hm?" The quiet is interrupted by the sound of Sweets' voice. Already his attention is on him, a questioned hum escaping. He blinks down, already to find him staring back at him. He pauses briefly, mumbling something obscene under his breath as he looks back to flip through pages he's not reading anyways. He's not looking away out of embarrassment- not fully anyways. He's not going to be admitting that though.

"Of what?" He asks quietly, though deep down he already knew. This moment they were sharing was similar to that day. The calm atmosphere, Travis allowing Sweets to be this close to him for a longer period of time. Where it was just the two of them and no one more. Words only Sweets got to hear, for it was for him and him alone. Either right now reminded him of that day or he was just constantly playing it on the back of his mind. Either is very much possible.

I love you.

     Travis cringes at the memory. He doesn't regret saying it, not one bit. "It was long overdue, hm." He still felt the awkwardness that settled afterwards, despite the words having been said so confidently. It was weird to him. It was new. He's written those words before.. And truth be told, has said them to Sweets before. When he assumed he was far into sleep. In the middle of the night where Travis never thought he'd be able to hear him. A careless whisper that lingered in the air. It was easier this way. Similar to the written words, he thought no one would be able to hear it. He thought it was a safe zone to express his feelings and avoid the eyes of the judgement. Get better used to the fact it was all real to him.

It was far different when he said it out loud, to his face, knowing he was able to hear it. In truth he should have said it sooner, he wishes he had, but he can never forget the pure joy on Sweets’ face when he said it. As if he was waiting for years just to hear it. Why from me. Of all people. He remembered thinking, still confused to this day.

He hadn’t said it since then. He wondered if he should say it now. He wanted to, but finds himself hesitating, making that his answer. Not yet. If he was going to say it, he wanted it to be said honest and clear. There was much he couldn’t fix when they first met, so his partner deserved to hear these words in their best light. Without any hesitation, or fear, or grief. Just him at his most vulnerable. He can at least do that much for him.

     He finds himself leaning away from Sweets, just enough for the other to sit up for a brief moment. A hand reaches out to brush hair that had fallen across his other half’s face out of the way. Eyes move to scan his face every which way, but refuses to rest on his own for more than a second. Still very much shy, unable to deal with the fact that Sweets always looked at him with adoration. Love that he doesn't deserve. But love he can't throw away. Sweets won't let him.

"I still do, you know. Always have." But you already know that. He leans forward to press a brief kiss on the top of his head, letting him go so he can turn and return to his book. He felt slight pressure on his side as Sweets pressed against him again, making the corners of his lips turn very slightly upward. He can't say it. But he can show it. Sweets will always know what he meant.

     That's what he loved about him.

#u are sad #have some gays #KSDNFKSDNFKSDNFKS #rest well mel may the next trials and raids be easier :pray: #aleister will never get the satisfaction of getting travis to do this #after years of hard work #and stubborness #tofu is special he deserves travis being an absolute dumb baby #its 1am gn #[ * rotshope. | TRAVIS/SWEETS. ✦ you're the sunflower; I think your love would be too much ] #rotshope