#'Miles please she's outside the turbolift door just do it man'

[blightowl]

The perfect start to a Star Trek: TNG episode

Troi: Personal log. ...My mother is onboard.

Picard: *slowly stepping off a turbolift* I sense a disturbance in the force

#Star Trek TNG #episode: Half a Life #Deanna Troi #Jean-Luc Picard #Lwaxana Troi #Captain Picard #I love Lwaxana‚ her episodes on TNG and DS9 are some of my favorites #Picard's mental struggle between his duty as a starfleet captain to greet the scientist from Kaelon II #and his lizard brain instincts to HIDE HIDE HIDE #'Captain Picard to Chief O'Brien: I need to you to do a site-to-site transport and bring me to the transporter room' #'Uh Sir aren't you down the hall?' #'Yes. Can you do it?' #'Sir the scientist is ready for transport...' #'Miles please she's outside the turbolift door just do it man' #my blighty text posts

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

The One, Part 8

Jim Kirk x Reader

Warnings: angst.

Summary: It had been years since you had last since Jimmy. The two of you were highschool sweethearts, until you parted ways. After a horrible breakup with your two timing ex-fiance, you transfer to the U.S.S Enterprise. Finally coming face to face with the boy you left behind. Can the two of you work alongside each other in peace? Or will the past come back to haunt you?  The One Masterlist

“Sammy, look who came to visit!”

Amy rounded the corner with a bubbling little three year old in her arms and you let the strap of your book bag slide off your shoulders. Your eyes flickered over to Thomas, who was filming the visit on his holocorder.

You waved off Thomas with a smile and strolled over to Amy, eyes settling on the little boy. “Sammy! You’re so big now buddy.”

Amy bounced him in her embrace, “He was so excited to see his birth mommy, huh Sammy?”

“Y/N!”

The three year old’s voice was small and quiet as he reached out to you with his little hands. You smiled at Amy, who handed him over and walked over to her husband. The two of them watched from a distance as you held Sammy in your arms, tickling his sides as he cried out with joy.

“You like tickles huh, Samster, you do. Yes you do,” you nuzzled his face with your nose and he squirmed in your arms with laughter. You sat down on the couch and placed him on the ground, he stood in between your legs and smiled when you pulled out a small sketchbook from your bag along with crayons.

“Look your first sketchbook buddy, you can scribble all your dreams in it,”  you opened the book to a random page and handed him a blue crayon. He giggled as he started making swirls and little marks all over the page.

“Natural like his mother,” Thomas smiled from behind the holocorder and Amy nodded in agreement.

“He looks so much like you everyday,” she smiled warmly at you and your own smile faded as Sammy looked up at you.

Those sparkling blue eyes.

He looked just like his father.

You stared down the holo playing and you leaned back into your chair. In this video it had been three years since you had given Sammy up for adoption, you were 20 and enrolled in medical school, living on campus and trying your best to lead a normal life. You had officially moved to San Francisco right after the art program finished, your parents hesitated to let you go at such a young age, but you convinced them somehow. Guilt of keeping you around such a small town was the finally push to let their teenage daughter move to a large city and finish up her high school career hundreds of miles away from their farm. They did make the trip out for your graduation and to see where you’d be living on campus at the university, both were tight lipped on mentioning Jim, because you warned them not to. After that, life went on. You slowly buried Jim away from your thoughts and flew through medical school, applying for the Academy at the age of 23 and finishing your studies within three years.

You watched the holo continue to play before you paused at a small soft face with bright blue eyes. Although you were glad Jim knew the truth, there was still guilt. Guilt from keeping Sammy from him, because you had a relationship with the boy and you had long given up that choice for Jim. Turning off the holocorder, you jumped up from the seat and smiled down at the device in your hand, it wasn’t much to make up for 13 years, but it could be a start.

With the holocorder in hand, you nervously made your way to the Medbay. Leonard was looking over a patient but glanced over when he saw you walk in. He nodded to something to the right of you, so you followed his gaze and landed on narrow blue eyes. Your entire body stilled, wanting to back out in a huff but it was too late. Jim’s eyes were on you and his feet were walking right to in your direction.

“Y/N, I’m glad you’re here. We’re headed to Yorktown, getting some new orders and I put in your request for a transfer. It’s been approved, you’ll be free to go within a day.”

The way he spoke to you stung like a bee’s wrath and you smiled weakly at the man. “Sounds good, thank you Captain.”

Jim managed a tight smile and looked over to Leonard, “You’re welcome.”

He started to walk away, but you grabbed a hold of his elbow. “I know I do not deserve to ask this of you, but please Jim I need to talk to you.”

The man’s body betrayed him, because the touch from your hand had sent waves over his entire being. His eyes drifted down to you and he couldn’t deny the request. He motioned for you to follow him out the door, but your eyes flew to Leonard in panic. The doctor frowned at you and waved you off, so you turned around and rushed out of the Medbay to Jim.

Outside, Jim stood off to the entrance of the room and held his hands across his chest, waiting for you to speak. Taking a deep breath you forced your eyes to his.

“I know saying sorry will never make up for what I cost you, Jimmy. And I will gladly live with that guilt for the rest of my life. I had no right to keep Sammy from you, I was selfish and scared.”

Jim’s hard expression soften for a mere moment before returning to a stern poker face. “Why do you have a holocorder?”

“Oh, right,” you held it up to the man. “It has all Sammy’s files, his life. Photos, holos of birthdays, visits. Again this will never make up for what you lost, but maybe it will bring you comfort in knowing he has a great life. Great parents. He’s a wonderful child, h-he’s a lot like you Jim.”

Your heart was screaming out of your chest as hesitant fingers reached down for the device, “He knows about you?”

“Yes,” the guilt was so loud as you spoke, even Jim could feel it. “Amy and Thomas have been more than fair, generous over the years. Thomas was actually in the Academy for many years, but when they adopted Sammy, they decided to move to the country. They live in a nice town, both teach at a high school now.”

“Ironic,” Jim chuckled ever so softly. “You gave him up because you didn’t want to live a life in a small town, with some hick.”

If it wasn’t already broken into a million pieces, those words coming from the man you thought you were going to marry years ago, would have done the deed. Clearing your throat you dare to place a hand on his shoulder and feel grateful when he didn’t flinch away.

“I was scared, Jimmy. And I know that’s a lousy excuse, but it’s the truth. J-just take this, please. I’m headed out tomorrow and you won’t have to see me ever again.”

Slipping your hand away from Jim, the 17 year old girl in you longed for his embrace. The warmth that engulfed you in a whirl of heighten life. The way his body always seemed to fit so perfectly against yours, his mouth on the crook of your neck and his hands wrapped around your waist. His hair so perfect as you ran fingers through it and the way he laughed, the crinkles that surrounded his eyes. And as your hand left his body, you realized right then, it would be the last time you would ever be allowed to touch him.

Jim held the holocorder in his hands, his eyes fixated on the one thing that held everything of his son. His life was in his hands and he felt grateful that you decided to give it to him. Looking up to you, he watched you smile softly and he felt like a kid again, just as he always did when you were around. It seemed like even after all these years, you were always in the back of his mind.

“The tattoo,” he heard the words come out of his mouth before he could stop himself.

You froze and absentmindedly tugged at the sleeve of your uniform. “It was never about you, Jimmy. It was me. I couldn’t move on with my life, because it was a constant reminder of what I gave up.”

Jim inhaled deeply and looked away with gleaming eyes. Sensing that he was going to break down and knowing he would not want you to see, you excused yourself.

“I better go start packing, make a few calls. My folks are going to be happy to have me home for a while,” you smiled weakly and started off toward the turbolift, but turned back to Jim. “I sent Amy and Thomas a video message. I’m pretty sure Sammy’s going to be ecstatic to know his birth father is the famous Captain James T. Kirk.”

Jim chuckled and nodded, “His mother’s not so bad either.”

You held back tears and shrugged. “I don’t know, the verdict is still out on that. Have a good day, Captain.”

Jim walked to his quarters, where he could have some privacy. Once inside, he sat down on the edge of his bed and juggled the holocorder in his hands. A nervousness built inside his chest and he gathered all the courage he could summon and pressed play on the device. Instantly a video started playing and he recognized the young fresh face in front of him. It was you, sitting on some wooden porch stairs.

“And there is Y/N, sitting down relaxing on this hot day. “

You looked over your shoulder and smiled at Amy. “Come on Amy! I’m all sweaty.”

“Oh hush. You’re young and beautiful. I put Sammy down for a nap, he’s all tired out.”

Amy settled next to you and focused in on the sketchbook nestled on your lap. “Who is the looker?”

You laughed and quickly covered the page. “Just a friend from home.”

“He’s handsome.”

You shrugged casually, “I guess if you like the good looking type.”

The two of you laughed, but a sharp cry was heard from the house.

Jim watched as the holocorder flashed glimpses of the house, it looked bright and homely. And then as if a ton of bricks hit his chest, Jim came face to face with his son.

“Oh no, look who decided to get up! Poor Sammy, you want Y/N to get you?”

The one year old was holding onto the railing of his crib, his eyes were filled with soggy tears and he held out his hands to you.

“Come on Sammy, I know it’s so hot. Let’s get you outta that prison,” you reached for his little body and picked him up from the crib. “All better, yea buddy?”

You patted his pack as he rested his little head against your chest,  Amy stepped back to get a larger view of the two of you. Softly, you cradled him against your chest and rubbed at his back.

“It’s okay buddy, I got you.”

Tears ran down Jim’s face, as the holocorder zoomed into Sammy’s little pudgy face. He ran a hand over his wet face and couldn’t believe his eyes.

His eyes.

His son had his eyes.

“Do you smell that?”

Your eyes widen as you looked directly into the holocorder. “Samuel James Collins! Did you just poop while I held you?”

The video stopped and Jim held his breath. Holding back tears, he placed the device down and stood up from the bed. This was just one video of 13 years and a million emotions had captured him tight. But all the anger he had felt toward you, slipped away when his eyes fell onto the face of his son. A beautiful creation of life brought to the world by two crazy kids, that had no business doing so. Still, watching you hold his son in your arms, a mixture of sadness and relief washed over Jim’s heart.

With the anger subsided, he was able to see the clear truth.

You had done the right thing.

The right thing by Sammy.

The One Masterlist

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#The One Series #Jim Kirk x Reader #Kirk x Reader #Jim x Reader #Jim Kirk #James T Kirk #James Kirk x Reader #Star Trek AOS #Jim Kirk imagine #Captain Kirk #star trek fanfiction