#'use the force luke' in memoria. and that is an understanding of him she finds encouraging. but i think there's a balance.

[commsroom]

thinking about my friend @whats-a-terrarium's post about eiffel wanting to go out on a star wars reference (i.e. that he was going to say "i love you" to hera, expecting her to complete the reference with "i know.") and i fully believe that's true. i don't think he would say it so directly unless it was as a reference. (and i do still believe the framing of the scene itself is a meta reference, knowing that the writers were big fans of the new doctor who and the way it evokes "if it's my last chance to say it, rose tyler, i-") but, that said, it also gives me an opportunity to talk about something i usually don't.

eiffel's sacrifice in the finale is selfish. it's his autonomy, and his choice, and hera respects that, but she's the one who has to pull the trigger and wipe his mind, and he knows this, knowing all of her personal baggage about identity and memory. to then, if you accept this, follow that up with a confession-that's-also-a-reference, expecting her to complete it in someone else's words, regardless of the sincerity... that's also selfish, and that's why it resonates as characterization. i believe it's true because of what that signifies.

this is one of the main reasons i've always felt eiffel has to get his memory back - because that's a set-up, not a resolution. he's not cured of being doug eiffel, of his desire to escape himself, of his impulse to self-destruct, of his need to filter the things he can't say through the familiarity of narrative. the point of giving eiffel his memory back, to me, is that he is always himself, that self-improvement is a constant project with no reset button. eiffel has always had a problem with selective memory, and with using it to evade difficult conversations and responsibilities.

people often point out that eiffel seems more soft-spoken after losing his memory, but everything else aside: he literally runs everything in his brain through the filter of pop culture. imagine suddenly not having access to your primary method of communication. the language is there, but the context is not. the circumstances surrounding eiffel's memory loss will weigh on hera, and i think - in an inverted sort of way to constructive criticism - part of working through that is in eiffel learning how to communicate without that emotional crutch. he can get it back once he's done.

#i already said some of this to you saph but i want to say it here too. #i do think there's a sincerely nice part of it re: hera understanding what eiffel means in parallel to how she imagines him saying #'use the force luke' in memoria. and that is an understanding of him she finds encouraging. but i think there's a balance. #like he tries but he's kinda known for speaking more than he listens and i think there's. an interesting conflict to work through here. #in a similar way to how i feel like hera never actually calling him doug to his face. just in her mind. is a strong set up for #romantic intent. it's about breaking down barriers. personal or otherwise enforced. finding what's vulnerable at the core of a person #when all of those defenses fail.