#( this was stream of consciousness stuff and i'm sorry if it's awful lmao )

[shesboundtobruise]

Can you tell us a little bit about Lou's dad?

What's the best way to deal with generational trauma? By perpetuating it, of course.

Stanley Wolfe was born to a hard ass of a father and a fairly cold mother, neither of whom were exactly ready for their bundle of joy to arrive when he did. They made due though, meaning that they provided for him and raised him as they'd been raised. He was born in Goose Creek, South Carolina near where his father Louis, a Navy officer, was stationed. He grew up disciplined, fairly quiet, and always striving to impress Louis in every way he could, despite rarely being able to achieve that. This attitude led him to enlist in the Navy when he was of age, where he did not achieve a rank higher than Petty Officer, which did nothing to please Louis Wolfe.

Once he served and was discharged, Stanley went on to become an officer of the law, moving to Greenville to do so. There he met Ida Snyder, a local beauty queen who was a bit of trouble for the young man. He was drawn in by her beauty, of course, but what really attracted him to her was her sweetness, her carefree attitude, and how she seemingly did whatever it was she wanted. Despite the fact that she was very close to a few people Stanley would later keep tabs on as a police officer, he and Ida married after a short courtship. Louis didn't exactly approve of this relationship and didn't hide it, but he also made no real moves to end it, figuring, at least, it would end up providing him with a grandchildson he could dote on and who could be the future of their family since Stanley and his brother Daniel were fuck-ups, as far as he was concerned. And for years, Stanley and Ida tried to grow their family, with no luck and then the heartbreak of multiple miscarriages, until finally, a baby girl was born. Stanley and Ida were overwhelmed with joy when little Louise entered the world, but Louis, again, wasn't so keen on having a granddaughter, especially as the eldest grandchild. He never minced words about that, lording having two boys over Stanley's one girl, a girl, being stuck in some disgusting and idiotic, backwards world where having a male heir meant everything. While Stanley didn't necessary agree, his father's words and attitude beat him down enough to make him begin to feel bitter toward his wife and his daughter.

That's when the drinking began. Didn't matter that his wife was happier than she'd ever been. Didn't matter that his daughter, the little miracle Ida called her, was healthy and beautiful and everything a parent could ask for. Didn't matter he'd moved up at work and made it all the way to Sheriff of the county. Louis' disparaging and disappointed words did more damage than he'd ever admit and he drank to drown it all out.

A few years passed like this, and Ida tried to give Stanley everything he wanted, especially the son she sensed would bring a little more happiness to his life, but due to the complications of Lou's birth, she was unable to carry any more children to term. This crushed her and when Stanley found out, he wasn't exactly sensitive to this. He blamed himself at first, but then, later on, in a drunken stupor, he blamed Ida. That wasn't the end of his emotional abuse, unfortunately; simply the beginning, and she was also simply the beginning. Soon that bitterness turned on his daughter as well.

Lou was eight when Stanley first struck her. It was so sudden that not even he realized what had happened until Ida's screams pierced his eardrums. The girl had only been defending her mother, angry with him for making Ida upset. She'd only been defending her mother from him, the one person that shouldn't have harmed her, who shouldn't have harmed either of them.

This was a cycle that continued for years. Ida began to become a shell of the vibrant woman he'd fallen for all those years ago. Lou, trying to avoid any possible interaction with either of them, was merely a specter who rarely made an appearance and who floated in on the edges of his vision, until she was a gnat, an annoyance he'd stamp out. Ida tried to keep her family together, tried to bring peace, but when she realized she couldn't, she became a ghost, leaving this plane of existence physically only to continue to haunt the rooms of their home.

The pain of losing the love of his life was unbearable. Stanley blamed himself, how could he not, but all that guilt only added flames to the rage within him. Rather than taking his daughter into his arms and trying to comfort her or shield her from any other hurt in the world, he lashed out even more at her, harmed her more than he'd ever done now that there was no buffer between them to stop him. The physical abuse continued for a couple of more years before Lou put an end to it herself by leaving entirely, no note, no phone number, no address. She just ran into the night and never returned.

Completely alone for the first time in a long time, Stanley didn't know what to do. He traveled to London to see his parents, to beg for help, to find comfort with them, to no avail. Louis, even in his advanced age, looked upon his son in disgust and put the blame for everything in his miserable life squarely on his own shoulders. Stanley returned to the States a husk of man. Alone and empty.

It's been nearly twenty years since Ida passed and over a decade since Lou left him. He's still in Greenville, still in that home, allowing those ghosts to haunt him as his penance. He's tried to find Lou several times with little luck. He apologized the last time he saw her, but now? If he got a 'fuck off' in return, he'd die happy.

#rando calrissian ( anonymous ) #( ic. / && headcanon. ) #( you look back at your wasted life and you don't see me. / && lou and stanley wolfe. ) #( oooooooooooooof ) #( okay now the triggers ) #( death tw ) #( abuse tw ) #( suicide tw ) #( suicidal ideation tw ) #( suicide mention ) #( substance abuse disorder tw ) #( substance abuse tw ) #( ask to tag ) #( this was stream of consciousness stuff and i'm sorry if it's awful lmao )

[slime-stew]

i hate how reblog icon just goes away so the only way i know if i have reboggef is the little 'like icon but this is not enough because sometimes i do not know if if have just liked it or i liked it last momth so i apoligize if i just reblogged the same shit you already saw. then again thats all anyone posts anymore its all just tumblr post of tiktoks of tweets of facebook posts that got reposted to reddit twice and the jpeg is so fried it becomed burnt . i am in so much pain and i cannot sleep so hopefully a stream of consciousness will stop my brain from yelling at me. i dont like how the joke of "there's too many standards so we should make our own standard that works with all if them". in some ways this is how i feel about conlangs and numbering systems cuz they're kinda cool but i can barely speak english so a useless language hurts me on a deeper level. it feels like a waste of brain for me to even comprehend. if you don't use a language to communicate then is it language? why not say theway to conjugate your past tense is to piss really loudly. go crazy. actually there is that hat one i think called kay fop b or whatever who cares we're gonna die at some point and i dont want my longest lasting contribution to society to be some joke hat language. actually what happened to hats. we went from like fedora trilby and it all lead yp to beanies and shit. even baseball cap feels like a dying breed. shit is so itchy i hate how it feel i do not understand how people wear hats. maybe thats it but theres still so many of u beanie people. i am not the person to ask for fashion advice i can barely find clothes to wear on a given day sometimes. i got hella fat and now i feel terrible about myself and my appearance and none of my clothes fit. i got so many garments that have negative stretch like if i even attempt to fit in this it will break. i just wanna wear an infinite clothiny that i dont have to care aboit. just like a big gray bodysuit that makes me imperceptible. granted even when i was less chubby i didnt want to be percieved either so maybe i just dont like how i look lmao. probably dysphoria in there somewhere who knows i just feel so tired and lazy i dont got shit and i have nothin to feel good about so i have just put up with feeling snd looking like human waste all the damb time . i think they should make a new flavor of powerade thats like coconut or coconut lime kinda like that drink from sonic the ocean water. if it was coconut you could make it just light blue cuz theres no cloudy light blue powerade and that would look good. like one of those fortnite drinks they have in the jars that looks kinda tasty. if you made it coconut lime it could be cloudy green like that terrible cucumber lime gatorade. the last time they made new flavors of powerade was like summer 2021 and those flavors are discontinued now. but they only made zero versions of them so im not surprised if they did poorly. also they never make cool names like. Glacier Freeze. thats the berry orange one. Cool Blue is literally just orange or blue curacao flavor. Arctic Blitz was supposed to be honeydew watermelon but it tasted so awful and i love both of those flavors. even just like Fierce Grape is a cooler name but its literally just grape or whatever. Sorry i meant

Grape whoa this shit is neat i'm so glad tumblr has actual text markup options like lets go i love strikethru its so handy i use it on discord all the time too. in a way it somehow both useful as a serious and as a joking indicator but in very obvious ways... probably because i start them with "but" or "except" or stuff like that. i love that i can just type into this box forever and nobody will ever see it and its all just for me yippee! but at least i have the option and unless someone loves stupid walls of text nobody will be forced to see it. gordon freeman big naturals. gorgonzola freeman. spinda pokemon wearing jorts. who up playin with they zeebo. what ever happened to that gon go gab galab guy wheres his revival bring that energy into 2011 fr. wish i was better at chess but i'm so scared of other people so i only play against my friends and the computer. i was in the middle of typin out all this shit amd i was informed that there is a limit to paragprah soze but if u hit enter its chill. it goes away so i made a newline on Grape because its funny to put that there. i think we should work on milking funnier animals. we already milk nuts and rhey dont even have udders but like whats kangaroo milk taste like. i bet its all churned up and creamy cuz they be hopping all the damn time. actually its probably bitter and shitty snd the only reason joeys drink it is because theyre too young and small and crap poopoo to know any better. its like kangaroo buttermilk or kangaroo soylent. reminds me of that angry slappy the squirrel she said something about buttermilk i barely remember animaniacs but it was a good show i had that shit on multiple dvds. i wanted to try that new soylent because it is my guilty pleasure that i want the future to be at least slightly cool about eating stupid foods and not dystopian. 🎁 i seriously cannot believe that someone has ever licked their elbow. it probably has piss on it. luigis mansion 3ds remake. its crazy how most of thr star fox games are either just the snes game again or are some weird shit like adventure or guard. in a way counter strike is the same cuz theres just the first game and then a remake and another remake and then there's a different game entirely that was supposed to be the single player but its a new game. and then there's cs go which was at launch kinda like the second remake but with new shit? like they named the guns correctly and u can play on a l4d map and thry replaced the tmp. but now cs2 is basically a csgo update even though its look like a new game but u play through the csgo launcher and u play on the same dust2. so theres like 3 games but somehow we sre on counterstrike 2. chicken enchilada. thatd a funny trick to play on god. i bet they got some crazy ass soup on mars.i gotta wait so long to see the mario movie. i bet you could jist randomly generate memes by putting hip hop vocals over kevin macleod instrumentals and people woild eat that shit up. my eyeballs are stsrting to hurt goodnight tumblr or is it good morning? ive been typing for so long i cant help it

edit: metal gear solid 2. its good but 3 is better and should have been the Action Game for the ps2 at the smithsonian that shit is rad

[cavehags]

Live blog the book here, I'm so morbidly curious but I'd rather die than read if

okay so it’s… not a liveblog since i already read it but yes here are the highlights of THE GRACE YEAR BY KIM LIGGETT

warning for brief descriptions of many kinds of violence and sexual violence under the cut because kim liggett despises women and wants you to know it!

also sorry for my awful photos of my kindle screen

tierney james lives in a society where women have no rights

every year, all the 16-year-old girls are temporarily banished to the wilderness for a year. if they survive, a few lucky chosen ones among them get to get married off to men in town who choose them (the women have no say)

all women have awful lives. they aren’t allowed to congregate with other women. they aren’t allowed to dream or hum or enjoy sex. their husbands can have them banished or executed for any reason. all the girls and women have to watch other women get executed or whipped or punished in some way at least once a month on the full moons

men claim that women require constant supervision and discipline to keep them in line because they could be harboring secret magic. in theory, the point of the “grace year” is to give the girls a chance to burn out their magic before they come back to civilization

but the magic isn’t actually real, and at least the men who run the town are well aware of that

anyway. tierney sets out for her grace year

she discovers she’s unusually prepared to live in the wilderness because her dad prepared her – her dad is super nice and the narrative never considers for a second that he might be complicit in the harms done to these young girls :) so she does stuff like building rain barrels to catch fresh rainwater because the well water they’re supposed to drink has gross algae in it

but the other girls, led by mean ringleader kiersten, start becoming violent and bringing over the misogynistic rituals from their village into the grace year camp - like cutting off fingertips and cute stuff like that :)

tierney stands up to oppression so they kick her out of the encampment lol. bitches amiright? 

the fear with being kicked out of the encampment is not about having to find food and shelter from wild animals. the main fear is Poachers. so on the outskirts of the main society, exiled women are forced into sex work serving the husbands of the village (yup! really!). those women and their children make up the outskirts community. and the adult sons of that community become poachers – and their prey is grace year girls. poachers lurk around the grace year encampment for girls who have run off, and they try to murder and dismember the girls and sell their body parts back to the city. their body parts are then EATEN as fertility potions and aphrodisiacs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so tierney’s like real scared of poachers lol

except weird thing, this one poacher keeps saving her life. this happens twice

then it happens a third time but she winds up knocked unconscious. and she wakes up naked and strapped to a table with some dude using a knife on her

she’s real scared and assumes she’s being skinned alive, because that is what the poachers do! 

she’s too drugged to resist but over a period of weeks she regains consciousness enough to learn that he was just preventing her from freezing to death!!!! and the knife? well he was cleaning her wounds. with a knife. somehow that’s supposed to make sense. i’m not sure either.

they build up a rapport and i bet you know where this is going

she falls in love with the fucking poacher :) 

basically she develops sympathy for him when she learns that this PROFESSIONAL GIRL-HUNTER unfortunately LIVES IN POVERTY and therefore DESERVES HER COMPASSION

also poacher is a slur lol

it’s weird that she’s so forgiving towards him because she hears him talking to his friend and they both call women “it” lmao

but who am i to say what is and is not romance

here’s a little snippet of tierney falling in love with him :) 

and this is a weird aside that the book definitely did NOT need, but for your own edification, turns out that in the outskirts community, the men do have sex, but only anal

so anyway this nightmarish misogyny of the main character falling in love with a man who literally hunts teenage girls lasts for maybe a hundred pages

they have sex. even though tierney is likely to get burned at the stake if she returns to the village and her new husband discovers she’s not a virgin. so that’s pretty cool

but eventually tho, another poacher discovers that tierney’s lover is harboring prey and he threatens tierney by telling her he’ll kill her lover if she doesn’t return to the grace year camp right away

she does, because his safety is soooo important to her

again. this man hunts teenage girls

but back at the camp, the girls are super crazy still

oh but one thing tierney learned is that the well water they drink is poisoned and so she thinks if she can get them to stop drinking poison, and to drink from the stream instead, they might get better

see her poacher lover was soooo helpful

back at the camp, the girls are all freaking out that a poacher appears to be creeping around and stealing stuff. tierney assumes it’s the friend of her lover’s who threatened her. the girls at the camp want to just kill her as a sacrifice or something, but tierney convinces them to let her go into the woods to deal with him instead

she does find who was responsible. it turns out it actually wasn’t a poacher at all! it was a guard who she knows who used to work on her family’s estate. he’s a stalker and thinks all girls are whores. it’s not very clear what’s going on with him, but anyway, he dies

but then tierney gets back to the camp and omg the girls have killed a poacher while she was gone!!! tierney freaks out because what if it’s her boyfriend!!!!

it wasn’t, but she still flips out that they very wrongly murdered a woman-hunter

literally cannot believe it. i literally just cannot believe it

HE WAS GOING TO KILL THEM AND SELL THEIR BODY PARTS FOR PEOPLE TO EAT AS APHRODISIACS

BUT YEAH. THEY’RE WRONG FOR KILLING HIM IN SELF-DEFENSE

tierney has this whole awakening that the poachers are victims of the patriarchy too sdhgiasodghaisdg

her one friend at the camp convinces her to go back and find her poacher lover and live with him in the woods forever

oh yeah her sisters are going to get banished to the outskirts and be forced into sex work as soon as they get their first period. but it’s worth it so she can be with her poacher lover

anyway she goes back into the woods, but not before her main bully, kiersten, has a confrontation with ANOTHER poacher

yeah poachers are people too guys

speaking off poachers being human. her lover dies. he dies a hero, protecting tierney

so she goes back to the camp and makes up with the girls

put yourself first girl worry bout yourself

ANYWAY! their grace year is over and finally they get to return to the town! but there’s a roadblock before tierney can move into her husband’s house: SHE’S PREGNANT, AND SHOWING

yep! she’s been pregnant for at least four months. the book saved this news as a big reveal

no wonder her friend told her to go live in the woods with her lover forever

she is sure to be burned at the stake

and actually tierney is down to get burned at the stake because then she’ll be able to speak her piece about how she feels that the grace year is bullshit with a whole audience listening. (she notes that bodies take a long time to burn, OMG TIERNEY FIND A BETTER WAY). 

but when the village realizes she’s pregnant and everyone is like “BURN HER!!!”, her new fiance heroically intervenes and fakes this whole thing about how actually the baby is his and he wants to marry her anyway

tierney’s like, um, well i really wanted to get burned at the stake, but…….

that’s right. she decides to live and marry this guy all so the poacher’s family line can live on

anyway tierney’s sort of excited to be friends with her new husband but as soon as she tells him the pregnancy wasn’t from rape, he throws a temper tantrum and goes to chop down some trees to cool off

bummer

but all is not lost! she makes up with him and she realizes she can love both him AND the poacher lover

and the baby too, one presumes

tierney really has quite a good life for a society where women aren’t people, i have to say

anyway, soon enough she gives birth. in excruciating detail i might add

as soon as the baby is born, tierney realizes that all this time, when she’s been having dreams about this girl with a red birthmark helping her save her people, those dreams were about HER FUTURE DAUGHTER

tierney names the baby grace

she’s literally seventeen years old

and that is the end of the fucking book!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so to recap: men who buy women as sex slave wives? are actually kind and loving souls. men who hunt women and dismember them and sell their organs? also kind and loving souls. but teenage girls being fed poison water? those girls are bitches. tierney doesn’t care about them lol

also

in the acknowledgments

the author thanks elizabeth banks and universal pictures for optioning the book

please let this die in development hell i truly can’t take it

worst fucking book i’ve ever read

thank you goodnight

#the grace year

[musashi]

I'm gonna throw a series of random, stream of consciousness questions at you (sorry): Of the DTE chapters you've written so far, which has been the most fun to write? Has the process of creating this story changed your opinion/views on any characters? Where did you find inspiration for the dress in Dawn's chapter? I'm still in complete awe of the way you painted that picture with words. Gimme dat talent.

Oh shit I just noticed you posted an actual ask meme and I'm over here making up my own random ass questions. You can do with those as you wish lol

THATS OK I LOVE THIS?? its really thoughtful of you to make your own personalized ones... it makes me feel really loved!

Of the DTE chapters you've written so far, which has been the most fun to write?

i wanna say the bonnie one, because it’s the one i had the most ideas for going in (im pretty sure ven TRIED to throw a plot at me for that chapter and i was like......... i kinda wanna just write them chillen and thats why its one of like two chapters he doesn’t have author’s credit on lmao) my favourite part of it was the battle! i was really worried about writing a battle because there were SO many limitations on it and i had to make it still interesting. so when i figured out all the puzzle pieces of how to make it exciting and realistic, i was super proud. and while i was writing it i was literally on the edge of my seat as if i didn’t know the outcome, pff.

the butch & cassidy chapter is a close second because i was ACHING to write yamu for so, so long and i think it shows in how much love and word-weaving is in that series of flashbacks. 

Has the process of creating this story changed your opinion/views on any characters?

YES!!! OH MY GOSH YES!!!! i cannot at ALL emphasize enough how much it has changed my opinions on characters. there are certain characters i feel i can portray very well, but for the most part i don’t write based around ‘favourites’ i write to give everyone an equal bit of time in the limelight. so since i wanna be fair to everyone, i often end up diving into research about characters i don’t care much about, and over the course of that research i almost always FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM.

the biggest example is max, who was my least favourite traveling companion before. i didn’t dislike the kid, but he stuck out the least to me personally. about halfway through making sure i got the basics of his character down i was like... this kid is so funny? he’s got such sweet hidden depths? i love how much of a foil he is to ash style-wise, without being cold and uncaring? and then as it turned out i ended up tapping on a very subtle element of his personality that im 99% sure was meant to be a simple running gag and turning it into a huge part of his character & motivations. max took me on such a JOURNEY and now whenever i see him i can’t help but just be like there he is... my son who i am so proud of!!!

other honourable mentions: the kids from bonnie for the defense!! they were only in one episode and i’m so glad i chose to do stuff w/ em ‘cause they’re such cute COTD. iris iris iris!!! i always liked her but writing that chapter made me LOVE her, especially the scene where she mind-melds with goodra. on the flipside, i used to ADORE gardenia and think she was just a precious lil genki girl, but rewatching greenfields for chapter 9 actually made me think she was kind of selfish and manipulative. i still love her, but critically, pff.

Where did you find inspiration for the dress in Dawn's chapter?

i’m so genuinely surprised by the amount of people who are in love with that design!! that’s a happy accident, i guess, i never expected it to get so much love ;v;

iiiii basically found it the same way the rockets did, lol. i was thinking about things that HAD to happen in dawn’s chapter, and Pikari Gag was right at the end. then i figured whatever her design was, what would make Elesa love it would be that it was a perfect representation of Nimbasa. i was like wouldnt it be funny if dawn going pikari was what won her the show..... ok so make it sparkly, thats good i like holo glitter........ WAIT SKYSCRAPERS. NIMBASA NIGHTLIFE. THEME PARK. CITY LIGHTS. YES!!!

ven’s alternate suggestion was a dress kind of inspired by Lusamines that was Black and White (Ha) and i really loved that! but i was like whats more revolutionary after a region of black and white than to find out there’s rainbows beneath the surface if you look hard enough?

#again thank you so much... these are so thoughtful and fun.... #dteblogging #jessicarocket #wendy answers