#((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me)

[n3ongold3n]

Ever since i saw the thongTM i could not stop thinking about this 🐳

#käärijä #häärijä #khäärijä calendar #diary bit coming up in the tags bear with me since this is #also my diary kind of; this blog #this thing has fought me every step of the way - and it shows i know #but i needed at least /some/ tiny little crumb of standing up for myself against my own defeatist thoughts #not just drawing. just. in general there are so many tiny and medium obstacles to accomplishing tasks that i just feel #like such an idiot for not just getting rid of the obstacles and moving on #at the same time i know how very unfair this kind of thinking is towards me since i #literally have the neurodivergence of cannot set priorities for my life or coordinate several things unless under strong duress #and then i feel sad for not even living my life unapologetically #((and disappointing jere :') - you have not read this that would be way WAY too embarrassing for me) #and yes i know you shouldn't trust yourself after - what was it? - 19:00? Well. If I didn't have to struggle until 3 pm to get through #the wall of anxious paralysis we wouldn't have that problem but here we are #anyway. off to bed. for what it's worth #got to figure out how to electronically validate my ID :''') and/or call the job center - fun! #my own stuff