#Hopefully I'll be able to produce more content for this blog in 2022!! I do have some ideas hehehehe

[lino-know]

Heyy how have you been lately? You havent posted for a while so i was wondering how you were? Dont feel pressured to write anything tho, if youre not in the mood coz thats completely understandable. Just prioritise your mental and physical health and thats enough to make us happy >:) i hope ur doing well tho!! Good luck for whatever youre doing and eat n sleep well <33

Hi nonnie <3

First of all merry Christmas and happy new year :)) I hope you have a good holiday or at least had a good time with family or friends!

Second of all thank you so so much for sending this <3 I really really needed this message and it came at the best possible time so thank you 😭

The reason why I was putting off answering this ask for so long was because I was thinking about how to go around it exactly. It crossed my mind briefly to do the 'I'm okay and there'll be updates soon!' thing but I know that's not going to be true and I'll just disappoint. So here's a breakdown of what's in my thought process and why I haven't really been writing anything for the past few months :) anyways this is going to be long so take a seat

The major, main reason that I haven't really written anything is life. I've just started my first year at university and while I have studied abroad before, uni is something I really need to get used to because time management is not my forte I tell you ☠️☠️ all academic things aside I'm just operating on a really bad life schedule at the moment which consists of sleeping at 3~5am, not having a social life and trying to make dysfunctionality an art form. Which is not healthy and please don't do this.

However, uni means that I'm also in a really fortunate position to explore some of my other interests, like writing in another medium and performing. Three months into tertiary education and I've already written and assistant directed a play and I really hope to keep going at this, which is why writing on Tumblr is taking a back seat on my priority list at the moment.

That said my creativity hasn't taken a blow (too big of one, anyways) so these are really just excuses tbh. But they do explain my chaotic lifestyle I call a schedule so yeah

Regarding this blog specifically though, I fully intend to get back to writing. I don't want to make any promises because I might just disappoint people anyways, but I do want to continue writing again :) there are just a few things that's stopping me from doing it.

The first is the reception. I know this is going to sound really bad/shallow but I do want to receive recognition for my work. Not even like followers or anything but notes or reblogs or even comments!! I can't reply to comments because this is a side blog but I love them. But yeah. Like obviously I know not posting for a long time and suddenly coming back is not a good equation to have notes all over your work, but the last time I took a break just kind of led to fewer and fewer reception on my blog until it kind of just flatlines. I know there are some of you guys out there who keep coming back and I really appreciate it <3 and I love you guys so much!! Whenever I see your username on my notifs it warms my heart 💕💕 But what I'm saying is I do need those breaks sometimes and when I do feel the motivation to continue writing again then it just gets like a note or two it just sucks :') especially when I look at my mutuals and they're celebrating a milestone - which is great for them and I'm happy they achieved so much!! - but personally it does sting a little. It's kind of trying to not get disappointed by not doing anything, which is a sucky attitude to have but that's one way I'm protecting myself.

Leading onto the reception thing is an...Interaction thing? I don't know if this even makes sense. But essentially I love how content creators keep their blogs going by interacting with followers and answering asks and stuff and I really want to do that too!! But maybe I just don't have enough stuff published or I don't seem as into skz as others do? There aren't many asks in my inbox and it's just sad for me personally :') Anyways yes hi this is seong self pitying hours what's new

My mental health also plays into this a little. I've been struggling with...A lot of issues and this also means that yes, sometimes I'm not in a headspace to write :') However it's not really the writing process so much as a combination of the two mentioned above. Yes, it's tough to write sometimes but when you see people liking your work it pays off. But without the reception or whatever the drain just keeps...going if you know what I mean? Like you don't get what you think you might get and it just sucks, a little. Obviously I don't write for attention - I write for the fandom and for skz but it's just nice to be acknowledged sometimes.

Going into more specific things - the first thing is about my feelings with skz. To clarify I have absolutely nothing against skz, it's just that I've kind of moved on about them. I haven't watched their videos for a long time and what I've heard about Christmas Evel is from that tiktok trend blasting itself all over my ig feed. I'm still in love with those guys, but it's more of a fond reminiscence rather than trying to get into whatever they're doing?? If that makes sense?? I know a lot of creators have continued to create for them in spite of this, but I feel like I might be unable to capture their actual personality in my works if I start writing now. I know it's technically fanfiction anyways but I just feel like I'm not doing them justice. Or maybe I have a perfect grasp of their personalities and my self esteem is just beating me over the head with a stick again. I don't know. But yeah, I still love skz. I saw Felix's purple hair and Hyunjin's very appropriate interaction with Changbin involving his ass *ahem* so I'm not entirely out of the loop. Just kind of distancing myself a lil

I guess this also involves my general attitude towards kpop now? For one thing it's not an active part of my life rn, and I don't really know much about other 4th gen groups like txt or enhyphen that I know other skz creators tend to write about adjacent to skz. This means that I don't really have much to write about other than skz on this, very skz-centred blog. And the thing about me is that I'm very actively interest-hopping around life right now. Currently I'm into Legend of Zelda, Andrew Garfield and astrology which doesn't really make much for content on this very kpop blog so I guess that's also why I'm so quiet. It's just my interests aren't really aligning with the content I usually produce so I'm just sat here ._.

Another thing also is the direction of this blog and the content I make. I know there's a mix of sfw and nsfw work here, and I've allowed minors onto this blog because of this reason. However I've also seen quite a number of minors interact with my nsfw posts even though I've specifically told y'all not to (just to clarify, you're allowed to consume my content. Just don't let me know you're doing it because I'm an adult now and the fact that you reblog it or like it makes me uncomfortable. That's literally it), and I'm hesitant to make this entirely 18+ and publish entirely 18+ work because I do want to include everyone in the fandom!! And also the fact that it's way more effort to write sexy stuff so sometimes the sfw stuff just lets me write without cringing at myself too much :) the angst also makes for a good outlet. But I guess the fact that I lean towards creating sfw content would mean less reception because most people on this site is horny :')

Anyways this has been a really really long post and there's no tldr for this, I'm sorry but you have to read it in full. But yes, thank you so so much for this ask nonnie you have no idea how much this means to me. I'm not doing too well at the moment but I fully intend to get my shit together sometime so hopefully I'll be able to write properly! And I hope you're eating and sleeping well too <3 also please someone reply to this long ass post haha haha I need attention :(

(I also didn't proofread this so if it sounds a bit wonky or it comes off the wrong way I'm so sorry :')

#Seong speaks #Skz #Stray kids #This is a very long reply and I've basically dumped all my life details on y'all I'm not sorry #I guess I haven't expected it to come this far so I'm just grateful but at the same time watching my moots get 500 followers or more #Just hurts a little #No dream this isn't just about you please don't worry #And about the sexy stuff I really do want to write smut better but everytime I do it I just. Cringe. #Yeah I don't have much to add to the notes I think I've pretty much said it #But thank you nonnie for looking out for me and remembering me <3 #Hopefully I'll be able to produce more content for this blog in 2022!! I do have some ideas hehehehe