#I only found out about it because I had to journey into ttp my damn self to make sure that this wasn't related to the irl shit going on | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sirsamurai · 7 years

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FOR JASON

My good friend Jason recently texted me and asked me where my “Canada blog” was. So.... because one person requested it.... here is my Canada blog:

When the trip was originally put together it was supposed to be me, my ttp, and some usual travel companions. Then everybody canceled. But me. But I said I would be there so I had to go. So I put out the call: who wants to wrestle in Canada? And nobody responded. So I put it out a few more times. WIth just a couple days left to spare I had found two guys to go with me. Chicana Flame, a luchador on the edge of fifty, and Bison Braddock, a student at the Reno Wrestle Factory. I know both guys. I have wrestled both guys. Other than that I knew nothing about them. Hell, I didn’t even know what either’s actual name was.

Chicano Flame left San Francisco at 8:30 Thursday morning and got to my place by 10:30. We then went to Reno and picked up Bison, leaving Reno a bit after one.

Traditionally on long road trips I like to start things off and see how far into the trip I can drive before finally tapping out. Because it wasn’t my car (we were driving Chicano’s Mercedes SUV) I ended up not tagging in until 2 am. Well over half way into the trip. I believe we were in Idaho when I finally got behind the wheel. I drove for a few hours before falling asleep behind the wheel. This led to me pulling over at a rest area and all of us sleeping for an hour. Chicano took over, drove for a couple of hours, then I took over again and got us to border early Friday morning. For the first time in my life I was FINALLY going to step foot out of the USA.

But it took awhile. I thought crossing the border would be easy. We were there around an hour as our SUV and bags were searched by border patrol and a dog. But eventually....Canada

On the “to do” list was Tim Horton’s so the first time we saw one, we stopped. I will never eat an american apple fritter again.... damn. Tim Horton’s was amazing.

As we drove through rural Canada we discussed how excited we were to be wrestling at the world famous Calgary Saddledome, where the Hart Family’s Stampede Wrestling used to run. During this very conversation Kevin Gill messaged me to notify me that the venue had been changed to Marque Beer Garden. To my knowledge, this building has no ties to wrestling. Call time was 1 PM. We pulled up at 1:10. Not bad. 24 hours after leaving Reno. We were.... tired.

So the venue was a huge bar. The wrestling was in a tent in the parking lot. This made me worry that nobody would see us wrestle. It was cold and wet. The set up would be a match, then music inside, then another match. Also sprinkled in would be burlesque and sideshow acts, which would also use the ring.

We were the opening match. Kevin said we could work it however I wanted. So I had Chicano work face while Braddock and I worked heel. Match went fine. 12 fans watched it. But more importantly most of the other wrestlers watched it as well as various employees and staff. Everybody seemed to enjoy it though I thought we could have done better. Blame exhaustion, or nerves, but I really didn’t feel like I gave it my all and I hate that feeling.

After the match I watched Onyx do two songs (one of which was their hit single from a life time again, so that was cool) and hung around with 2 Live Crew and watched a couple of their songs.

We hit a Harvey’s (a Canadian only fast food place) and then checked into our hotel, which was covered by ICP.

By ten I was sound asleep.

And by 7 am I was wide awake. So I used my phone to see if Owen Hart’s grave, the Hart House, or Lance Storm’s training academy were within running distance. None were, at least for who I am now.

I ended up doing a beautiful three mile run through neighborhoods of Calgary. I really wish I was in better shape so I could run more and see more.

Because we didn’t have to be back at the venue until 1 we hit a mall....where a few people recognized us. Wild. I also continued my traidtion of trying to find a comic store when I visit a new place....and I found one a cross the street of the venue. So while everybody was waiting for Gill to get there I wandered over. Great shop. I was broke from good and gas so didn’t buy anything. But it was a really cool shop.

The opening match today was a vampire vs a ladies man vs a sheik. Gimmicks that can me seen in any territory anywhere it seems. These guys were all really good and the match was a lot of fun. I didn’t really get to meet any of them as they were not here yesterday and left soon after match so they could make it to another show.

My match saw me play the role of face and I teamed with Gizelle Shaw to take on Kat Von Heez and Bobby Sharp. They all knew each other and had worked countless times so I was certainly odd man out. They had put the match together before speaking to me, just leaving spots for me to do my thing. And it went great. The crowd (hundreds this time) loved the match and welcomed me as a face with open arms. What a difference a day makes.

We hung around long enough to see Ice T do some songs and then we started the long journey home. I got us to the border and a little further, before tagging out because I had fallen asleep and drove off the road. Again.

24 hours later I was back home.

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mahogany-siel · 7 years

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august 30, i bought solange tickets today

I’m really just feeling around things lately. I don’t feel lonely, but I a lot of the time I feel like I should be sharing my time with someone. I’m really excited for what my future holds with this self-love journey. I am very hopeful but in my down time, I fantasize about having a best friend that checks in on me all the time. I already basically get almost everything I need in a best friend from Halley and my other lovely camp friends. However, I feel like so many of them actually have best friends outside of camp people therefore, I should too... then again I’m trying to break out of this whole comparison mode. I just want a best friend who is exclusively mine. While this sounds scarily possessive and definitely not the solution to all my problems, the professionals say to ask God for exactly what you want and that is something I want. But on a different larger scale note, I gotta fucking trust the process and let things ride out! Fucking #TTP have I not learned anything from Kairos??

As long as I am enjoying my time alone, I shouldn’t feel bad or weird about being alone.

I would love a man in my life, but I know it’s too early to have anyone serious around me right now. This time is meant for me to accept myself without the interference of anyone else. I respect that, and God has basically told me that I won’t be finding the guy I’m supposed to meet this year for a while. When I do meet him, it will be completely off guard and it will all make sense. Personally I don’t think it will be any time before December. It all depends on my progress in self-love. God won’t send me a man too prematurely, He knows how selfless and giving I am in a relationship and how quickly all the grown up independent shit I learned will go out the window. He knows me so well <3

It’s still so weird to be single. Shawn and I spent four years being each other’s everything. I love him and I miss both him, and the idealization I made of him. He was warm and beautiful and loving and my home don’t get me wrong, but for a while (before and during the time our relationship went to shit) I romanticized a lot of what was happening between us in reality. I emphasized a lot of our best times and successfully diminished our bad times and considerably lessoned the memory of our ever present duller times together. One thing in particular I always compared our current situation to was his trip to visit me in New York last March. Spring break in New York was one of the best times I had ever had with anyone in my life, especially Shawn. Looking back, I definitely think that’s where we peaked. I low-key even knew it at the time. Nothing since the first year of our relationship topped New York. We fell so fucking hard for each other again in this city. Yo, it was so I can’t even think about it for too long before I feel some type of way about the whole situation. Looking at the bigger picture, I definitely feel like one of the things that makes me feel so weird about being alone and constantly insecure about being an introvert is that for so long even though I spent the same amount of time alone I never felt truly alone because I knew I had Shawn. He was my rock, my anchor, my salvation from being a complete loner. Now that I don’t have him as an alibi for not having good friends outside of camp I feel lost.

Damn, look at me solving my own problems. I should save my money and just talk through shit myself as opposed to going to a therapist.

Nah, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves I’m not that good.

I did a follow up email with one of the women I met at the students of color mixer about the Celebrating Color: A Group for Women of Color (take a shot every time I said color in that sentence). She didn’t reply to my email yet, but God is telling me that I’m on to something good with this group. I’m still very nervous to walk into the Student Health Services building tomorrow.

Today I bought Solange tickets. I’m so excited to see her in Radio City on October 3rd. She is kind of the first person who really got my attention about being proud of my complexion and its history. She demonstrated in such an artistically admirable way that I couldn’t ignore it. I’m hoping for an ethereal, affirming, soul-enriching moment during her set that Tuesday. These expectations may be high, but I really don’t put it past her. Her music has been guiding me in my journey. She’s like my black female guiding light. Not that I hang on her every word when it comes to female blackness, but I mean she introduced me to this new realm of my identity so I mean I owe her a lil credit. I want to learn more about her so I may watch some interviews or maybe even her talk at Yale just to gain some insight. If any of you reading this are there don’t be afraid to say hi!! Lol just kidding no one is reading this blog besides me. I have no fans, plus you have no idea what my face even looks like! I’ll just be another artsy black bitch in the crowd. If you see a girl with body wave weave with leave out that doesn’t match, you probably just ran into me. Ha!

Another black woman who is really helping me navigate my identity as a black girl from a lifetime PWE (predominately white environments) is Issa Rae. I’m so into her and her message. I’ve actually found myself asking what would Issa do in a certain situations a lot. Her self-proclamation as an awkward black girl has actually been a revelation for me. I am both black and awkward (funny how that works huh) I also look forward to potentially reading her book The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl. I mean I have to find something to rely on there are only two more episodes of Insecure and I’ve already re-watched season 1 once. I mean I could re-binge both seasons again, but shidddd those episodes are only thirty minutes long and theres like only eight a season. So 16 thirty minute episodes? That’s only eight hours I could do that before dinner. Girl I have to find other outlets!

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