#I wish I could go completely nonverbal so that I wouldn't anger the people around me

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

#I need a hug #I just feel like hopeless shit tbh #I wanna do something to cheer myself up but I'm just so depressed nothing feels worth it #I don't have any crochet inspiration #my hair is in a cloth so makeup would look good/feel worth it #anything I wanna write is sad #I just want something to make me happy rn but I'm not gonna get it :( #I don't even have the will power to do basic skin care rn #usually I feel a lil better after but ugh #I just...don't feel like i care about anything #I wish I could go completely nonverbal so that I wouldn't anger the people around me #all my life is consistent of is listening to people but no one listens to me #my dad thinks we talk a lot but really it's HIM talking and me going 'yeah' every now and then #he says its not true but it is #I never get to talk to anyone I never get to go off into my autistic rants like he does #my moods really fluctuating between feeling nothing and feeling like I need to c*t and d*e #I need a hug that I don't have to fucking ask for........ #I'm either dazing and nothing or I'm barely holding in my tears #I wanna take a Tbreak cus I feel like that doesn't help #but it's really hard to NOT smoke when in pain #I dunno man my life just feels like it's never getting better. #I wanna be saved but that's never happening I'm not pretty enough to even hope that someone will finally give me my big break #feeling just hurts I wanna shut off but it's driving me mad