#I'm THISCLOSE to driving to the nearest person I have a positive relationship without preamble to cry on their doorstep and ask for a hug

[musical-chick-13]

23-year-old me wasn't happy, but I miss her.

#she worked so hard. she cared so much. she could still DO things. she hated the whole world all the time but she was /herself/ #she didn't feel so disconnected from her own humanity #tbh kind of miss 17-year-old me too. she didn't give a SHIT. she just did what she wanted. #she also wasn't afraid to ask for stuff. #and she had the first real friend she'd ever met. who she saw every day. and who wasn't an astronomical number of miles away from her #I know I know. you can never go back. you shouldn't romanticize the past. it wasn't that great. #but jfc I miss having hope that I was going to be okay and get things I wanted someday. #I'm THISCLOSE to driving to the nearest person I have a positive relationship without preamble to cry on their doorstep and ask for a hug #my GOD this is the worst month why is february always so BAD #In the Vents #I'm sorry. I'm just. finding it very hard to discover reasons to like myself #mainly because I feel like there's not a 'myself' to even like #I think I am going to go get ice cream #then maybe I can focus enough to watch something. who knows.