#I'm sick that once my sis has a hugging me Phase (only when Shit is horribly horribly wrong mind you) I get called an opportunist

[tamsinbeybey-she-no-porcupine]

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#I'm so sick of Touch starvation #I am sick of bringing it Up #I'm sick of pity Hand pats from Friends #I'm sick of clinging to greetings hugs Just to be asked If i'm okay and making Things awkward #I'm sick that No one ever initiates physical affection with me and why would they #I'm sick that I can't bring it Up with my Family because once I did and I was being mocked for it #I'm sick that Not even my Friends want to hug me because I guess its weird when you have Partners and Kids to hug cuddle someone Else #I'm sick of the yearning so much yearning it's some Boulevard of broken Dreams Level Kind of shit #I'm sick that once my sis has a hugging me Phase (only when Shit is horribly horribly wrong mind you) I get called an opportunist #I hate that the nicest hug I've ever gotten was from a stranger and it gave me a monthlong crush #I can still remember what it feels like I've been feeding of it for the past two years #I don't know why I cant have that am I that unloveable and disgusting? #Also I hate that Intervalls between the months Off being fine and being Like this are decreasing rapidly