#Inspired by Noel_o's wine and wheat on ao3

[dovabunny]

(Ghost)Soap AU Concept - His Hair

Cw: angst, minor character death mention, miscommunication. Inspired by Wine and Wheat by Noel_o on Ao3

Soap looks down at his trembling hand holding the electric razor, the buzz not drowning out the words echoing in his mind.

"You're not even a little embarrassed?" "No one will take you seriously looking like that." "It looks ridiculous!" "Did you really think-"

He lifts it to his head.

...

The night started with Soap in high spirits. He was proud of the latest mission - his new self-made bombs saved the day and maybe he was feeling a little cocky.

Which is usually nothing new or problematic when surrounded by his closest friends - Ghost, Gaz, Price, Rudy and Ale.

🧼: tellin ye, Cap', I deserve some chest candy for my ingenuity! Might just have rewritten the military demolitions handbook today.

Price just rolls his eyes.

That's when it started.

🧢: No offense, mate. But you show up at HQ with that hair, no one will take you seriously.

Ale choked on his beer, Rudy tried to hide a smile. "Dios mio, so it's not just us who thinks it looks ridiculous?" Ale looked to Price. "How is that allowed?"

💰: We're not sticklers for regulation in the 141 - but maybe we'll have to make an exception this time.

They all laughed and agreed.

Soap didn't. He felt his throat close and had to remind himself that they're just teasing, they don't mean it.

Rudy, sweet, kind Rudy gave his 5 cents next. "You're brilliant with bombs, friend, but really - you look in the mirror and decide that's your style? Not even a little embarrassed?"

Soap swallowed thick.

This isn't new. He's been mercilessly teased about his mowhak for that last 15 years. Till he joined the 141. He'd thought he was finally past shallow insults.

His ma had told him she loves it, three weeks before she lost her long battle, her own hair having fallen out months before. So he kept it.

He tried to deflect, be the usual fun, bubbly Soap they used to respond well to.

🧼: ah c'mon, ye are all just jealous ye can't touch my destructive talents!

Then the killing blow struck.

Ghost, the only man he's ever truly wanted, whose opinion mattered more than anything else.

Ghost chuckled, shoulders shaking with it as he shook his head. Surely he wouldn't-

💀: They're not wrong. You look like a 80s punk band reject, Soap.

'Soap'. Not Johnny. Ghost cares about Johnny, not Soap. He hopes...

💀: C'mon Johnny, you didn't really think it's a style that demands respect.

The agreeing laughter around the table didn't feel friendly, it felt cruel.

Was he really a laughing stock to them? Did they talk like this behind his back too? Was he just a joke they kept around cause he was good at blowing shit up.

They never even cared to ask why he had it.

He gave a rough brittle laugh, kept his head down, and made a half-assed excuse of needing to piss. Keeping his face turned away he rushed to the bathroom, he knows he's not strong enough to face the teasing if they see the tears in his eyes.

He climbs out the window and leaves.

No one texts or calls to check in him on the way back, walking instead of taking a taxi, hoping to clear his head. It didn't help. His ma always called him her gentle boy, said his heart was good and to protect it.

She was right about that. But turns out, wrong about his hair.

He can't fix what he's like on the inside. It stays broken no matter how he tried.

But he can fix what he's like on the outside. Make him look fixed, at least.

He picks up the electric razor he kept for the sides of his head. Ghost usually shaved it for him. He always teased that he was gonna shave it all...

A lock of hair falls.

#soapghost #ghostsoap #johnny soap mactavish #cod mwii #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #john soap mactavish #cod soap #soap mactavish #cancer mention #family death mention #soap needs a hug #Inspired by Noel_o's wine and wheat on ao3