#LITT BEST FRUIT EVER ITS NOT EVEN A QUESTION

[wistfulcynic]

Both Are Infinite, Chapter 6

A/N: So. Yeah. It’s been a while. I kinda lost my mojo for this story for a while, but I did promise all the WIPs would be finished (and promised the many, many anons asking about this one that I hadn’t forgotten it) so tada! I hope you guys can remember what’s been happening because I sure can’t. 

Only kidding (a little). When we left off Emma and Killian had finally got their act together and admitted their feelings after five years of friendship. This chapter opens with them at a B&B outside of Storybrooke the morning after. 

I have completely forgotten who was on the tag list for this so am just going to tag a few people I think were reading it. Apologies to anyone missed. @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke @deathbycaptainswan @teamhook @rouhn (who did the lovely art as well) 

On AO3

Summary: Busy single mother Emma Swan relies on her best friend, Royal Navy Captain Killian Jones, far too much to ever ruin things by acting on the crazy lust she feels for him. The boundaries between them are firmly set... until they're not, and suddenly Emma and Killian are forced to confront the feelings they've been suppressing for far too long.

Rating: M

Chapter 6: 

For the first time in her life —though definitely not, she promised herself, the last— Emma woke up in Killian’s arms and felt no sadness, no longing or sense of loss when she came fully awake. Instead she felt simply happy, a wide smile spreading across her face as she snuggled into his chest as his arms tightened around her, and she could hear the answering smile in the voice that rumbled in her ear. 

“Morning, love,” he said. “How are you feeling?”

“Mmmmm,” said Emma. “Wonderful. You?”

“Like I’m waking up from a dream, only to find myself in a better dream.” He chuckled. “What time is it?”

Emma groped for the clock on the bedside table. “Six thirty. Ugh, why am I awake now?”

Killian was nuzzling beneath her ear. “I may have been… subtly trying to wake you for the past, oh, fifteen minutes or so.” 

“You wake up soooo early,” she groaned, tilting her head back to give him access to her neck. “I’m not sure this relationship is going to work after all.” 

“Ah, well, we gave it a try,” he murmured against the underside of her jaw. “Perhaps just one last kiss before we end it?”

“Well if you insis—” Emma broke off as Killian’s lips captured hers in a kiss that started out soft but soon grew deep and hot. His hand slid down her body to nestle between her legs, stroking her gently, and it felt so damn good to have him finally touch her the way she’d dreamed he would but when she lifted her leg to give him greater access she couldn’t help letting out a groan that was decidedly not one of passion. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Killian, of course, spotted the difference instantly. 

“Nothing, I’m fine.” He raised an eyebrow at her and she sighed. “I’m just a litte sore is all. It’s— well, it’s been a while since I, um—” 

“Aye,” he said, understanding. “Well. Allow me to introduce you to one of the benefits of early rising, my love.” “And what’s that?” She felt an inch away from pouting when he withdrew his hand, and the kiss he dropped on her forehead did not make up for its loss. “It leaves you more than enough time to have a long, hot bath before checkout.” He grinned at her. “What do you say?”

“I say that sounds perfect. But only if you join me.” Her thoughts were already swirling with ideas of what she might do to him in a bathtub. 

His grin turned wicked. “You read my mind, Swan.” 

----

 They soaked in the bath for over an hour, kissing and caressing, and just enjoying the freedom to touch each other as much as they liked and talk openly about the feelings they’d been suppressing for five long years. When they finally got out the bathwater was cold but the soreness had gone from Emma’s muscles and she felt more relaxed and content than she ever had before in her life. 

Killian called for room service while Emma dried her hair and when she emerged from the bathroom the small table in the nook formed by the bay window, was laid with eggs and bacon and toast and fruit, and bathed in the bright morning sunlight. She was famished, she realised, but not so desperate for food that she didn’t squeeze Killian again before she sat down and dug in. She wondered if she’d ever get used to this freedom to touch him. She hoped not, she never wanted to take him for granted. 

“What are we going to tell Henry?” she asked after they had eaten in silence for a few minutes. 

“What might we need to tell him?” Killian looked slightly alarmed.

“Well, he might have some questions when we suddenly start kissing all the time.” 

His expression relaxed. “And do you plan on kissing me all the time now, Swan?”

She batted her lashes at him. “Allll the time,” she purred. 

He chuckled, then his face became serious. “On the subject of Henry, I actually did wish to speak to you about something.” 

“Something bad?” she asked, concerned by his solemn tone. “Well, I certainly hope not. I was just thinking, and I know we have literally only just got together but I’ve been thinking about this for some time, and— well, to put it simply, I’d like to adopt Henry.”

Emma’s heart leapt, then thundered. This was more than she had anticipated. “You would?”

He nodded, holding her gaze. “Aye, very much. If I’m honest, I’ve thought of  him as my son for some time now, and he— he’s given me to understand that he feels the same.” 

A small smile crept across her face. “He asked you to be his dad, didn’t he?”

“Aye.” 

Of course he had. “He asked me the same. I think we can assume he’d be on board with an adoption.” 

Killian smiled but his eyes were brimming with uncertainty. “And what about you, love, would you be equally on board?”

She would, Emma realised. As scary as all this abrupt change was, she wanted nothing more than for her son to have this man as his father. “I mean, of course I would,” she said slowly. “You’ve been in his life since he was six months old. You’re the only father he knows. And even if— if things didn’t— work out between us, even though I definitely think they will despite how freaking early you wake up, but even if they didn’t I’m sure you would still want to be in Henry’s life.” 

“I would indeed.” 

“I’d want that too. I can’t imagine anything that could make me not want it. But adoption is a big step, are you sure…”  

“It is a big step,” Killian acknowledged, “but there are practical factors involved in this as well you know, love, as well as emotional ones. 

“Practical factors?”

“Aye, for instance I have quite a generous Navy pension, and if anything happened to me when I was on duty—”

Emma nearly dropped her fork as a stab of fear pierced her. “What the hell do you mean if anything happened to you?” she nearly shouted. “What might happen to you?”  

Killian looked surprised at her vehemence. “I’m the captain of a guided missile destroyer, Emma, it’s a rather more hazardous than a desk job. Many things could happen to me.”

“Seriously?” Of course she’d always known that Killian’s job was dangerous but now that she finally had a chance at a relationship with him the thought of anything taking him from her was unbearable. 

He laughed softly and took her hand. “I’m very good at my job, love, and I don’t take unnecessary risks. But there are dangers inherent in any military career and I’d just feel better knowing that if anything did happen to me the two people I love most in the world would be taken care of. Of course I know you can take care of yourself and of Henry perfectly well on your own,” he added quickly when he saw the protest forming on her lips, “but think about it this way. My pension would pay for Henry to go to any university he wished.”

“It’s that big, huh?” She widened her eyes to let him know the double entendre was intentional. 

He smirked in response. “It is quite impressive. And if I adopt Henry it can go to him.”

“I’d like that,” she said softly. “Truly, I would. Not for the pension, though having that freedom for Henry’s future would be amazing, but because you are his dad and you always have been, and I’d like for that to be legal.” 

His smile was radiant, and when he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it she nearly melted into a puddle. How had she managed to resist her feelings for him for so long? 

“I can’t quite believe all this is real,” he said. “Twenty-four hours ago I’d have declared it completely impossible.” 

“Me too, on both counts.” Emma squeezed his hand. 

“And you’re sure you’re okay with all of this?” Killian asked, worry creeping into his voice. “It’s a lot of big changes, a lot to adjust to.”

“Yeah, it is, but at the same time… it isn’t? I mean, we’ve been in a relationship for years, Killian. Mary Margaret opened my eyes to that. Nothing substantive is actually going to change between us, we’ll still be living our same lives, it’s just now we get to act like a couple—”

“—and sleep together, don’t forget, I’d say that’s a pretty substantive change—”

“—and sleep together, yes, which is definitely a big deal and might be weird for a while, but honestly I am so happy and excited I think I can deal with a little weirdness.” She smiled at him, a little scared, a little shy, but completely radiant. “I just want us to be a family. Officially, I mean, we’ve really always been one.”  

Killian was looking at her liked she’d put the sun and all the stars in his sky. Slowly he stood and pulled her to her feet, wrapping her tightly in his arms. “That’s all I want,” he whispered into her hair, “It’s all I’ve wanted since the day we met. I love you so much, Emma.”  

She hugged him back equally tightly. “I love you so much too,” she said, her words muffled against his chest. 

They stood entwined until the clock on the mantelpiece chirped to remind them of the hour. Emma pulled back and looked up, smiling softly at the happiness on Killian’s face, knowing it was reflected on her own. “Let’s get Henry and go home,” she said. 

“Home,” repeated Killian, almost in wonder. “Aye. Let’s do that.” 

---

They said nothing to Henry until they were back in Boston, but as soon as the bags were unpacked and they’d all had a snack and a toilet break they knew they couldn’t wait any longer. Henry was grumpy, tired after the excitement of the last few days and already missing Roland. He was sitting on the floor constructing a fortress out of Lego when Emma called to him. 

“Henry, come here, please. We need to talk to you.” 

“No.” 

“Henry! Come here right now.”

“I wanna plaaay,” whined Henry. 

“You can play later, now let’s talk.” Emma used her this-is-my-final-word voice, and hoped like hell he wouldn’t try to fight her. 

Henry stuck out his lower lip and dragged his feet as he walked over to where Emma and Killian were sitting on the sofa. 

“What?” he said. 

“Come sit here, lad,” Killian patted the cushion between himself and Emma. “And stop pouting, if you please.” Henry’s lip pulled back in almost of its own accord, and Emma hid a grin. Killian’s Captain voice was far more effective than her this-is-my-final-word one. That was going to come in handy. 

Henry sat on the sofa where Killian had indicated, and Emma’s hand of its own accord reached out to brush the hair off his forehead. Her sweet baby boy, she thought. He was going to be so thrilled. There was a small, selfish part of her that ached a bit at the idea of sharing him; even though Killian had helped her raise him almost from the beginning, she alone had been the legal guardian, the decision maker, and now she was relinquishing half of that guardianship to someone else. It was the right decision for all three of them and she was ecstatic about it, but also still a tiny bit sad. 

“Henry,” Killian began, “Your mum and I have been talking and we have something we’d like to ask you.” 

Henry seemed finally to pick up on the excitement underneath Emma and Killian’s solemn faces. “What is it?” he asked, brightening. 

“How would you feel,” Killian cleared his throat, “Ahem, how would you feel about me adopting you?”

Henry frowned. “What’s ‘dopting me?”

“A-dopting you. It means that I would, well, effectively I’d become your father.” 

Henry’s eyes widened and he began to tremble with excitement. 

“You’d be my dad?” he shouted.

“Aye, I wou— ugh!” Killian’s breath whooshed out as Henry launched himself into his solar plexus. 

“That’s what I want more than anything,” cried Henry, his small arms squeezing Killian tightly. “But I asked and you and Mom both said no!” 

“Aye, well, we’ve changed our minds.” Killian hugged Henry back. “If you agree, then we—”

“I agree! Agree agree agreeeeee—”

Killian’s face was lit with delight. “All right, lad, we get the idea—”

“Can I call you Dad right away? Can I do it now?”

“I’d like that very much,” said Killian in a choked voice. 

“If you’re my dad do we have the same name?”

“Well—” Killian shot a pleading look at Emma, but she just shrugged. “He’s your kid,” she mouthed with a smirk that softened as awe broke across his face. 

“My kid…” he whispered. 

Henry, oblivious to the exchange between the adults, had already moved on to other topics. “How long does ‘doption take?” he asked, settling into Killian’s lap and wriggling until he was comfortable. “Does this mean you won’t go back to your ship?”  

“Er, it can take some time I think and no, I still have to go back, it’s my job. But maybe one day you and your mum can come with me and see the ship. Would you like that?”

“YEAH!!”

“I’m going to go make dinner,” Emma mouthed to Killian over the top of Henry’s head. Her son was obviously full of questions and she thought she’d leave him and his dad alone to discuss the details of their new relationship. 

Henry and his dad. She couldn’t stop her eyes from welling up at the thought of it. Maybe she’d take a minute in the bathroom before starting dinner, she thought. 

---

Henry could barely sit still during dinner or stop talking long enough to actually eat, but together Emma and Killian managed to coax enough food down him to see him adequately nourished. After dinner he insisted on taking out his globe and asking Killian to tell him stories about all the places on it. After that he insisted on Killian supervising his bath and bedtime, at which point he insisted on another story —or three— to help him fall asleep. By the time he was finally down and Killian returned to the living room and collapsed on the couch, Emma had cleaned the entire kitchen, run the dishwasher, and picked up most of Henry’s toys. 

“Bloody hell, love, I don’t know how you manage this on your own,” Killian said, massaging his temples. 

“Welcome to parenthood,” said Emma. 

“Aye, it’s actually starting to feel real.” He sat up to make room for her on the sofa, wrapping his arm around her shoulders when she snuggled next to him. “We should probably talk about how things will change after the adoption, love, and with us… now. What’s going to happen with us.” 

“Yeah, we probably should,” said Emma. “Later. Right now I want to make out with you here on this sofa, because I’ve decided we are going to do all the things I’ve ever imagined us doing together, which is a long list so we need to get started on it right away, and after the making out I am definitely going to want you to carry me to my bedroom and do many unspeakable things to me.” 

He pulled her up until she was straddling his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs. “Hmmm, well if you insist,” he murmured, kissing her neck as his hand tangled in her hair.  

“I definitely do.” 

---

Killian woke early, of course. He always did, even when sleeping late was an option. His body was simply too conditioned to life in the Navy to do otherwise. Although when Killian was off duty he liked to take the opportunity to shake off the military a bit, let his hair get a bit messy and be comfortable in the old band t-shirts he’d worn at university, there were some things that were just ingrained.

One of the things he appreciated most about Boston and specifically Emma’s house was how far removed it was from his naval life. He loved that life, loved the navy, but being a Royal Navy officer carried a great deal of responsibility. While Killian was more than capable of shouldering that responsibility he was not ashamed to admit that the constant strain of it took a great deal out of him and during his leave he was grateful to be as far removed from it as possible, to relax and recharge and let loose the parts of himself that he had to keep tightly reined in when on duty. 

Yet he still couldn’t shake the early rising. 

Opting this time to allow Emma to sleep —she didn’t have to go back to work until the next day, and she could use her rest after the night they’d had— he eased out of her bed, pressing a kiss to her temple before he went, and pulled on sweatpants and an ancient t-shirt before silently slipping from the room. Perhaps he’d make them some breakfast, he thought. There was sure to be pancake mix in Emma’s cupboard and they’d picked up milk and eggs at the store before coming home the day before. 

He had just put on a pot of coffee and was beginning to assemble the pancake ingredients when Henry —also an early riser— appeared in the kitchen door. 

“Morning, Dad!” he cried, running to give Killian a hug. 

Killian smiled as he returned his son’s hug and his heart tripped in his chest, and he wondered how long it would be until the sound of Henry calling him “Dad” stopped making him feel so gooey inside. He hoped it would take years. He didn’t ever want to take the gift of Henry or Emma for granted. 

“Morning, lad. Keep your voice down, your mum’s still asleep.” He poured orange juice into a small plastic cup and held it out to Henry, who downed it in huge, glugging gulps. “How about pancakes for breakfast?” he asked, when the juice was gone. 

“Okay! Can I watch TV until they’re ready?”

“Yes, but not too loud, remember your mum.” 

Henry raced into the living room and Killian listened at the kitchen door until he ascertained that the television volume was not at a level that would disturb Emma, then went to mix the pancakes, humming to himself as he did. 

He had just poured the first batch when the doorbell buzzed, startling him. Who on earth would be at the door at eight am on a random Tuesday? He debated waking Emma, but then the doorbell buzzed again and he reasoned that if she hadn’t woken on her own by now she was probably sleeping deeply enough that rousing her sufficiently to deal with a visitor would likely take some time. Switching off the burner just to be safe, he went to the door, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel and tossing it over his shoulder before turning the knob. 

The door opened to reveal a man standing on the doorstep with his hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, his shoulders hunched in a defensive manner that gave the impression of being habitual. He was a few inches shorter than Killian but appeared to be around the same age, though the weary lines on his face and the grey at his temples spoke of a life that had been lived hard. The man looked up when the door opened, his lips curling in an ingratiating smile. At the sight of Killian the smile shifted abruptly into a scowl and his eyes narrowed sharply before raking over the taller man, lingering slightly on his ratty t-shirt and mussed hair, on his bare feet and the towel over his shoulder. 

“Who the hell are you?” he said.

Killian did not appreciate his words or his tone. “You’re the one at my door, mate,” he retorted. “Who the hell are you?”

“This isn’t your door,” said the man. “Emma Swan owns this house, I checked.” 

Something that felt uncomfortably like fear began to curl in Killian’s chest. He had met all of Emma’s friends and most of her colleagues, but he was certain he had never laid eyes on this man before. “What’s your business with Emma?” he asked.

The man straightened his shoulders and glared defiance at Killian. “I want to talk to her,” he said. “About my son.” 

Killian’s fear was twined around his heart now, squeezing mercilessly as the world began to spin around him and he grasped the doorframe for support. “Your son?” he croaked. 

The man nodded smugly. “Oh yeah. My name’s Neal Cassidy, I’m her kid’s dad.” 

Notes: Yes OF COURSE there’s a massive cliffhanger at the end of the super-short chapter that took me six months to write. Were you expecting anything else? 

#cs ff #cs ff au #cs fic #captain swan #captain cobra #finishing the wip #tropey tropey tropes #both are infinite #profdanglaisstuff