#WHERE IS THAT BRAIIIIIN i hate it here ... :(

[egos]

i wannaaa dieeee i dont mind doing assignments for college, like writing, different tasks, whatever hw, presentations, taking notes yeah ill complain but ill do it its fine. BUT STUDYING? MEMORIZING THINGS? it makes me soooo agitated and it feels like my brain is boiling? i tried soooo hard yesterday and for the past 2 weeks i did as best as i could BUT I CANNOT its not even me not wanting to do it? it feels like i psychically cant like i have no control over it, this is the first time in my life i just couldnt study AT ALL

#my diet is mediocre rn ... i have more than enough sleep i drink 70 litres of water per day i think i stretch a bit like i do those basics #more or less ... and ive been in situations where i was scared i was gonna die (family violence) but i stull studied #got good grades.... my dad died in primary school and i increased my grades the next month #WHERE IS THAT BRAIIIIIN i hate it here ... :( #i keep looking at studyblr posts to motivate me but i just cannot . ill start and my brain will start itching #havent cried in 4 months i feel like i might do it now -_- #being stupid is so .. hard