#actually when I'm anxious focusing on all my five senses makes me even more overstimulated so I close my eyes and don't focus on what I hear

[neverendingford]

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#tag talk #making progress in therapy because I finally got annoyed enough to go on a twenty minute monologuing about how #I'm tired of getting projected onto and put in these cute little “here's how to manage your anxiety” boxes #yeah body scanning is cool I learned that seven years ago when I was having panic attacks and now I don't have them anymore #actually when I'm anxious focusing on all my five senses makes me even more overstimulated so I close my eyes and don't focus on what I hear #yes I already know how anxiety works and at this point I'm past the emotional fear response and it's now just an overloaded cpu problem #hey hey hey fucking listen to me yeah the circle of control is cute but when people are stupid enough I actually Can control them #I tried to tell her politely that I've already graduated from psych 101 basic bitch mental illness school for freaks. #but she didn't really get it so I stewed for half an hour while she talked about bullshit and then I kinda went off about it #like. hey I'm not incapable of holding relationships long term because I'm afraid of them it's because I'm a freak who doesn't belong. #I'm not afraid of other people. if anything people are afraid of Me. and yes that does make me afraid of social rejection as a whole #but can we please move past kindergarten levels of self understanding and move on to something useful? #yeah yeah yeah you all keep on being like “hmm let's address your depression” I'm so fucking tired of getting told coping methods #how many more snide comments about suicide hotlines do I need to make before you get the hint that I don't just need a hug. #anyway I'm gonna make a list of things I want to talk about and problems I want to address and email it to her and hopefully that helps