#and guilt inducing bc there's bigger problems and i should be helping and doing and not navel gazing about love

[soldier-poet-king]

WAILS

#it certainly is a monday..... #worried about [redacted] #brain keeps giving me the softest kindest dreams only to wake up and be like. well. time for work #its dark and cold and rainy #usual family bullshit. careee bullshit. etc #im MAYBE getting sick which cant happen i have tattoo work scheduled for Saturday #bro1 (aged 23) is getting his ears pierced and i was giving him advice #and he straight up was like oh im getting both done because just one ear is gay #He said that. to my face. im. #i need to move out. i need to get a s/o. i need to hold hands and go on cutesy little dates SO BAD #i love romance ok. im tired of pretending i dont #i don't really care abt the sex bits like sure itd be nice #but i dont yearn and pine for it like i do the casual romantic intimacy of it all im. im. #WHY IS IT NOT SOFT AND KIND. LIFE SHOULD BE SOFT AND KIND TO ME OK. I WOULD BE SO GOOD AT ROMANCE-FRIENDSHIP #just like. the gentleness. the kindness. the fun. im. going to be SICK #im also sosososo sleepy and sad. #oh the national on repeat for hours we're really in it now #wish we could invent a way to be lonely and wanting that isnt completely cringe!!! #and guilt inducing bc there's bigger problems and i should be helping and doing and not navel gazing about love #and yet!!!!!!!!!!