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paulsnichols · 8 months

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30th Birthday

It is Sunday, September 10th, 2023, which means that I have turned 30 years old. I have now been doing these annual birthday Tumblr posts for 10 years and this will probably be the last one. Ten years ago I regularly posted here on Tumblr as well as Twitter and not only do I not post much on either site anymore, I just feel like it's a nice place to end. I have documented what I was thinking about and roughly summarized what I did on my birthday every year of my twenties. I don't need to keep doing that into my thirties. Hopefully I'll have more going on in my life in the future and honestly this website might not even exist much longer.

Anyway, so yeah I'm 30 now. Pretty wild, but it was bound to happen eventually. When I was in high school I would say things like "I'm probably going to be bald by the time I'm 30" and it seemed like a reasonably long time in the future to believe that. Well, I've still got hair. Do I have a receding hairline and a slowly emerging bald spot on the top of my head? Absolutely. But I am by no definition bald and that's got to count for something, right? Obviously there's nothing wrong with being bald, I'm more just highlighting that my expectations in that regard did not become reality. Now that I think about it, I'm not really sure I had any particular expectations about what my life would be at this point when I was in high school. I don't know if I had any when I wrote that first post 10 years ago. It's useful for me to remember that because it can be very easy for me to get down on myself or feel like I should be in a different position in my life, especially when some of my peers or people I grew up with are starting families or having children. There's no rule that says I need to be doing that too and it's not like it was a goal anyway, so who cares? I have a full time job in a line of work that I don't hate (that's a big one), I live on my own and pay all my bills pretty comfortably (not guaranteed for many folks my age these days) and, most importantly, I think I just know myself way more than I did 10 years ago. I'd like to think that continues in the following decades.

So how did I spend my 30th birthday, you might ask? It really starts yesterday in my mind. Normal Saturday for the most part. I shirt I ordered came in the mail. I did some grocery shopping and the laundry. Later in the afternoon I went to my parent's house because I wanted my mom to edge up my neck and didn't think I'd be able to visit with them today on my birthday. I left from there and picked up something to eat and watched the 1973 film The Last Detail, which I enjoyed. I'd been meaning to rewatch Bo Burnham's special Inside for a while and finally watch the outtakes he put out last year and I did that afterwards. I felt like it was somewhat appropriate because he has that song about turning 30 in there and I remembered that my older brother actually watched that special for the first time on his 30th birthday 2 years ago not knowing that song was in there. Still an incredibly impressive piece of work, that special. After watching those it was already after midnight and, coincidentally, one of my favorite films of all time, Office Space, happened to be playing on HBO. It was about twenty minutes in, so I of course had to watch that for a while. Now this is kind of significant to me because I was born at 12:37 in the morning. I was curious what point in the movie would be playing at the actual time I turn 30 years old for real. The time comes and basically right on the dot is when the scene where Peter, Samir and Michael destroy the fax machine started. I have a print of that scene hanging in my apartment, so it was a pretty neat moment. Then I went to bed.

Woke up this morning around 9:30am, exercised and showered. Read some of the book I'm currently reading (Killers of the Flower Moon, which is excellent). I got the annual birthday text from my brother Kyle and when I told him about the Office Space moment, he noted that I might have actually been born at 12:35am, not 12:37am. He would have some idea because one of the weirdest facts about the both of us is that we have the exact same birth time. The days, months and years are obviously different, but I still think it's interesting. So the scene that was probably playing at 12:35am was when they put the virus on the office computers. Either way, I was watching Office Space when I officially turned 30. That shirt that arrived the previous day, by the way, is a De La Soul Stakes Is High shirt that I wanted to wear today, so I sent that through the laundry real quick. I was happy to wear that shirt today because I think turning 30 is a raising of the stakes in some regards. It's also just a cool shirt.

I had made plans to hang out with my friend Cooper a few days before, so I left to meet him at Pollo Campero to pick up some food and then head to his place. To Cooper and I, "hanging out" really just means we sit around and talk for multiple hours, which I enjoy very much. We often talk about our shared love for the podcast Doughboys and well as what's going on in our lives. It's nice to have a friend you can be open with and trust with your various thoughts and feelings, so talking with him always a pleasure. We went for ice cream at one point were eventually joined back at his place by his fiancee Emily. One of the things Cooper wanted to meet about was the possibility that I design some items for their wedding. The discussion was more of what I called a "pre-discussion" with a more serious one to happen sometime in the future. I left from there a little while after that before stopping partway back to return Cooper's wallet which he accidentally left in my car when we went for ice cream. I walked into my apartment right as Winning Time was starting on HBO, so I watched that and then uploaded some CDs that arrived in the mail to the computer as I typed this up.

In previous versions of this annual post I would include some of my ponderings about what birthdays mean to me and how I feel about celebrating it or to what extent I care about other people recognizing it. These days, I don't really care that much. I celebrate in whatever way I feel like and don't put that much thought into anything else. Seems like a reasonable place to end up by the time I reached 30.

I will say that I can't necessarily describe my twenties has having "flew by". 2013 seems like a pretty long time ago and A LOT has changed since then. What do I say about my twenties, then? Let's see: 20 - 23: I was in college, worked at a trampoline park, saw some concerts and stand-up shows, went to France, learned graphic design in school and got hired as one at my first "real" job. 24 - 26: Started working for real and struggled for a while figuring out how to live on my own for the first time, my last grandparent dies, get more comfortable at work, try to figure out how to have and maintain friendships as an adult, go to some more concerts and stand-up shows, start to really get an understanding of my tastes in things, pandemic starts. 27 - 30: These are the pandemic years. I think I actually gain some confidence in myself as a designer and get more comfortable in my job, I really reevaluate a lot of my beliefs because of COVID and gain a stronger understanding of my ideology and a more coherent analysis of the world, become a regular reader for the first time as an adult, gain a deeper interest and appreciation for film and, as things open up, make going to the movies a much more regular part of my life. There's some other stuff in there too, but this is already too long and nobody is reading this anyway. I was being serious about this probably being the last birthday post. Man, I hope so for your sake and mine. It is nice to write more long-form stuff again, though. Okay I really need to stop now before I get some ideas. I am glad I did this thing though. It might be nice to look back on someday. How long does Tumblr have, realistically? Is there someway to archive all your posts? Is this Tumblr customer service? Can I speak to a representative? This is me becoming old in real time.

29th Birthday

28th Birthday

27th Birthday

26th Birthday

25th Birthday

24th Birthday

23rd Birthday

22nd Birthday

21st Birthday

20th Birthday

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anendlessdawnfalling · 5 years

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⭐ Berry Berry Benny!! ⭐

Here is my late review and opinion of Kurenai Yuzuru's last dinner show in August. I had a hard time to assimilate everything that happened these last months, beware of it's length and I hope you love Hoshigumi. Good reading! 💖 I'm sorry if it comes up to you completely, I don't know how the tumblr editing works. 😰 (I'm not sure the songs listing is entirely accurate.)

It was an emotional evening I must say, I deeply love Kurenai Yuzuru and it was overwhelming. I must admit that I'm not entirely sure of the rightness of my timeline, since quite some time passed. I attended the event in Osaka on shonichi, and everyone was very nervous including myself. The dinner show was held at the International Hankyu Hotel with approximately 500 attendees. The ladies at my table were very lovely, we chatted a bit and of course the easiest subject to talk about was Kurenai Yuzuru! Beni's parents were also in the audience closer to the stage.

🥂 DINNER 🥂

The dinner itself was very nice, and was a four course meal inspired by French cuisine. The Menu was written in French and Japanese, a very cute touch. Most of the sentences made sens, but there's still some work to be done, my proposition is that Hankyu should stop using Google translate and hire me instead. As hilarious as it is, we wouldn't want another "Nouvelle / Chinois " to happen.

Dinner was served in that order; Hors d'oeuvres was raw Bream with veggies and carpaccio. L'Entrée was a piece of lightly fried tilefish with a celery and chestnuts buttery sauce. Oddly the taste remembered me of my mother's cuisine, so it's good. The main course was red meat topped with mushrooms and a light sauce, it was accompanied by asparagus, cabbage and potatoes. My only concern was the bread they served with it, if you ate Japanese bread before you might know what I'm talking about. I highly despise the baguettes there because it tastes like cheap Subway bread, that was my very Taurus rant. Finally, the dessert was a red Opéra cake decorated with a Kurenai 5 colored coulis, fruits and a star chocolate. It was ADORABLE.

For the drinks, there was a wide variety offered, one of my favorite was the Asahi 紅 beer. The servers kept generously filling my wine glass, which I can't complain about. I preferred being a little bit tipsy because I didn't know how it was going to go.

🌌 SET 🌌

The stage was a very shiny deep blue tone and was adorned with some glossy columns. A very galaxy note! (Or metaphor because Beni's the God of Stars) The room was giant and pretty cozy at the same time, maybe I'm highly biased because I love Hoshigumi fans aura. The last time I was in a room that luxurious was for a wedding, which Takarazuka events always remember me of, weddings. One could say that, I'm easily impressed by gigantic crystals chandeliers and very elegant tables settings.

There were two rows of chairs at the back of the room, and just before the show started a few Hoshigumi seito sneaked there before it went dark. After a quick glance I remember seeing Arisa Hitomi, Asamizu Ryou and Amaki Homare. There were many more of them that I didn't manage to get a good glance at.

✨ SHOW ✨

As the room went dark and the lights started to flashes toward the stage, the audience deeply anticipated Kurenai's arrival. I started to envy the others closer to the stage, that would have a better view and I regretted to not have brought my opera glasses with me. However she didn't appear right away, and took quite some time to make the audience more excited. Guess what? She bursted of the door right behind me in a beautiful red suit, startling everyone while running and singing. I almost had an heart attack and didn't regret petty things anymore. Thus began Berry Berry BENNY!!

The "supporting" cast was composed of Tenju Mitsuki, Kisaragi Ren, Kizaki Reo and Shirotae Natsu. Everyone jumped out of the stage as Sayumi made her arrival and the first song was Berry Berry Benny. Which by that point my table mates and I were quite shaken by everything that happened. Truly only Beni can pull something like that over and over again and still surprise me. ( Throwback to Stella Rossa) After the song, the cast proceeded to introduce themselves and chit chat a bit. Kurenai asked if they were in Tokyo, Mikki corrected her and she kept laughing. (She NEEDS vacations.)

The second song was Ai no rengoku from Anna Karenina, performed by Beni alone. A very dramatic start I must say, Mr.Karenin left a deep impression on her. Her interpretation was very venurable, and truly delightful if you love her non comical side.

Special talk segment 1: Two chairs were set up for Sayumi and a guest plus a life sized shiny cardboard of Beni. However it was not the regular Kurenai Yuzuru who came on stage, but Beniko in one of the most horrible costumes I've seen on her. Renta was the first guest of the Beniko show, they spoke teasingly of other Hoshigumi seito about how everyone was crying so hard on raku. Both of them were diabolically laughing. As the time went out, the Kurenai cardboard would illuminate and menacing threats would come on. Naachan interview was sweeter and shorter than Renta, she admitted that she cried on raku unlike someone else. Beniko, Renta and Naachan proceeded to sing Raimei. I wasn't ready for the absurdity of the situation, and I must admit I haven't laugh that hard in so many years.

To leave time for Beni to quick change costume, Ren and Natsu sang Yume Butai [ À bientôt ]. Their voice sounded really great as a duet! ♡ I was especially excited for this because it meant Renta had an extra special moment before her retirement. Nacchan and her are really positive people and you can feel this vibe as they perform. Furthermore, an upperclassmen musumeyaku is a delight to see highlighted.

Beni-chan no usomitaina honto no hanashi: A magical story of Beni's life. She narrates/sing the whole thing with highlights of her life and her love for Takarazuka. From what I remember; Mikki was child Beni, Renta as the creepy Butler from Meichan, Natsu as what I suppose was Beniko and Reo was André. (I might be mistaken, I'll correct it if that's the case. I have a goldfish memory.) Cute anecdote: Her dream was to be André in the RoV shinko, but she was appointed as the Grand Chamberlain and was very sad about it. They also made passive-aggressive jokes about Koike sensei, it made me crack.

LUCKY STAR ! Or a cute reminder of where she started, I was very happy she included that song and I felt like a mother hen. It was a nice transition with her earlier storytime, it's joyful, energetic and very her. ♡ She gave us a very explosive and all over the place performance.

Surprise drum rolls, what you wanted to know for so long and the answer is YES. The glorious Kurenai 5 made the comeback we were all waiting for, or more so the Kurenai 3. Beni, Renta and Mikki were in their old matching T-shirt and nostalgia hit me hard. I almost missed the mullet Beni used to have. Then entered the missing members life sized cardboard, both Reo and Naachan made their respective member dance through the song. No one was expecting this, the whole room was filled with laughter. They then talked about the origins of Kurenai 5 and what fun experiences they had in the past. They pointed out that the band would officially not work anymore, as it would be just 1. Beni proceeded to tease Mikki quite a lot. Both Ichijou Azusa and Miya Rurika had recorded a message for their dear leader, in which Beni was delighted to hear. Renta and Mikki then proceeded to slam their microphone to the cardboards during the intervention. It was hilarious! Both Miyaruri and Shiiran were at the raku in Tokyo, so if the DVD is that recording we'll have the delight to physically see them. Sayumi thought Shiiran sounded very ladylike and that Miya sounded very sleepy, like she should go to sleep.

Your favorite song by Benny was a segment where she proposed us three different songs that she could sing for us. After the vote she discarded the audience opinion and did the one she wanted, Smile from Meichan's Butler. (Very her to do that) Unlike the other times she walked through the audience as she sang, and I started to get nervous again when she headed toward the back of the room. She was taking the time to look at everyone very carefully and lovingly. Then she was in front of me and the world fell down. It was THE BEST two seconds of my entire life. I was very much horrendously blushing , but hey Kurenai Yuzuru and I shared a glance while she sang the creepy Butler song? Very shoujo like situation, a part of me fell in love with her all over again. Otokoyaku are very convincing at their job, they don't need to do much to amaze me.

Special talk segment 2 with Mikki and Reo.

Beniko came back with an even more horrendous outfit than the first one; another awful red gown orned with lines of gold and silver sequins. Oversized trumpet sleeves with feathers on the end, a wig worthy of a Ghibli old witch and topped with numerous fans of herself.

Mikki's interview was the longest, and the one to which Beni's cardboard was the most aggressive. Both her and Reo talked about the whole taidan situation, the troupe loves so much BeniAiri. They're as emotional if not more than fans about this. Mikki and Reo came back on stage and joined Beniko to sing Killer Rouge. Another absurd situation, where Beni's gaze was her cool otokoyaku look but she was dressed similar to the old ladies she always mocks about.

Hoshi wo tsugumono was MikkiReo's duet. What a very dangerous duo they make, both their voices are pretty warm and l had a few butterflies in my stomach. I'm sorry for betraying you Sayumi!

Random selection ;

I believe it's a free for all section and that must choose a song according to their mood. That night the ensemble sang Om Shanti Om as Sayumi went off stage to get a quick change. Boi do Hoshigumi loves that production, their enthusiasm really shows while singing this particular song. They went through the public and did a few handtouch. Renta stole the fan of an audience member right in front of me and decided to refresh herself with it. Reo was having her usual bright sunshine energy, Mikki was being an Ikkemen far away from me competing with Natsu. The bright wave of Hoshigumi energy was filling the room, and you could feel the love.

Kurenai came back on stage, dressed entirely in white and we all knew what that meant. The final song was A piece of courage, from Scarlet Pimpernel. God does she LOVES that show most ardently. It was her only lead shinko role and her first Grand theater show as a Top Star, she always seemed to live her best life as Percy. She always look so hopeful when she sings this song, it is VERY touching. Special metion to Aachan who sang it as well at her music salon, if it's not being soulmate I don't know what is.

She got a curtain callback and sang Goodbye from Catch me if you can. Yes, she did that again. As if it wasn't enough from the sayonara show and every other opportunity given to her to sing this. I can honestly say a cried a river again and that I'm in a love hate relationship with that song.

This woman doesn't know what to say to her audience, even thought we made her come back twice. She just told us to go home and that it was over in her lovely kansaiben, I love it. ♡

The show was really fun and I'm really happy I got to go, I hope I didn't forget anything. They rehearsed after having to do one if not two performance a day , and only came out late at the night. They've all worked very hard in such a short amount of time, and the result was GREAT. Kurenai Yuzuru is a real entertainer, a star and she adores it. She puts so much love and energy in her work, it's truly admirable. I'm delighted to have been able to follow her career until now and I'm very glad I focused my attention to the wobbly Mercutio many years ago. She made me cry, laugh and dream. I love her SO much.

My final words are going to be her motto:

Never give up!! ☆

#kurenai yuzuru #takarazuka revue #takarazuka #hoshigumi #kisaragi ren #kizaki reo #shirotae natsu #tenju mitsuki #my messy thoughts #i love her so muuuuuch

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