#and i should avoid naps tomorrow bc i have to wake up early the next day too... URRRRRGHHHHHHH

[colesterstrudel]

Late Nights/Early Mornings

Michael Cole/Reader: The new coffee shop owner takes issue with the noise coming from your club down the street. But that’s not all he has an issue with. Fluff bc idk how to write anything else anymore lmao

Tagging @paintedneverland @merchfreak  @ilovesamizayn 

One of the hardest things about owning and running your own club was that the musical acts you often got to play for you never knew when to leave. More often than not, you would have to usher them out in the wee hours of the morning, wanting nothing more than to go home and get some rest yourself. 

Today was no different. The club had officially closed hours ago, and usually you would still be in the office doing paperwork and getting things ready for the night to come. Instead, you were attempting to get the band you’d hired for the night to finally leave the drum set alone. You were sure you could only take so many more random drum fills before your head exploded, but none of them seemed to be fazed by it. 

“Let us know if you ever want us back!” the singer yelled over his shoulder as they finally walked out and down the street together. 

You didn’t reply, just waved them off before turning back into the club to grab your bag and locking the door. When you stepped outside, yanking at the door to ensure it was secure, you turned to see a stranger standing at the door to the coffee shop next door, eyes focused on the band that was still slowly making their way down the street. 

“Do you know how late it is?” He asked, voice cool as his eyes still settled on the rowdy musicians. “You should probably learn to control your employees instead of letting them wake the whole street up so late,” he continued, turning to look at you. 

“Sorry, grandpa.” You knew it was late - or rather early - but sarcasm dripped from your voice as your eyes studied the older man. He was impeccably dressed, his salt and pepper hair cropped short. His button up shirt was tucked into nice slacks, a patterned tie around his neck. Vaguely, you remembered the coffee shop you frequented on early mornings like this one was sold to a new owner and had been closed for a week in order for the change to occur. You had to be looking at the new owner. 

“Grandpa? Just how old do you think I am?” Now he sounded indignant, and you couldn’t help the smirk on your face as you finally stepped away from the door to your club and walked closer to the coffee shop - and the new owner. 

“Old enough to complain about a little bit of noise.” You rolled your eyes at him, nodding to the coffee shop. “You open this morning? I need some caffeine so I can keep on causing a ruckus, annoying all the elders in the community.”

“The shop’s closed,” he answered quickly, turning on his heel and opening the door. 

“That’s fine. I’ll just wait out here til you’re open!” 

He paused mid-step, sighing. “Come on,” he grumbled, holding the door open and allowing you to walk inside in front of him.

“The old owner knew my order by heart. It’s okay if you can’t quite do the same, though. I know you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” The smile on your face was sickly sweet as the owner glared at you from behind the counter. He wasn’t even that old, you knew that much just from speaking to him, but you couldn’t stop yourself from poking the proverbial bear. It didn’t help that he caught you on a bad morning, when your headache was already forming and you wished you had been in bed hours before. 

Still, something about the cold glare in his grey eyes was both entertaining and intriguing, and as he made your coffee, you couldn’t help but think about how they’d look if they were warmer, coupled with a smile rather than the grimace he was directing at you. 

---

You managed to avoid running into the new owner of the coffee shop for the next few days, the club closing on time allowing you to make it home long before the coffee shop’s doors ever opened. 

Now, though, paperwork had taken hours to do once the last customer finally left and you were finally locking the door at 5:45. You stifled a yawn as you yanked the door, ensuring it was secure, before your eyes focused on the lit up windows of the coffee shop. The allure of coffee drew you in, even if you weren’t necessarily looking forward to an interaction with the shop’s grumpy new owner. 

Even still, a small smile came to your face as you walked towards the door as you recalled just how grumpy you made him. Maybe a cup of coffee and a bit of verbal sparring would be enough to keep you awake long enough to make it home safely. 

Before you’d even consciously made the decision to, you were opening the door to the coffee shop. It was empty, quiet, but you still saw the owner bustling around behind the counter. He was impeccably dressed yet again, but the sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled up to his elbows and he had an apron around his waist. 

Any question you had about what he was doing behind the counter when he had no customers was answered when he turned to face you as you stepped in front of the cash register. He held a cup in his hand, pushing it across the counter towards you. 

“Caramel dirty chai,” he said, fighting back a smile at the surprised look on your face. “I guess this old dog can learn a few new tricks.”

Your eyes narrowed just slightly as you took in the scene before you, your hands already digging into your wallet for your debit card. As he took it from your hand, you noticed the name tag on his shirt.

“Aren’t you a little overdressed to be slinging coffee beverages all day, Michael?” You asked, taking your card and drink from him. 

“What would you prefer I wear? Skinny jeans?” His eyes raked down your body, taking in your ripped skinny jeans before meeting your eyes again. 

“Please, grandpa, as if you even know where to buy skinny jeans. Or any jeans, for that matter.” And then you turned to leave, ignoring Michael’s quiet laugh behind you. 

---

Two days later and you knew you were going to run into Michael long before it ever happened. The band you’d contacted to perform tonight had come highly requested, but just as loud and hard to control after hours as the one the day you met Michael. They finally left the club at 6 in the morning, stumbling down the road, and you took a moment to sit at the bar and take a deep breath. 

You were exhausted, to put it simply, and you didn’t think you had it in you to spar with Michael, not today. But you knew he’d be grumpy about the noise and you needed coffee if you didn’t want to slump over on the sidewalk and fall asleep on your way home. Taking another deep breath, you grabbed your things and stepped out into the early morning. 

You’d barely taken a step away from the door, too preoccupied with putting your keys in your bag to notice there was a man standing right in front of you until you ran into him. His hands reached out to grab your arms and hold you steady, keeping you from falling, and you clutched onto his arms before finally looking up at him. 

Michael was here, of course, and beneath the concern in his eyes at your stumble was thinly veiled annoyance.

“I know, I know,” you grumbled, tearing your eyes away from his and taking a step back. “It was loud and annoying and don’t I have respect for anyone else on the street?” Your voice was mocking, even through the sigh you let out as you scrubbed your face with your hands. “Please, can we save the lecture for later? I just really need some coffee.”

Michael didn’t say anything, just listened as you rambled. With a small smile, he held his arm out to gesture you forward, resting his other hand on the small of your back as you walked with him towards his coffee shop. 

“Are you sure you’ll be able to make it home okay?” Michael asked, all earlier signs of annoyance at the loud music coming from your club gone as he left you propped up again the customer side of the counter to go around and make your drink. 

“I’ll be fine,” you assured him through a yawn, waving him off. “I just need some caffeine.”

You let your eyes droop as you waited for your coffee, and before you knew it you were being ushered towards the table closest to the counter. Trying to shrug Michael off and ensuring him that you were fine was a waste of your time and energy as he refused to let you go until you were safely in your seat. 

“You were asleep on your feet,” he told you, voice low as if to let you rest. “At least sit here for a while and drink your coffee before you head home.” 

“Whatever you say, gramps,” you muttered through yet another yawn, bringing the coffee cup he placed in front of you to your lips. He laughed, shaking his head before walking back behind the counter again. 

As he worked, your eyes were focused solely on him. He was dressed almost too well yet again, but you thought it suited him. Despite the jokes about his wardrobe, it was hard for you to picture him in anything else. You watched, distracted, as the muscles in his arms flexed when he wiped the counter down. Vaguely, your brain registered the music playing softly over the speakers before your head hit your arms crossed on the table and you were fast asleep. 

---

“Your coffee’s cold,” came a teasing voice from above you coupled with a fresh cup of coffee being placed in front of you. 

With a groan, you sat up, wincing at the crick in your neck. “How long was I out?” Your eyes were bleary and you knew you could fall back asleep in just a moment, but the coffee had your full attention. 

“Just an hour,” Michael assured you, sitting down across from you. “I thought it’d be best if I let you rest here so I wouldn’t find you laid out on the sidewalk later.”

“Oh, I bet that was great for your business. A person half dead on the table, what a conversation starter.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s been a slow morning.”

“Well, thanks for the coffee and the nap,” you smiled, standing up and grabbing your coffee from the table. “But I really should get home.”

“See you tomorrow?” Michael asked, standing up as well to move back behind the counter.

“Tomorrow,” you nodded, heading out the door.

---

Over the next few weeks, you and Michael settled into a nice routine. Now, when it was a little too loud over at the club in the wee hours of the morning, Michael would try his hardest to maintain his disappointed glare, and your grumbled “whatever, grandpa” as you snatched the coffee cup from his hand turned his glare to a warm smile. You liked it, you admitted to yourself, liked the fact that he was so warm and inviting. The anger and annoyance you felt towards him at first was melting just as fast as his own was towards you, and you were glad for it. 

He had taken to showing up to the coffee shop earlier than usual, making sure he was open when you were heading home. And on days when you were at the club late, he’d bring your coffee to you. Of course, that never stopped you from stopping into the shop later when you were on your way home for another cup of coffee and just a moment of reprieve in his company. 

It was working out great for you, this friendship with Michael. And despite its rocky beginnings, it was really flourishing. Already, you were too used to his presence in your life everyday, the warmth in his eyes when he handed you a cup of coffee or saw you off on your way home to think about your life being any other way. 

And though you didn’t think of yourself as the pessimistic type, waiting for the other shoe to drop, you weren’t altogether surprised when things suddenly went south. 

It happened out of nowhere. You were standing outside the club, talking to an old friend who had come by to play that night. Elias was talking animatedly with his hands, his guitar case slowing him down only slightly. He told you all about his upcoming tour, how he would be gone for six months. You wrapped him up in a hug, telling him how proud of him you were. He had been your best friend for years, always trying to make it in the music industry, and it seemed like he was finally living his dream. 

But over his shoulder, you saw the coffee shop’s  lights go out, the sign flip to closed, and you were distracted as Elias finally walked away. You wanted to go check on Michael, see if everything was okay but there was a voice telling you not to, that it’d be more trouble than you could deal with right now, so you left. 

And when Michael’s face haunted your dreams that morning as you slept, you managed to push it aside. At least for now.

---

All those weeks of camaraderie, of spending as much time as you could with Michael in the mornings before you had to go home and get some rest, all of them ended up meaning, apparently,  nothing. Or as close to nothing as they could get. 

You knew Michael was in the coffee shop, despite the sign always being flipped to ‘closed’ on your way home in the mornings. He never came down to the club, either, instead ensuring that the distance he created between the two of you was upheld. 

After weeks of the silent treatment, of pretending that you didn’t miss seeing Michael everyday, making fun of him for his always meticulously coordinated suits, you put a plan into motion. You had a record of every musical act that performed for you, and if you thought about them hard enough, you could remember which of them were truly raucous, which ones could bring Michael out of the hiding he’d sentenced himself to. So you set about making calls, filling the club’s schedule up with the rowdiest musicians you had ever hired. 

It only took five days to get his attention. 

You invited the band from the first day you met him to come back, preparing yourself for the headache that was sure to come from their presence. Even still, a headache was a small price to pay if it got Michael to speak to you again. You missed him, which was strange enough for you in its own right, but you wouldn’t be the one to bridge the gap. If he wanted to act like a child, well, you knew how to play that game. 

The night had wound down, the band still on stage, drunk and loud with their instruments. As a drum fill filled the air followed by feedback on the speakers, you held back a groan. But when someone pounded on the door, the grimace on your face turned to a grin. 

“Do you know how late it is?” His words were out before you’d even opened the door fully, his eyes cold as he glared at you. 

“I don’t know, grandpa, but I’m sure you could tell me.” This was the most annoyed you’d ever seen him, and you couldn’t hide the smile on your face. He had played right into your hands. 

“Could you just once be mindful of the way your actions affect others?”

“Oooohhh, like you’ve been these past few weeks?” The words were biting, despite the cheeky smile on your face as you locked eyes with Michael, tilting your head to the side just slightly.

The silence stretched between the two of you for longer than you were technically comfortable with, when there was a crash from inside the club. With a sigh, you turned your back on Michael and walked inside, finding two of the members on the ground, laughing as a third attempted to pull them up. “Alright, guys, I think it’s time for you to head home.”

They filed out, thanking you for bringing them back and letting you know their schedule was clear if you needed them again, and then it was silent inside and you were alone. You were sure Michael had made his way back to the coffee shop, content with pretending you were never friends, like you were just some annoying stranger down the street. 

With a sigh, you grabbed your things and headed for the door, ready to go home. What you didn’t expect was to see Michael, once again standing outside your door, this time with a coffee in hand. 

“I think we should talk,” is all he said, reaching out to hand you the cup. 

Silently, you grabbed the coffee from him and ushered him to follow you back inside the club. You made a beeline for the bar, setting your stuff down and slouching onto a stool. 

“Well?” You said, finally, after the silence had stretched on between the two of you. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Michael standing near the door, hands in the pockets of his slacks. 

“I saw you with your boyfriend a few weeks back,” he said suddenly, eyes roaming the club but refusing to look at you. “And I - well, it doesn’t matter.”

“My boyfriend?” You laughed, shaking your head at him. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Michael’s eyes darted toward your own for just a moment before moving away again. “Oh.”

“Is that what this was all about? You shut me out because you thought I had a boyfriend?” You were off the stool before you could think twice about it, walking over to him, forcing him to meet your gaze. “Why?”

Michael closed his eyes, his head falling back slightly as he sighed. “I think you know why. Not that it matters, it’s inappropriate. I’m much too old for you.”

“Yeah, okay, grandpa. You’re acting like you’re in your 80’s, like you’re about to be put in a nursing home,” you rolled your eyes at his dramatics, stepping even closer to him. “And you’re so incredibly dense.”

And then your hand fisted in his tie, pulling him closer so you could press your lips to his. His hands were out of his pockets in a flash, settling on your hips and pulling you closer to him. 

When he finally pulled back moments later, his eyes were closed and his breathing was slightly labored. “Come on, I’ll let you make me another coffee and you can tell me all about how enamored you are with me.”

“As if the free coffee doesn’t tell you enough?” He quirked an eyebrow at you, waiting as you gathered your things and the two of you walked out of the club. 

“I mean, it’s a start.”

#wwe fic #wwe fanfic #michael cole fic #michael cole fanfic #okay i kinda hate it but also at the same time i do not so #do with that what you will #also pls maybe read it bc i thrive off of validation okay bye

[nikole-kephir]

ILY and I hope it's okay to send you a prompt? A works in a haunted flower shop B is a recent ghost, so he knows tech and likes to send texts on A's phone when he's not looking A is scared but eventually calms down B drops hints about his death in the flower shop but doesn't say much lots of angst and pining and trying to do the right thing in the face of sacrifice with a bitter sweet ending... Hurt me fam💔❤️💙💔

I am not a writer, but I will try for a fan who loves me ;)

There a slight changes, but all to feed the need for bittersweet whump

*warning* English is not my native language

 Keith was glad that he was able to get the job, even when flowers were notpart of his interest. "As long as you can distinguish a rose from a tulip,it will go well" were the last words he got from Shiro when he was pushedout of the truck and left in the dust.

The interview was a week ago. The shop itself has an antique farmer´s flairin the middle of the city. In secret he already calls it the witch hut, and hisboss fits the image perfectly, a small blonde gremlin with messy short hair anddimples hidden behind a big pair of circled glasses. She was looking forsomeone good looking to work in the shop so she does not have to deal withcostumers. The interview was basically him sitting around and the girl runningthrough the shop and bumping against all edges she passed on her way whilesorting stuff and mumbling curses. The windows of the shop were directed south-west so the rays of theafternoon sun lit up the dusty air and revealed the flowers in an orangeaccent, sitting in antique buckets of a silvery kind of metal. The potted ones were outside on a cart and framed the store window with theclassic handwritten words "flowershop" like a Renaissance paintingfrom the lavender violets to white roses in different sizes and all thedifferent shades of green made it more like a beet in the middle of the asphaltdesert. All  interior as the cash register is from the Victorian era. And onthe table is a slim vase of craved crystal glass which holds a beautifulradiating blue rose. The smell of humid air fills the room with a lot of different sweet flavorsof the flowers.

 Keith pushes open the wooden door with a glass window and the bell rings,accompanied by a groan behind the counter, "five minutes too early" came a raspy voice, a pair of swollenblue eyes under a brunette tuff of hair peeked over the counter. Keith held his breath and they stared into each others eyes in silence.Keith notices swollen eye bags and the reddened nose. "Uhm, name´s Keith, I am the new guy. Honestly, I thought that I wouldbe the only one who is working for Katie?" The other boy dashed forwardand halted in front of him abruptly, leaned in and whispered in his ear"don´t call her like that, except you want to wake the gremlin. Call herPidge". Keith raises his eyebrows and turned his face to the stranger who wasclose, like really close so their noses almost touched. The other guy had asoft tan and such a beautiful smooth skin, and his smiling lips looked so soft.Keith noticed himself that he was staring and felt his ears turning hot whichare thankfully hidden by his excuse of a haircut, and turned his head to thecounter and took a step towards it. "So uh, as the new guy, can you showme the ropes a little? I have never worked with flowers before." He turnedback to the silent stranger. The guy looked suddenly very sad, his hand covering his mouth. Then helooked up to Keith and a smile came back, but not reaching his eyes"Name´s Lance by the way. And yes, I can teach you stuff." and hemoved to the counter, passing Keith.

Keith has to admit, that working with flowers requires a lot of basic knowledgein botanies which he has not in the slightest, growing up as a desert rat. Lanceshands moved around very elegant, caressing each stalk, and ripping the lower leafsin very fast moves. It was hypnotizing and the voice did sth to him, hecouldn´t really place. Around 3PM was Pidge shuffling through the front door straight to thebackroom which was labeled "boss only" and "don´t dare todisturb", hidden under a pile of books she carried. There was not one costumer that day and Keith was thankful for it and allthe time he could spend alone with Lance. And he was glad that he was warned about all the quirks of his boss, so thereis no danger to get buried alive on the very first day.

Normally Spring has warm days and cold nights, but it was one of the warmerones, with clouds keeping the warmth like a blanket over the land. He remembersthe phantom warmth of Lance on his cheek. So this is what you would call 'Loveat first sight'. After all those years he is finally able to open a new chapterin his life and it starts with Lance. As he is new in town and the shop closed really late for their private lessons,he promised Lance to write him a message when he reached home. The whole way he thought about of what to write him, but decided for ashort 'made it home'. If  Keith is sureabout something, then it´s him sucking at flirting. And he does not even knowIf Lance even likes guys. The next day he almost ran over Pidge who actually seemed to work in thenight and was about to leave the shop to get a nap at home. And he was waitingfor Lance who came on time and looked a lot more healthier than yesterday. It was a normal day, a handful costumers visited and the rush hour time wasa literal hell with floods of orders for the next day. Keith and Lance willhave to work a lot overtime to prepare for tomorrow.

This goes on for a couple of weeks even with the "I came back home inone piece" until one day Lance is suddenly not coming to work and he evendoes not answer his phone. When he asked Pidge she turned sad and only mumbled"it´s this time of the year again" and assures him that Lance willcome back safe and sound. It´s one of these `no costumers`days where Keith daydreams behind thecounter, his gaze wanders to the radiating blue rose on the counter which didnot change the slightest since the first day he started working in this shop.His hand reaches for a leaf to look If it´s made out of plastic, bc the colorseemed so unnatural blue for a rose.

Only a scream and another pair of hands shaking him wildly took him out ofthe shock. Pidge looked worried and Keith still can´t really convert his handgoing through an object.

His Hand was not able to touch a f****** rose. "I recommend not doing that ever again" said Pidge while slumpinginto the chair beside him. "What the-", "It´s a souls flower" Pidge answered fast. Keith looks at her, searching for an answer that considers the laws ofphysics. "You know that I have to sell sth else to be able to pay myemployees.", she starts messaging her neck while moving her head and aloud cracking sound followed with a moan of relieved pain. "Don´t laugh orfreak out, but I am a witch and my field is the spiritual realm. My costumerswant to be able to wander between the realms to talk with the dead or get rid oftheir regrets and I am able to make it possible...... under specialcircumstances" Keith glances to the flower, Pidge sights. "Lance iscurrently costumer and employee at the same time, regarding that flower I amnot allowed to tell you more bc I protect the privacy of my clients. I onlyrecommend you to keep your hands off that thing bc it can literally killyou.", "Is Lance dead?" Pidge looks out of the window and gets up from her chair "I think youcan go home for today"

Keith does not know how to handle all these fantasy like information. Pidgeis a witch and Lance is a Ghost? Already dead? Keith is not able to sleep thatnight, his thoughts are racing in his head and it is the first night where hefeels unable to write Lance a short message. This must be a dream and he willwake up from this nightmare and goes to work the next day to see Lance likenothing happened. He had a weird dream that night. He replayed all the situations withLance, remembered all interactions and how Lance always avoided touching him.As If he feared that Keith would find out while Lance would glide through him.

Lance was waiting in front of the shop, his jeans wet by the end what theumbrella was not able to shield from the rain. When he caught Keith in hissight, he ran over to him. He looked like how Keith felt, swollen eyes,irritated skin around his nose and a broken voice calling his Name. Funny thata ghost changes the appearance according to his mood and feelings. "How long?" Keith looked at Lances pained expression. "HOWLONG?" Keith regretted raising his voice after seeing Lance flinch by therepeated question. "four years, since yesterday" so this is why hewasn´t at work.

"How?"

Lance falls on his knees,, the Umbrella falling to the side, revealing himto the rain and he breaks out in ugly crying incomprehensible sorries leavinghis quivering lips. It hurts Keith seeing him like that, he takes a stepforward, his umbrella shielding now both.

Lance reaches for him but his hands just glide through Keith´s legs

"You shouldn´t be sorry" Keith says after the sobs calmed "Iguess there is a really unpleasant story behind you turning into a ghost". Lance went still and looked up, fear in his eyes

"Keith, I am not the ghost"

The world crashed around Keith in a second, his own umbrella suddenlygliding through his own hand, Lance shielded himself of the falling object. Normally he should feel the droplets of the rain on him, the umbrella whichis going through his legs, but he feels nothing. He looks through his palms to Lance, tuning transparent really fast andloosing consciousness.

-Four years earlier

The early rays have been bugging Keith for a while, but the motivation toget up went down to the cellar when Lance is embracing him in his sleep.Thankfully it´s the weekend and nobody waits for them to get to work. And theflowershop was nothing but a farce for Pidges actual job. Lance on the otherhand got an office job. After all he is not good with flowers. It took Keith 2years to master the basic wisdom of plants. After an hour the rays wandered offKeith´s face and are now bugging Lance. Now it might be a good time to get up.Keith looked at the clock. 10:20, quite the lazy day so far. Keith got up andtook Lance piggyback with him to the bathroom, where he let him down the toiletcover. Keith left shortly to get them their clothes and put them on. Lance neededassistance bc his brain takes a while to connect with the limbs in the morning.Keith prepared himself to get their coffee from Lance´s favorite coffee shopdown the street when he heard a whine escaping the bathroom. It has definitelysth to do with his morning routine. Keith peeked over through the door from thefloor so the boots wouldn´t dirty the recent cleaned tiles. He found Lancesitting on the bathtub edge now with an empty cream bottle. Lance throws it at him. "Get a new one" Keith managed to barleycatch it. "You know that I only wanted to bring coffee and the rest of theday was booked for the couch with you?", "Get that cream, without, Iam not going to leave this small bathroom." Keith sighted, he knows thatarguing with Lance ends 80% in a children’s quarrel, he took the keys of thecar "gas is almost empty" was Lance singing from the bathroom. Keithchanged to the motorcycle keys, grabbing the helmet. "I am going on anadventure for you, do I get a good luck kiss?", "only the successfulknight deserves one" both laughed at it and Keith left the apartmentclosing the door behind him. The ride took Keith 20 minutes to Lances favoriteshop, all packed he took off and left for a shortcut over the highway.

It happened fast.

The tire of a truck exploded and send the 8tons on the way to ram Keithinto the oncoming traffic. Keith never made it back home to his prince

 -back to now

Keith came to. He heard the whispers of Pidge and Lance in the Background.

“Four years”, both went silent.

Lance came to his view "you remember now?"

Keith nods, "so your regret bought me back to you?" Lance raisesthe blue rose to his lips and it merged into his skin. "My knight", hebows down and they kiss, hands caressing the hair of another. "Don´t youdare to follow too fast" were Keith’s last words while he dissolves intothin air…

[courtneymayhem]

Found this gem from my trip

March 30, 2017 I am definitely still on CT time even though I only took a short nap when I got here yesterday and went to bed at a decent hour after walking around for 4 hours. I slept until 2 o'clock London time, which is 10am at home. I randomly woke up at 3:30 am and didn't fall asleep until 6am. That's when I sort of decided to skip my Stonehenge day trip. Part of it was avoidance behavior bc I didn't want to interact with my roommates and part of it was discomfort with the idea of navigating so far away from the city. As much as I wanted to see it, I don't really regret sleeping in (a faux pas of traveling). I obviously needed the sleep and I had more time to explore London, which is the reason I am here at all. March 31, 2017 I wanted to walk to Westminster alley and go to the free war museum on the way, but ended up strolling through a beautiful park and ended up walking an hour in the opposite direction through a residential community. I stand by my previous assessment. Observing the locals is by far more stimulating than the tourist spots. Pretty much everyone I met was nice. One gentleman passed by me twice and asked if I lived in the area bc he thought he recognized me. I said no but that we had just walked past each other prior and he smiled and told me to have a nice walk. Wandered around until I wound up in Westminster anyway and only came across two rude Brits. A couple of women who acknowledged my request for directions and proceeded to ignore me. I've seemed to have developed a sense of direction though and didn't need them. The architecture is UNREAL. Dad would love it. My parents are saviors and added the international unlimited plan to my line. It's a little pricey, but essential. I didn't realize how vital my iPhone would be. Citymapper is an absolute lifesaver. And I know my mom tracks my on Find my Friends. My original plan was to buy a local SIM card, as advised by many travel blogs and my cellphone service provider, but it was such a rip off. I misheard the salesman and thought I was getting 1GB of data but it was only 50mb. I used that in one day! And after that I kept getting texts saying the price per additional MB was increasing. Total. B.S. never use Vodafone. April 1, 2017 I continue to wake up at weird hours but am definitely getting better. Had to get up at 830 today to be ready for check out at 10. Hopefully that will put me on a good sleep schedule. And I definitely dehydrated the first two days. I need to be better about filling my water bottles. And eating. I have been in London for...24 hours now, and I have eaten a 6" meatball sub from subway and a chewy granola bar. Half of it was being tired and not hungry and the other part was idk. Currently trying to charge up all my devices. Tourist mistake #1: the outlets here have on/off switches. I have been waiting for my devices to charge for an hour. Never turned on the switch 🙄 glad I have the time to wait. I am going to hop on the bus and check out Buckingham palace before I head to the airport. I have almost all of the money I put in my Oyster card left still bc I have walked everywhere thus far so I want to use it. And I get a little more exploring with limited time. I am only three days into my trip and I already feel like I have learned a lot. Traveling alone is...quiet and a little daunting at times. I have moments of insecurity about my ability to navigate transportation and flights and reservations and money. But it's not as hard as it seems. And I know that I will achieve a new level of confidence by the end of this adventure. I am beginning to realize that this is exactly what I am meant to do at this point in my life. I am where I am supposed to be. *Also April 1, 2017 Jk this day is a wash. Lol. Being my last day in London, I set out to find fish and chips. I have been looking for it since I arrived bc my mom insists that it will change my life, but the tantalizing noms have eluded me. I literally starved myself bc I knew that as soon as I ate something, I would come across it in my travels. FISH AND CHIPS WAS THE ONLY GOAL OF THE DAY! Instead of walking aimlessly, I decided to ride a double decker, an experience in itself. The combination of starvation and motion sickness did me dirty and I puked all over myself and the bus. Luckily my stomach was so empty it was mostly just bile. Obviously I got off the bus. I had to half strip in the street bc the puke got into my camisole and I was in a residential neighborhood with no public restrooms. But I had my whole pack with me so I cleaned myself up pretty well considering. Even that couldn't detour me from my mission to find the fish and chips though and I marched onward. Unfortunately I marched straight into a ghetto ass neighborhood. I didn't feel unsafe per se, but I was definitely on guard. Still, I could find no fish and chips and I worried about my blood sugar so I ate my second subway sub in London. My adventure did bring me to meet a very pleasant gentleman who sat at the table with me. We never even exchanged names, but we talked about the political climate of the world, Brexit and Trump mostly. And when it was clear to him that I was quite lost, he walked me to the train station and directed me to the best route to arrive at Gatwick airport. I had to abandon my fruitless search for fish and chips, but figured it best to cut my losses. I am not even going to bother explaining in detail how I ride the same train up and down the line looking for the airport. It was across the way from a ginormous green field with horses, so of course I was distracted. I got there eventually, and had some pleasant small talk with two beautiful women in the way. Hannah and... I forgot. Hannah reminded me of Caitlin so I remember her. The day continued to suck once I got to the airport. Gatwick has the WORST schematics of any airtime have ever seen. It was hell trying to find the check in counter. Normally I avoid checking in person, and I almost never check luggage, by printing my boarding pass at home, but the airline is Spanish and I couldn't figure out how, even if I did have a printer. Then security tells me I have too many liquids bc they have stricter policies than the US. So I went back to the check in counter. Waited in line. Checked the bag. Had to bring it to the oversized bag place bc it was a backback and might get stuck in the conveyor belt. And all three oversized bag counters had no idea which airline they represented. So that was annoying. AFTER ALL THAT I made it thru security and chilled in the terminal, which looked like a fucking mall and was totally ridiculous, bc the airline wouldn't post the gate for my flight until 30 minutes prior to boarding. Smooth sailing from there tho. Flight was fine. Got my bag and a taxi bc it was too late to try and figure out the transportation. My hostel was...a bit of a startle. I was spoiled in London. At night the location appeared sketchy, and the doorman was...eh. Not rude, but not a ray of sunshine. The key to my door has a certain knack to it that I couldn't really figure out until the next day and the rooms were TINY. Bathrooms weren't a sesspool, nor would I walk barefoot...or touch anything more than necessary. I got a kick out of the shower though. Two tiny little stalls with a curtain for a floor with at least 20 rooms and four people to a room. Fuck modestly tho. A shower is a shower. April 2, 2017 Funny how one day can shake your confidence. I had a sort of crappy day traveling from London to Barcelona yesterday and woke up disheartened today. Didn't really even muster up the enthusiasm to explore until the afternoon. April 3, 2017 Guess I didn't feel like writing yesterday. Glad I got out and about to shake off my funk. Barcelona really is gorgeous!! More beautiful than London by far. I could live very happily here. I only wish Spanish people were friendlier. I smile at people and they give me dirty looks. And the men are pigs. More so than usual. People complain about the prices but I think it's all very reasonable. I bought some fresh fruit, a soda, and a giant bottle of water for 3.4 E and now I'm sitting at a cute little umbrella having the most delicious chicken risotto ever for like ... 13 bucks. Why isn't American food this good?! Even made with frozen veggies, this dish is great. Served under a cabana on a gorgeous strip lined with palm trees. I wasn't particularly hungry but I want to see the nightlife. And show my French roommates that I'm not a shut in. They leave stupid early in the morning and come back crazy late. They probably think I never leave. I obviously do but it's amazing how time slows down when you're exploring. Sometimes it feels like I've been walking around all day but it's only 4 hours. I havent broken my habit of sleeping on. I felt guilty for a while, but I've realized that this is my journey and I can do what I want. I'm not a museum or church touring type. I honestly just enjoy absorbing the atmosphere and casually finding the sights on my own terms. I don't feel rushed and I don't feel like I'm missing out bc so much can be done in a short time. Plus Barcelona never sleeps so I can stay up and out as late as I want. The restaurants don't even close until midnight. The clubs don't even START until 2-3am. Too late for my taste. Thankfully I'm not really a clubber. I haven't even had anything to drink since I left home. It's not in the budget. Speaking of budget, I think I'm doing pretty darn well. All things included I have spent 350 (rounded up about 30 just in case) in 6 days including the first day, which was mostly spent in JFK or in the air. But money was spent so it counts! Well. I have eaten a real meal. Maybe not a traditional Spanish one. Idk. I never know what to order. But I'm going back to my room I think. Tomorrow I should go to the beach. It's literally right down the street. This location really is perfect. April 4, 2017 It wasn't a beach. It was port vell. Which I am only slightly disappointed about. I had no intention of laying on the beach or swimming, but Barcelona has reignited my creativity. I would have love to photograph a beautiful beach. I might attempt to climb montjuic, if I can figure out how to get there. I have heard that it's a brutal climb. Ive also heard the panoramic view is worth the effort. Currently I am sitting on a bench under a balm tree with my back to the ocean eating an orange I bought yesterday. I forgot how much I love the smell of the ocean. So many people are walking by all these beautiful things without really noticing. We take so much for granted in this world. How unappreciative we are to have become desensitized to it all. This is why I wanted to go on this trip. The sights and attractions are great, but it is so rare to find a quiet sense of wonder like I have on a bench at a busy intersection. I crave reaffirmation that life is more than ordinary if I am brave enough to seek out the extraordinary. I want this inner peace to grow strong like a nurtured muscle and always carry it with me. Between the change of diet and exercise, this trip will jump start my journey to a healthier body. And this journal will jump start a a life long journey to a healthier soul. On a lighter subject, my roommates were not French. They were from Belarus and spoke Russian. How I mixed that up I have no idea. They were such a cute couple: Iliad and ??? Literally. They were both hot AF. Their dream is to bike across the US from Atlantic to Pacific. But they left this morning and two new guys checked in. One of them is staying at the hostel bc he just got divorced and was running around to job interviews. Idk anything about the other. He ran away pretty quick. Doubt I'll really get to talk to either bc I'm leaving very late tonight. Sort of dreading the task of finding my way back to the airport. I have spent three days in Barcelona without needing transportation and I would hate to have to purchase a pass now. My moment of introspection is fading. Time to wander some more and continue my quest for inner tranquility. At least I know my way around now without a GPS. I discovered a whole new section of las ramblas! It's all twisty narrow side streets and boutiques. For the first time time flew by. I was in my zone photographing the streets. I love the mix of nature, modern, and traditional. This is probably the main tourist area and I only just discovered it. Lol. It doesn't matter bc nothing caught my eye. Although I did really love this one art gallery I found on a particularly quiet street. It only features local artists and the displays were beautiful! If I had the money and room to show them off I would buy one. I did get a business card however. I also think I made tourist mistake #3. The hostel cleaned out my bunk. I think I was supposed to check out this morning. But whatever. I'm already being charged I'm sure so I might as well stay until tonight. (False: hostel is super chill and let me keep my locker in my room until I'm ready to leave.) I'll chill out at the airport until my flight in the morning. So ready for Paris!! This trip is turning out to be pretty incredible. My favorite spot in Barcelona is a tucked away courtyard garden behind the public library. It smells like jasmine and you can't hear the city. I can tell it is a local hiding spot bc old men come to play life sized chess and students sit on the stone perimeter to do homework. Tourists pass through, but it's too perfect to breeze by IMO. Meandering slowly around the city today has easily been the best of my three days here, each better than the last. Idt it's possible to run out of things to see. Not even tourist areas, but just wandering through the maze of adorable side streets and shops. Every turn is basically a new street but it's impossible to get lost. Technically I didn't "accomplish" anything today, but I think I connected to the city more. Posing in front of monuments does nothing for me. This is where it's at. On the other hand, I'm ready to move on. Barcelona is amazing, but there are many more amazing places to see. Leading up to my departure from the states, everyone kept asking me why I would ever want to travel alone. YOURE A SOLO WOMAN! They would try and reason. Not only does that line of thinking disgust and infuriate me, but I also pity these people. Only someone who has completely shed the comfort of the familiar will understand the freedom that comes with embracing the bumpy road. I've always been laid back, but even I have had to roll with a few punches. Anything can happen: good or bad. It doesn't matter though because it hasn't happened yet. It's awe inspiring to know that I did this. I made this happen. I worked for it, planned it, and I'm doing it. I wish everyone could feel how I feel. It's a subtle, sustaining satisfaction but better than brief bursts of ecstasy. A last minute perusal of las ramblas found a nice Spanish restaurant. It looked authentic like online. Tiny portions of excellent food. Sort of pricey. I got the calamari tapa and 7 rings of fried squid cost 6.5 euros. In all fairness though, it was cut thicker than we do in the US and only lightly battered. It was very good with lemon and I am totally satisfied bc I have eaten close to nothing in a week, with that one exception. I also hailed my first cab! I think I looked like a natural 😉 but I also get the impression that the taxi I took LEAVING the airport when I got here ripped me off. Shouldn't cost 25% more to leave the airport than to get there. Lesson learned. Let's call it travel mistake #4 On to travel mistakes 5 & 6: i messed up the days for my hostel and had to check out (they would have let me stay, but I kinda just wanted to get going) and I got to the airport at 11PM for a 7AM flight. I intended to just nap in the terminal but the airport is taking a siesta. For real. There's no one here. I guess they don't have nighttime flights?!? Whatever. I have my kindle charged and aderall if I need to stay awake. April 5, 2017 Happiness is fleeting so what's the point. Minor existential meltdown in the airport at three AM. Can't decide if any of this is worth it. Enjoying all these beautiful places only really feels good in the present. Bliss becomes depression the moment the wonder of it all wears off and then I'm off to another city. I can't seem to stay present. But I keep trying to recapture happiness. As if happiness really existed. Even strangers ask me why I am so sad. I brush it off like I am tired. In truth I'm just tired of being sad. Omfg. Literally two seconds later and the most perfect song comes on "I hope you dance". Thanks universe. I needed this 😘 b/t the very uplifting songs that keep popping up and a review of the pictures I've taken so far, I think I've figured out why I love photography, amateur it may be. My photos are MINE. I took them bc I saw something inspiring and they always bring that feeling back. It doesn't matter if no one else "gets" them bc they're for me. I think the concept I struggle with is that there are no answers. I like answers. I like knowing how and why things are the way they are. But there is no reason. There is no god or higher power. Happiness is a snapshot. It only takes a second, but you hold onto it to get you through all the bullshit. Eventually your life is a collage of snapshots. And I think that's pretty cool bc they're the only things that matter in the end. So take your happiness while you can and self-sooth when you can't. Am I distancing myself? Omg sleep deprivation fucks me up. That was some heavy shit out of no where. Doesn't matter cause I'm in PARIS BABY!! Literally too tired to muster up an ounce of enthusiasm. I barely remember how I got here from the airport. I have an hour and a half to check in and then I'm sleeping. I can explore Paris at night. God DAYUM. French cops walk around with big guns. Why are all the foreign cops so hot... Went for a late night walk. Grody. Paris is dirty and the men are gross. Crêpe was good. Kinda scary at night. April 6, 2017 Paris has been a disappointment. Totally overrated. I'm glad I can say that I've been here and I have selfies with the Arch de Triumphe and the Effiel tower, but that's it. I didn't connect at all. There was no authenticity imo. I walked around for a good 6 hours and it didn't really impress me in the least. I was more impressed with the most amazing orange I have ever eaten. Literally orgasmic. And i ate a whole baguette. I never knew that bread could taste EVEN BETTER. Both of which I bought from a tiny market a few doors down from my hostel. Even so far removed from the city center, this area is my favorite. It's dirtier than the tourist spots but has more character. I have been propositioned by two men in my 1 + 1/2 days here. Like, really. One rando stopped me on the street and I have no idea what he was talking about. The other was a street artist I bought a couple doodles from. He was talking about how French men are different from American men bc the French make love with their tongue....and then he asked what his chances were. I said none. I was gay and that I was leaving now. I do really love this hostel tho. Might be my favorite. I showered and got pretty to socialize at the downstairs bar but ended up sitting on the canal balcony reading... April 7, 2017 Bit of an annoying mix up with my bus this morning but it worked out. I mean, then we sat in traffic forever and the driver stopped for a break but I'm in no hurry. Lol. Met a nice girl named Catherine. Hung out for the rest of the day. Spent fucking forever walking up and down these hilly streets looking for my hostel in bumfuck nowhere. Found it but decided to just stay closer to town. But god is Brussels beautiful. And the food is so good! April 8, 2017 Total in love with Belgium. 🇧🇪 the modern parts don't overwhelm the historical parts and everything is delicious. I walked around quite a bit with Caroline yesterday and got the lay of the land so today I only needed to retrace our steps to get back to all the fun stuff, plus a few new landmarks I didn't see before. I also spent some time checking out the shops. Thankfully they weren't as artificial as Barcelona or high end as Paris. I even found a cute little chocolate shop. I wish I could have bought the fresh candies in the display case, but they'd never survive until I get home so I bought several large bars for mom, dad, Jim, and Jill. And an extra. Maybe for me. Maybe for Karen or Kat. Idk yet. I should also get Kristina and kai something. She really is such a good person and she has had a hard life. Idk if she even realizes that tho bc it's all she's known. I don't know many people who could survive her life and still be so kind and... spiritual. She has a lot of faith in the universe. So rare nowadays and I love it, if for no other reason than to reflect on my life of relative comfort. And she would be so happy with anything. She just wants that damn penpal tho. I'll do that and pick up a little something. I think that's pretty much the extent of my friends list... lmao I really love this bar I found. Ita called Gecko and it's one of the only places not choked to death by tourists. I've been nursing a 50cl beer for almost two hours and continuing a book I started reading in the park across from the Grand Palace. The music is banging. Totally in my element. A little buzzed with great tunes and a beautiful city around me. This trip is amazing. Although I wasn't going to bc I'm not a waffle person, I do think I will try one before I go. I think I'll regret it if I don't. I didn't eat the waffle. So I went to Amsterdam on an empty tummy full of beer. Arrived late. April 9, 2017 Met two American girls at the hostel breakfast, Rachel and cassie. They are studying abroad in Italy. I might have talked Rachel into being Kristina's pen pal. They were pretty nice. Also ran into my roommate, Stacy, outside the hostel and walked around with her for a while. No where in particular. Just around the park and down some streets. Walked around and just enjoyed the city. The canals are beautiful! I could stroll around all day. I basically did! I walked ~15 miles today, although I did take a much needed, space cookie-induced rest midday. I went back out later to see the red light district at night. Dutch Fuckboy. Enough said. April 10, 2017 I'm ready for a chill day. Woke up tired from being out late with the Fuckboy and wasn't really motivated to explore Amsterdam anymore. I can't believe I only spent one day there and can feel so at home so quickly. Plus, it was really cold and looked like rain coming in so I decided to make the hour + journey to the bus station early. Glad I did bc I made a new friend. The girl sitting next to me in Starbucks was crying quietly so I started talking to her about schools in holland vs the US and whatever else came to mind. It worked. She stopped crying and we chatted for over an hour. Then she told me that she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday and we talked about that. She sincerely appreciated the conversation I think and I feel like I helped someone today. We are FB friends now and I told her that she can always vent to me. I hope she takes me up on my offer. She is a nice person and I know she will do well for herself. Lmao July 26, 2017 Guess I never finished narrating my European saga. Probably bc I went to Berlin next and had too much fun and made too many friends to talk about exsistentialism and philosophy and shit. Regardless, some retrospective musings: Hope I never forget Berlin. I'll definitely go back. Next time I will completely bypass Western Europe and just do the eastern half. Start in Berlin, Prague, Budapest, Slovenia, Croatia, etc. And travel SLOWER. Needed more than 4-5 days for Berlin BY FAR. Could do 10 in Berlin and 7 in Prague probs. Although, I still do want to hit up Ireland and Scotland. Maybe do those two with Iceland as a separate trip. Next year I'm thinking Brazil (already learning Portuguese). And Southeast Asia is on the list for sure. Plus a few smaller, domestic trips for long weekends: Niagra falls, the Caribbean, camping, etc. I definitely require a lot of travel to stay happy and to deal with this bullshit world we live in. I do kind of wish I had someone with the travel bug like me. And that can afford to go/save to go. I definitely battled with the difference between being alone vs being lonely. It was better when I started socializing. Idky i didn't in the beginning. I will see the world one part at a time or until mankind has destroyed everything.