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#and if he needed help brosca couldn't help him or protect him
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I just think about Brosca in Awakening a lot
#on top of Everything Else he's experiencing separation anxiety of the variety usually only experienced by small. mistreated chihuahuas.#its fine though hes fine. hes handling it.#its just that they've spent pretty much their every waking moment together for almost a year and a half now#like since they met in ostagar they've just. never been apart.#with a few exceptions that lasted. at max. 24 hours.#even before they were Together and like. even when they were broken up for a little bit before the landsmeet.#alistair was still always just Around. brosca forgot what it was like to just not have him nearby#hes being really normal about it though. a-okay.#but also alistair is very far away from him and doing very dangerous things#and if he needed help brosca couldn't help him or protect him#and if he died brosca wouldn't find out for weeks#he could be dead right now even. or dying. theres absolutely no way to know.#its fine though!#except also. even if neither of them dies or anything terrible like that.#there's no guarantee that their relationship will survive this first separation#what if he gets back and doesn't feel the same anymore? what if their relationship can't survive in real life#what if they only work in the context of being the last two wardens in ferelden during a blight?#what if they did all that just to find out that they can't be together? what if brosca loses him anyways?#its all good though! he feels fine :) today he only had one panic attack and only locked himself in the bathroom to cry twice#really great! hes coping so. soooo good.#so so good.
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