#and that really doesn't play well with my traumatized and miswired brain

[beskad]

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#i literally cannot with my job anymore #they've been laying people off in the thousands with 1 hour notices #and as someone who already struggles with PTSD and anxiety I'm already primed to be bracing myself for The Worst Case Scenario all the time #and now it's not an Irrational Fear TM because it's literally happening to people seemingly at random #new hire? gone. manager who's been with the company for 20+ years? gone. 7 years? gonw #like Jesus Christ just hit me already and get it over with i cannot handle the 'when's the blow going to land' tension and anxiety anymore #we don't even get paid well for the work we do #and this is like a Good Corporate Professional Job for a multi billion dollar bank????? #and most of us are still paycheck to paycheck despite making double the state minimum wage #i can't i just can't i feel another Total Meltdown coming on i stg #what is the POINT of doing my job well when I'm just as likely as anyone else to get fired same-day with no warning #why do well? why give a shit? #why improve? i could pour hours and hours and mental and emotional energy into it and still not have a job tomorrow #like it's always been a possibility because america is almost exclusively made up of at will employment #but now it's not a possibility. it's LIKELY. if not inevitable #and that really doesn't play well with my traumatized and miswired brain