#and to top it all of i haven't been successful teaching the kittens how to use the litter box l

[ii-zi]

I'm not in the most collected state of mind due how things are going rn but just a heads up

Due to unforeseen circumstances, and to my own misfortune, i wasn't able to get my baby cremated (not bc of a lack of support from yall but bc of home issues lol)

I'm busy rn and spacing out a lot bc I'm not coping well with how much shit I'm currently going thru lol but pls know all the kind words were immensely appreciated (and those who supported the cremation pls hmu so i remember to return the money when I come back online)

#im literally getting scolded so so so much and it's adding so much weight on top of it all #i lost one of the most precious people i had. few days later i lost my baby. mental & physical health steadily declining #the house is a mess. everything everyone says to me are complains about how much they hate being around me #and to top it all of i haven't been successful teaching the kittens how to use the litter box l #sushi keeps eating the litter 😭 #they're all resenting quesito's death a lot and need far more attention that i can give rn and it wears me out so much #so they go to the others for attention and only get rejected and it breaks my heart. so i can't help but give them more than i can #afford to lol im tired 24/7 n can barely do shit jdkfngsk but still getting scolded over it all ofc 👍 #my mom saw one of my drawings (i love drawing furniture lmao) and asked if it was mine in a v particular tone and idk what to #think abt it lol #on other news the fear of never getting a diagnosis is paralyzing 👍 #also im legitimately being gaslighted right on my face everyone keeps telling me how im misremembering everything and #making shit up and stuff and i know my brain's not working well but i still have enough function to trust it. i know im not crazy even if #they're so hell-bent in making me thing so.. #oh that's another issue too the paranoia has been going stronger than ever and it's wearing me out even more lol i really can't #give myself a break lol