#as opposed to the ways i think Specifically my 7th and 8th grade years really burned me out by introducing book reading quotas and the like

[kamikothe1and0nly]

Having a science olympiad dilemma. So, you see, i was part of a division b (6th, 7th, and 8th grade and up to 5 9th graders as opposed to division c with 9th, 10th, and 11th graders and up to 7 12th graders. i'll probably use that distinction--or like div b/div c because scioly people abbreviate everything--a lot so it'll probably be a good one to remember) team but then covid hit so i'm left not knowing how i should have everybody try out for the team because it isn't consistent.

Why would it ever be consistent?

So we've got three options 1. This was my first year's tryout. We took a test on 6th 7th and 8th grade science plus a /lot/ of bio. The only thing i specifically remember is that there was a cell diagram on there. I would scale that up for a div c setting. Then i think the same day we took another test on like scientific reasoning. Like you get this table what's it telling you? Then the third test a couple of days later was basically you get this pile of materials to build something out of that would fulfill these requirements. All i remember is that there was a fan for those and i did not do well. There's a reason why i don't do buildits

2. This was my second year's tryout, a grand fucking total of a week before our first invitational. (That's not how that's supposed to work btw. I may have gotten a medal on one event but i did it the previous year so shush) Well that might've been our first practice but you get the idea. Basically the coach picked out 3 events and made a really easy practice test out of them. I know it was anatomy and physiology and reach for the stars (which is only a div b event, but astronomy in div c is very similar) but i can't remember the third one

3. Number three. I haven't actually done this yet but in like two weeks i can fact check this because this is how i've /heard/ it works. The callout's in a week and a half so i'll have more info then. I know there's a signup sheet thanks to the internet and I know you have to take a test on the events you want to be in but after that idk. I'll know more soon. I just have labor day weekend in there and i want to make progress over that.

3 would probably be the most challenging for me while 2 would be pretty easy. Practice tests for scioly events exist, it's just a matter of googling for them. 3 would also probably be the best for the story so the readers get a feel for what fitz's and Dex's events are going to be like but then it's the game of do i have them try out for like 7 events each or just pretend like they'd only try out for 3 and then make it onto those 3 they wanted? Idk

sorry about the monster-length ask i'm surprised i didn't hit the character limit or smth but do you have any thoughts? And please don't just say whatever i think will be best because i need other people's opinions. I will be throwing at this at several people just to see what the consensus is.

I honestly don’t know. You could make up for own way for the tryouts, it just sounds like a bunch of tests. If you don’t want to do that I think if 2 is going to the easiest for you go with that.

ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ



[borrowedfeathers]

Also, here are my answers for the first four Novembutch prompts:

1. I probably was aware of butchness when I first learned about what being gay was — I was about 9, and my mom used Melissa Etheridge as an example of someone who was gay — but the first butch I knew was my middle school vice principal, Ms. S. She was a pretty classic butch with a blonde crew cut, glasses and a slew of plaid shirts, and she was in a long-term relationship with Ms. M, the health teacher. I’d consider Ms. M a kind of sporty femme, and she carried and gave birth to their child when I was in 7th grade. (I specifically remember that since during her maternity leave we were freed from the awful abstinence-only textbooks required by Illinois law at the time and our long-term sub let us watch Monty Python in class.)

I had some conflicting feelings about Ms. S because, as is typical, middle school was my most conformist phase in terms of gender and sexuality (also, my time in middle school coincided with GWB’s first term, so that gives you a sense of the general climate), but I always trusted her and felt safe with her. Even when I had some crassly voyeuristic thoughts wondering what she and Ms. M got up to outside of school, I knew she had my best interests at heart and she was the first person I went to when I was being sexually harassed by this awful boy in health class, it meant a lot to me that she believed me and validated my feelings. The next year, in 8th grade, I was her office assistant for a couple months after I broke my elbow and couldn’t go to gym class, and I feel like she appreciated the work I did for her. She was a big unconscious influence on me that I’ve only realized in recent years. I think she still works there (and now her daughter must be in high school, whoa) so at some point I should tell her all this. I’m going back to my hometown for Thanksgiving so that might be a good time.

2. I started thinking of myself as butch after seeing the influence for me that was set by my best friend Caroline @floorforever, and after I began identifying as a nonbinary lesbian about a year ago once I determined a way to reconcile my non-cis feelings with my affinity with lesbian history in a way that made sense for me. I was worried at first that I was copying her, but there’s certainly no butch quota in the world — and if anything, there need to be more of us! Another thing that led me to embrace butchness was realizing that it need not be plain or drab — I’m a flamboyant, fey sort of butch and while I do love my flannels, I’m glad that the lumberjack look isn’t the only way to be butch out there.

3. Yes, very much so. I often feel a certain degree of insecurity, even as a butch, for sometimes wishing that I could pass as a man in certain public situations, mostly for purposes of safety. And I’ve had some degree of bottom dysphoria since I was five. I’m very grateful that I have some physical characteristics that lend themselves better to stereotypical androgyny like being relatively tall (I’m 5′8″/173 cm) and being small-chested, but I also have a big butt that I get really frustrated about. Especially since I KNOW that if having a big butt weren’t considered feminine I probably wouldn’t be as self-conscious about it but as it is I don’t like it and it’s a lot harder to “bind” a butt than a chest.

4. I fucking wish! Unfortunately, my being a chronic patient of estrogen-positive cancer is something that I’ve read is a hard no against doing testosterone HRT — at one point I was holding out hope that I’d stay in remission long enough to get around it, but the fucker just came back a couple weeks ago so that idea is dead now. I probably am gonna get my ovaries out — which, along with knowing that estrogen is literal poison in my body, is kind of weirdly validating as a nonbinary AFAB butch — but I’m out of luck when it comes to introducing a new hormone into my body, barring a goddamn medical miracle. It really sucks because ideally I’d like to have a phallo-clit in the same way that some trans guys who’ve been on T do, and I also wish my voice were more androgynous. 

But I was actually thinking about my feelings regarding my voice today since a new episode of Caroline’s podcast that I’m on was released today, and I started to listen to it and thought, “God, my voice is annoying.” Mostly I feel that way since it starts to get really squeaky when I’m excited and that makes me sound distinctly non-butch. (Incidentally, when I think my voice sounds the butchest is when I’m feeling sarcastic or bitter, and that’s unfortunate.) But on the other hand, I appreciate that I have a relatively versatile voice. When properly warmed up, I have a three-octave singing voice and I can sing along in the same key and octave with most tenors. Also I can do a lot of silly, cartoonish things with my voice and I’d love to do voice acting of some sort at some point in my life. I don’t know if I’d lose any of that if I were able to go on T, but if I did I’d miss it. Also, I actually intentionally have tried to thicken my Midwestern accent because I feel like having a distinct regional accent as opposed to standard speech is a pretty butch thing, so I recommend it for other butches whose voices aren’t that deep. 8)

#inky pawprints #novembutch