#bc theyd been 'dropping obvious hints' like be a fucking adult okay say what you mean dont be passive aggressive

[dirt-grub]

lets please kill the idea that comfort around people needs to look a certain way 

#charlie talks #having a moment bc theres someone whos a friend of mine like not close but i see her in class #and like. she's pretty Normal. yknow #but she sure loves like. little physical means of showing affection #and god. can we just normalize always asking before you touch people #bc now i gotta like. say something. and when you say something it becomes a big deal #because again. she Normal. she doesnt realize WHY i dont like being touched. #and saying something either shows her 1) i dont like her (untrue) or 2) theres a Big Reason and man i dont want her knowing that! #i cant even mention the fact my parents have yelled at me without her getting nervous which like good on her i wish i could have a nice home #but yknow. good to have awareness that you dont always know what a person has been through etc etc #and i NEVER wanna be a 'shes not getting the hint' ass bitch because thats mean and dodges responsibility #and ive had too many autistic friends feel tortured and not understand why someone suddenly turned on them #bc theyd been 'dropping obvious hints' like be a fucking adult okay say what you mean dont be passive aggressive #but man. it would be cool if she noticed i always withdraw when she puts a hand out towards me #ill delete later i just got caught up in thinking how to best talk to her #bc i think she'll take hard for no reason yknow what i mean? she'll be like OH my GOD im SO SORRY i cant BELIEVE i did that im SOOO SORRY #when like. hm. feels bad #its just a small thing like hey its just how i am lets move on #and like the worst part is im inconsistent with who im okay with touching me. its not like EVERYONE #so it seems like im selective bc people i like better and whatnot but i fr cant tell you how it works #it takes a long ass time and my brain has to just. like it unlocks the feature #some people never unlock it and some people it stays unlocked even tho i really wouldnt want them touching me anymore yknow #whatever i shouldnt have to psychoanalyze myself about it! its my boundaries dammit! #dont rb #unless i change my mind