#but im ready to be honest now. i don't experience aesthetic attraction significantly enough to add to my label

[golisopod-mutual]

I took a (short) break away from labels bc I was driving myself nuts trying to identify and categorize my every feeling into neat little check boxes. So I stepped away and just gave myself some room to breathe, ig.

Anyway I'm identifying as just aroace now, not oriented/bi aroace.

#its kinda tough bc my bi label has been very comforting to me but its not accurate to my experiences anymore #so its time to move on. it was helpful while i needed it and thats what matters! #it was good i stepped away. gave me some perspective #i remembered a) aroace means little to no attraction. not exactly 0. so i dont have to change labels if #i do happen to have some attraction. and i dont have to agonize over 'oh was that middle school crush legit? does that mean im not aro?' #and i realized i dont experience aesthetic attraction like i thought I did #i misunderstood what it was/what it felt like and to my knowledge ive only experienced it once. #tbh i think i knew that but i didnt wanna let go of my bi label bc i found so much comfort in it #so i denied it. i held on to oriented as my label bc it let me keep using bi #regardless of accuracy #but im ready to be honest now. i don't experience aesthetic attraction significantly enough to add to my label #i also thought 'oh i wanna date and id date ppl of any gender. so bi' but i think now id actually prefer being in a qpr not dating #so. yeah. aroace who eventually would like a qpr #now that im thinkin abt it tho maybe ive experienced alterous attraction? #but just like aesthetic attraction ive only experienced it once. MAYBE twice. #so it doesn't seem significant enough to add alongside my aroace label #ig it comes down to bi/oriented is still technically applicable #but i prefer just aroace bc its broader/the attraction i do feel is not very significant or common #like. oriented is technically applicable to me. but ive felt aesthetic/alterous attraction 3 times at most?? #it doesn't seem like a big enough part of my aroace experience to label. im not gonna center my identity around smthg #that has happened 3 times in 22 years lol. those instances are just bizarre outliers