#clearly i'm a wordsmith and cannot express myself at all but!!

[dragonfire2lm]

Baldur's Gate 3 headcanon/AU thingy: Acespec Tav

So, I'm still figuring out what my Tav OC is going to look like, what class she is (all I know is that she's going to be a charisma character), but I had the beginnings of an idea and wanted to share it. So, let me know what you think.

It was another quiet night in camp and Tav was doing her rounds, checking in on her friends, making sure they were comfortable, listening to their troubles.

But she had noticed the odd looks Lae'zel had been giving her, and concerned that perhaps she had upset the gith in some way, she asked about it.

To hear Lae'zel's interest in her was certainly flattering, but unwanted, and Tav did the best she could to explain that she wasn't attracted to women, nor interested in sex.

It was Lae'zel's response that had Tav bristling like a cat. Whether it was the harshness in which the words were spoken, or the words themselves, Tav recoiled.

She was reminded that she was different, lacking in such a base, universal experience that Lae'zel's reply to being rejected, more than likely snapped out in defense of her own emotions, hurt. And it pained her more than she thought.

"I am not interested in anyone!" Tav snapped back. "I cannot grasp, cannot fathom the very idea of looking at others and wishing to bed them, and I suppose I should thank you, my friend, for reminding that I am lacking in such wants."

It was perhaps too harsh, she knew, but as the others in the camp heard the commotion and headed over, all Tav could feel was a sense of inadequacy, of guilt.

She was different, and that pained her more than anything when her friends could express such wants and desires so freely, When Lae'zel looked confused by the notion that Tav just didn't feel attracted to anyone. And similar looks of confusion flitted across the faces of the others.

There would be questions, maybe even an attempt to brush her off, that had certainly happened with others in the past before she had been abducted. Tav did not want to face such scrutiny, such disbelief from those she cared for.

So, she excused herself and left for the far edges of camp.

She didn't notice that Astarion was not looking at her in confusion, but rather like a puzzle piece had fallen into place. She scurried off into the bushes.

Scratch had followed, the dog had sensed her distress and cuddled up to her as she sat on a rock. She waited for not only her own hurt to ease, but for enough time to pass so that she could sneak back to her bedroll once everyone else was asleep.

Imagine her surprise when Astarion found her in her hiding spot sometime later. She watched him, wary, and a little bit afraid. Not because he was a vampire, but because her biggest secret had been outed to the whole camp, her difference, her defect.

It was the first words out of his mouth that stopped that fear in its tracks.

"I've seen that reaction before," he said. "I don't quite get it myself mind you, but I have seen it before."

"Have you now?" She replied as she waited for the other shoe to drop.

The vampire picked his way through the dense brush and sat beside her on the rock. He didn't look put out that she clearly didn't believe him. In fact the vampire was practically respectful about it.

"I've met people in the past, who don't find anyone attractive, and it's not because they dislike my most charming self," He explained with a gesture to himself. "It's just how they are, and some wanted to have sex, others just weren't interested at all. Personally I don't see why the idea seems to be so hard to believe."

"Well," Tav began and found herself struggling with words for once. A rare thing indeed for the group's wordsmith. She sighed. "I suppose the night can't get any worse...People seem to mistake my kindness, my sincerity for flirting a lot of the time, and i have yet to find someone who would be interested in romance without sex. Too often others take offense when I turn them down..."

"And Lae'zel's rather sharp retort struck a nerve?" Astarion guessed and she nodded. "You know she's not the only one who's interested in you right? She's just the most blunt about it."

"And yet more friendships turned to dust." Tav lamented. "Why did i ever think otherwise?"

And here Astarion looked surprised. "Whatever do you mean by that? Do you really think that...the others would just leave you on the roadside because you don't reciprocate their feelings?"

"Would not be the first time, I assure you," She replied. She did notice his hesitation when he mentioned the rest of the group. "I wouldn't blame you, or them, if that was the case."

"Look," Astarion began, he looked frustrated, whether with her, Lae'zel, or something else entirely she couldn't tell. "I can't speak for the others, but I know damn well I am not going to simply cut ties with you because of this."

"We need to work together to get to the bottom of the tadpoles in our heads, and the cult of The Absolute, I know." Tav replied.

"Well, yes," Astarion agreed. "But you are missing quite the important point in that I genuinely enjoy your company, dare I say I consider a friend in the short time we've been travelling together."

"Oh...I didn't want to assume, you'd been through a lot as is, and I wanted to make sure you had space." Tav replied. "while I hope I can call everyone here a friend, I didn't want to push the idea on anyone. Can't please everyone after all."

"You're not getting rid of me any time soon," Astarion smirked. A thought occurred to him and he looked at her curiously. "Though after tonight, I do wonder, are you interested in romance at all? People like you tend to separate sex and romance and I for one woudl like to know where you stand on the topic."

He held his hands up placatingly and added. "If you want to share such thoughts that is, I find such talks interesting, but I won't pry."

"I take it you find them interesting because of how it differs from your experiences?" Tav asked.

"And I find that it makes a lot of sense when you think about it," Astarion replied. "People can certainly have sex without the need for romantic attachments, so romance without sex is more than possible. And I do so love the look of bafflement on people's faces when I point that out."

He grinned. "People get so shocked, scandalized even, about the mere concept of someone courting another without sex being on the table. It's hilarious."

Tav cracked a smile at that. Maybe she could trust him with this. Maybe, just once, she could trust she wouldn't be seen as some immature, naive waif in need of being fixed or shown a good time.

"I like romance," she explained as she ran a hand through Scratch's fur, the dog keeping an eye and ear out while the two of them talked. "I think its a beautiful concept, a wonderful idea that shouldn't need sex to be a part of it, that shouldn't result in friendships being seen as lesser, that is just one kind of love, not the ultimate expression of it."

"And..." Tav continued. "Ultimately not for me it seems. As much as I would want it for myself, I've never met anyone willing to give what I want a chance...and with this tadpole I doubt I'll have the chance to do so."

Astarion listened patiently, she was surprised he was even hearing her out. Normally she would be the one lending an ear to him, to anyone at camp who needed someone to confide in, or simply someone to talk to who wouldn't judge.

She was even more surprised when he asked. "And what do you want?"

"You'll think me childish," she replied.

"Darling, I've seen you bleat at a redcap and found it funny, I don't care if you're childish," Astarion pointed out. "In fact, I encourage it, life is a bit dull if you never have fun."

"Well alright," Tav said. "I don't fall i love with someone's appearance, I don't look at people and want to be their partner. But I fall in love with who someone is as a person, how much I trust him, how well we get along. It's just another layer of feelings on top of a friendship already as strong as adamantine...That hasn't really happened in a long time."

"So no interest in women, looks like Lae'zel was barking up the wrong tree," Astarion commented. "And falling for someone's, shall we say inner beauty, instead of the initial draw to their outward appearance is uncommon, but not unheard of."

"But not the accepted standard." Tav said plainly.

"As someone who experiences the accepted standard, trust me, it's a lot more of a hassle than people think it is," Astarion replied. "Anyway, do continue."

"You're actually interested in my ramblings on romance?" Tav asked.

"I did say I find it interesting," Astarion said. "And I sort of told Lae'zel to go fuck a gnoll earlier and I'm hiding until she calms down."

"Oh gods, you didn't!"

"I'd never seen you so upset!" he admitted. "Mind flayers, hags, goblins...vampire spawn...I'm certain you could stare The Dead Three in the face and not so much as flinch...but one of our own expressing interest in you and then lashing out when you reject them caused you to recoil like that...Well...Like I said, I'd seen that reaction before."

"And you told her to fuck a gnoll..." Tav couldn't help but let out a small snort of laughter. "How are you not dead?"

"I said something about showing you the same courtesy you've shown all of us and here I am." He replied with a flourish.

"Well, I suppose I should indulge your curiosity as thanks for having my back," Tav awkwardly said. "I've never really had anyone be in my corner about this...So, right, romance...what do you want to know?"

"From the sounds of it you'd be interested in a romantic relationship, what do you want out of one if you were to say, get to know someone andthey confessed their love to you?" Astarion asked. "Hypothetically speaking of course."

Was he up to something? She couldn't tell.

"This stays between us right?" Tav asked hesitantly.

And here Astarion scoffed. "If you think I'm trying to get intel to pass on to the others, the answer is no, I'm not. This is our little secret."

"Good, I've already made enough of a fool of myself today," Tav replied. "i suppose if I did wind up in a romantic relationship, We'd talk things out, set boundaries, make sure neither of us feel forced to do anything they don't want, have everyone on the same page...then I'd probably by the person flowers."

"Flowers?"

"I know, normally the men buy the women flowers, but it's still a sweet gesture that I think should be reciprocated," Tav replied. "along with going to dinner, or lunch, or just going and doing an activity as a couple, having fun in much the same way one would with friends, but with the knowledge and intent that is romantic in context."

"And I suppose living together and having children in somewhere in that domestic little fantasy of yours too?" Astarion quipped.

"If only I were so lucky, but yes. I'd adopt," Tav admitted. "Even before the tadpole I was never healthy enough to risk carrying a child, and never really thought about children of my own, money has always been a bit too tight for that, but if I had the money, the time, the freedom to do that...I'd like to take in an older kid, ones who tend to be ignored in favour of the little ones, you know?"

"You've never really spoken about your life prior to being abducted," Astarion noted. "But...that makes a lot of sense from what you have shared about yourself....and you care an awful lot about making sure we have enough money."

"I wasn't poor, if that's what you mean," Tav said. "But not upper class either, always had to plan ahead with how much money to spend, never had the freedom to really go on a spending spree or indulge myself."

"Hm, I'll have to see about changing that..." Astarion said. "Maybe slip a few coins off some unsuspecting folks to lighten the burden?"

"And I'll talk our way out of trouble if you get caught," Tav replied.

"If I get caught."

"You needn't go through the trouble on my account." Tav insisted. "We make do, don't we?"

"And I happen to think you should have the chance to splurge a bit, buy yourself something nice," Astarion replied. "When we reach a larger city, I'll take you shopping."

"Really?"

"Yes, you, me, a small mountain of coin, and everything the world has to offer, what do you say?" He said and nudged her palyfully.

"Sounds like fun, if we can get the gold to afford it."

"You just leave that to me," He replied. "Do you think we can wander back to camp without a certain Gith trying to cut our heads off?"

"I'll talk her down, you might have to apologize..."

"Darling, you and I both know I won't mean it."

"Yes but, thank you for sticking up for me." Tav said. "Hopefully i can smooth things over with everyone once I figure out who else is interested in me..."

"Well, I could tell you," Astarion pointed out. "But I think I'll watch you figure it out for yourself."

"It's everyone, isn't it?"

"There's no harm in asking them, you know." He said. "After that little row with Lae'zel I doubt you'll have to deal with anyone reacting as harshly as she did."

No harm in asking?

And so, Tav asked The Pale Elf what he thought of her.

#baldur's gate 3 #Acespec Tav #demiromantic Tav #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav