#ever have polished was juri's. its kissing boys where she wanted juri instead but better to have juri's eyes on her than nothing

[fellhellion]

one of the most interesting dimensions to shiori and juri's relationship for me is the fact reciprocation isn't the point of tension between them. their feelings for one another aren't at ALL unrequited. the issue that plagues them beyond juri's arc about begining to unlearn her own self hatred, is the gaping maw that is shiori's lack of self worth <- the thing that drives her to hurt juri. in no world can shiori healthily reciprocate juri's feelings until she stops hating herself.

#god im so mentally ill about her GOD. #tunes talks utena #they make me crazy insane because it was ALWAYS requieted #shiori wouldnt feel such joy at seeing her picture in the locket or such panic when asking why the nebulous 'it' has to be this way #if it wasnt mutual. it IS mutual. but thats not the point of tension between them. its the fact shiori is scared that if they ever left the #purgatory of never touching the love between them. it would change - leave even. its the fact that she finally FINALLY can drag juri down #into the dirt with her. where shiori has never stopped chasing juri's shadow and feels so inferior to her. #its the fact that gay love isnt permissable within the system and shiori isnt willing to abandon that system for juri #its the fact she hates herself for this love and she hates herself for not being good enough and she loves the fact this feeling #offers her control over juri when shiori felt she was untouchable. its the fact shes always loved juri and the only foil she would #ever have polished was juri's. its kissing boys where she wanted juri instead but better to have juri's eyes on her than nothing #GOD she is mentally ill...my girl my beloved blorbo