#he really schmoozes with angels even tho he's not personally a fan because. idk maybe one of them can legitimize him and make him a person

[collectedbooks]

alright i’m going to sleep but consider: bastard ruler of purgatory, his name is pincer, he eats raw fish straight from the ocean and he invented the alligators in the sewer myth because he keeps reaching up through grates and dragging people down for the fun of it. thoughts?

#( ooc. ) DOLPHINS! #alright he's not a villain so much as he is just a straight up bastard idiot #but he's got (that guy from spongebob vc) BIG! MEATY! CLAWS! #he's not an angel or a demon he's just some fuckin golem that was one of god's early attempts at creating humans #he's kinda like a fucked up prometheus in that he provides the flame of revolution and rebellion #but since he's the only one doing his job he also has to counteract himself to keep the balance #so he also makes things get wildly out of control. like contract negotiations that end with throwing chairs #he's a little bit like war in that people get Fucking MAD around him but it's more of a rebellious anger than straight up bloodshed #if that makes any sense #he makes people wanna overthrow the government #sometimes he's like. a tempter of both angels AND demons because he just exists to be like 'hey don't you just wanna go absolutely feral' #but he's also who hell and heaven outsource their big historical rebellions to #and he lives in the sewers on earth when he's not chillin in his own personal limbo because. idk there's no people down there it's nice #he can submerge himself in shit like christopher walken in the river and it keeps him cool during the summer months. he doesn't care #he really schmoozes with angels even tho he's not personally a fan because. idk maybe one of them can legitimize him and make him a person #that'd be Pretty Cool. he's chill with demons because of their whole anti-god bit #which oh yeah. he is MAD at god. she gave him fuckin CLAWS and stuck him in a job where he is the literal only person there #he's not even a person he's literally made of fuckin clay. what the FUCK mom #he's like pinocchio he wants to be a real boy #also. LOVES crustaceans. WONDER WHY THAT IS #crustaceans and cats are his favorite things in the world #idk i'll think this through more when i wake up