#how's a bitch supposed to scheme when mr. amateur detective is in the corner playing 3D chess w/ her?

[dollypopup]

listen, i need Colin and Portia to be lifelong enemies in the funniest way possible. Penelope thinks the feud started when he informed Portia very clearly that whether she understands it or not, he's marrying her daughter, die mad at about it (and how she's wrong about Penelope and how wonderful he finds her) but Portia's *been* had beef with this boy since he ruined her 'get Marina married off' plans in season 1. Colin and Portia see one another in a hallway and it's on SIGHT

"Colin, how good to see you finally looking presentable for once." "Portia, what a lovely headpiece, it hides your horns so well."

#polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #portia featherington #bridgerton #yeah yeah i know portia would be so happy her daughter is marrying someone from a great family who has money but consider the following: #she hates colin anyway #colin becomes the permanent thorn in her side #how's a bitch supposed to scheme when mr. amateur detective is in the corner playing 3D chess w/ her? #colin starts off relatively blah about portia then hears how she talks to pen and just decides to torment her. for the bit #the number of times he's 'accidentally' handed her the salt instead of sugar at featherington family meetings ALONE #'whoopsie they're just in such similar looking bowls' #Colin one time looks Portia dead in the eyes and asks 'wait. . .but if you're here. . .who's guarding hades?' #and penelope snort laughs