#i lean more towards them not having consumated it either but idk the bathroom scene in the cafe...

[heartofwritiing]

I still love you.

Paring(s): Ethan Nestor x fem!reader

a/n: I was in a sad mood again so i got inspiration for this! yay! hope you like it! based on prompts 64. “we need to talk” from this prompt list. I tried to write an argument scene, also idk if I entirely love how this fic turned out. Also NO HATE to Mika I love and respect her and Ethan’s relationship 100% this is literally just for entertainment purposes and not meant to be taken seriously. 

Warning(s): Angst! (grab the tissues) unedited! 

I was planning on staying in tonight but it was Kathryn’s birthday party and I had to go. Amy and Mark insisted that I go to get out of the house and socialize. I knew Ethan would be there and I was dreading even thinking about seeing him. We broke up over a year ago and things didn’t go well. I thought everything was fine and clearly it wasn’t for a while, and I was just delusional. He said he met someone else and he didn’t love me like that anymore, so I left and we haven’t spoken since. Amy and Mark took me in and let me stay in their guest room for as long as I needed but, affording an apartment in southern California was hard and expensive on my own. 

While I was getting ready a gentle knock came at my door.

“It’s me, can I come in?” It was Amy on the other side. 

  I said yes and the door opened. Amy stood in the doorway dressed in a white romper, her makeup and hair were done very nicely to a casual look because she didn't need that much anyways she was pretty on her own. I was just finishing up brushing the knots out of my hair when she sat at the end of my bed. I knew she wanted to chat when she did this, Amy had always been a sister to me since we first met and it was nice to have someone there for me like she was. I started doing a little concealer to cover the dark circles under my eyes but part of me didn’t care about impressing anyone tonight. 

“you okay?” she asks. 

I sigh. I wasn’t sure what to tell her and I didn’t want to lie. She would know if I did kinda like a six sense, she would always know if I was lying or not. 

 “I’m fine,” I say. 

  That wasn’t the whole truth but, It’s been a year and I knew I had to face him at some point. We have the same friends and I didn’t want everyone to feel awkward around us anymore any time the other was mentioned. I’m just tired of everyone acting like everything is wired and wished it would go back to normal.

“You don’t have to go, I know it's been really hard for you and if you're uncomfortable with seeing him-” 

“I'll be fine Ames.” I reassure her. She sighed at my answer but didn’t push further into questioning. 

I finished adjusting my outfit and grabbed my shoes from the floor and pulled them on. We exited my room to see Mark already waiting for us at the front door. He held out both arms for us to take and I raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Shall we ladies?” 

We both giggled but accepted his arms.

“You’re a goof,” Amy laughs. 

-

  Arriving at Kathryn’s house it was a bit crowded with groups talking amongst themselves and some dancing in the living room where music played. Purple lights hung on the walls making the house glow and party streamers hung from the ceiling and some multi colored balloons floated in the conners of the house. It was a pretty chill looking party. The three of us quickly went to find the birthday girl and give hugs and presents. 

“Y/N! You made it!” Kathryn exclaims. She rushes over to me and pulls me into a warm embrace. 

“Of course Kath!” I smiled. “You know I only came for cake,” I wink.  

  She laughs and excuses herself to go greet more guests at the door. I noticed Tyler over by the snack table already chatting with Mark about something I walked over and he greeted me with a hug and he joked how he hasn’t seen me in years. I laughed and shoved his shoulder playfully before he continued his conversation with Mark. I never was into parties or gatherings and preferred hanging out with close friends. The only other person I knew there was Tyler; everyone else was either family or friends of Kath. So I felt like a wallflower for most of the night, which was fine by me since I didn’t like interacting with other people that much.  

About an hour into the party we were all chatting amongst ourselves until the doorbell rang again, and Kathryn went to answer it. When she opened the door I instantly knew who it was since I hadn’t seen him at all yet tonight. Ethan greeted Kathryn with a hug and handed her a medium sized gold box with ribbon tied at the top. She made a motion over to where all of us where standing before heading off the other direction to put the gift on the table.  

  He was here and my brain was panicking. 

My heart was hammering so much I was sure it would bust open my chest. I tried to turn away but I felt frozen and entranced by him. Him and his video game reference t-shirt and jeans. His styled hair, his smile that was contagious that always gave me butterflies. Mark noticed I was quiet for a while and looked over to see me staring at Ethan. He grabbed my hand and held it in his. I knew he was trying to comfort me and it helped. I looked up at him and smiled softly as thanks. He smiled back and continued his conversation with Tyler and I tried to not look in the direction Ethan was in. Instead, I turd to Amy and started talking about something random and she was at first confused then two figures came into my peripheral vision. 

  “Hey guys,” Ethan’s voice came to my ears and I turned to see him standing in front of us all with a girl. Her short green hair stood out and her demeanor seemed nervous. Everyone greeted him back with the same tone except for me but I didn’t think he noticed until his eyes shifted to me and the smile he sent me made me feel dizzy. I give him a very thin smile back. He frowns. 

  “I’m Mika,” the girl standing at his side says. 

Mika gives a small wave to the group. Mark is still holding my hand and I'm trying so hard not to start crying. 

Mark brings up a conversation about an upcoming show he's doing but I zone out. Amy comes to my side and puts a hand around my back. She must've noticed I was starting to get uncomfortable as she leans over into my ear.

“Do you wanna leave?” she whispers. 

I shake my head. 

“I just need the bathroom, be right back.” I say. She nods and gently pats me on the back. I let go of Mark's hand and walked towards the stairs. I've been to Kathryn's house many times so I knew where it was. I could feel everyone's eyes watching me as I walked away but I didn't care. I changed my route to the backdoor slider and pushed it open. I heard a faint call of my name but I ignored it, the chill of california night greeted me as I stepped out into the backyard trying to steady my breathing. 

“Y/N.” 

I froze at the voice. 

It was Ethan. 

“Listen, ” He says. 

At this point I was on the verge of tears but I shook them away and crossed my arms over my chest and turned to face him but I didn't make eye contact out of fear of breaking down. 

“What do you want to talk about?” I asked, shifting my feet. 

I could see him starting to move closer but I kept my eyes to the ground. 

 He inhaled a deep breath. 

“I'm sorry about the way things ended for us and I'm sorry I hurt you.” He said. 

“I wanted to be the very last person to ever hurt you.” 

“Well you failed,” I spit, looking up at him finally. 

His mouth parted, whatever he was going to say next vanished. in his eyes I could tell his mind was racing, searching for the right thing to say next. I clenched my hands at my side as he continued to speak. 

“I felt like shit after

” He says. 

“Then why did you still leave?!” My voice was rising. 

“Because, after what I said I couldn’t bring myself to face you.” 

“So what, you just decided to forget me completely and?” The last words coming out are bitter. 

His eyes narrowed and he took a step closer making me inhale. 

“If you’re referring to Mika, we only just started dating a few months ago.'' he seeths anger laced in his voice. 

“Why would I do that? You think I was happy to leave you?” 

I just shrugged and he scoffed. 

“Well, you were the one who said you didn't love me anymore.” My lip trembling as I thought back to that night he said those words, taking some of his possessions and driving away. 

We stood in silence for a minute before he walked even closer to me and I could hear his breathing. I didn’t see his eyes then he brought his hand up to my chin to tilt my head up to look at him. He smiled softly when our eyes connected then I started crying. 

“Don’t,” I quiver. 

“What?” he asks. 

“Don’t smile at me like everything is fine,” 

“You think I meant that?” 

I nodded. 

“I never stopped loving you.” He says and I gasp. 

 Before I could respond and say I felt the same he was leaning down and capturing my lips with his. I froze for a moment, my eyes going wide in surprise, then relaxed and let him consum me. His arms engulfed around my back to pull me closer so our chests were pressed together, I could feel my heart thumping loudly in my ears and my cheeks heated. The feeling of kissing him was one that I missed very greatly. Just the way he made me tremble with just a touch was proof my emotions regarding Ethan Nestor haven’t changed. Not even in the slightest. I reached my hands up into his hair instinctively, gripping his brown locks to bring him down deeper into me. His teeth came out to nip at my bottom lip causing me to let out a barely audible whine. Desire flooded through me like a wave and it was overwhelming how much I wanted him back so I could kiss him like this again. Over and over again until my lips were numb and swollen. 

A smack filled the air when we pulled away, our breathing was uneven and hot as it mixed due to the proximity of our faces. I was breathless and could barely form a word. Ethan moved away from me entirely and turned back to go inside. my heart sank and deep down I knew, that was a kiss goodbye. 

#ethan nestor x reader #crankgameplays #youtube imagine #youtuber imagines #crankgameplaysimagine #ethan nestor imagine