#i mean i'm gonna edge plenty tonight but i might even do another shorter hold sometime after dinner

[omo-queer]

i barely made it to the bathroom in time i was so close to losing it but i didn't want to make a mess

i swear though denial has broken my brain. like that should not have felt like as much of a release as it did. i wasn't even touching myself while i let it out but i think my brain has learned that the best it's going to get is letting go when my bladder is full.

the ruins have really been fucking with my brain's sense of "finishing" as well... they make everything worse, but my body still craves them like a moth drawn to the flame. every time i ruin it leaves me a mess, and then an hour later my brain has forgotten how brutal it felt and thinks "maybe it's time for another ruin." i think probably i'll cool it on the ruins in december, maybe have a fixed number so i can't just ruin on a regular basis like i have over the course of november (which has, if anything, made me more desperate and needy, so i don't really view it as something that interrupts denial. a ruin has less in common with an orgasm to my brain than it does with an edge.)

#omorashi #denial #bladder holding #bladder desperation #bladder torture #this doesn't mean i'm done for the night... we'll see #i mean i'm gonna edge plenty tonight but i might even do another shorter hold sometime after dinner