#i purposefully didn't change jobs for years on end bc i was scared i wouldn't fit the look

[arthursknight]

just. absolutely fucking had it with people indirectly (or, hell, even directly) saying that i am ugly recently. just a lot of offhand remarks about how i am not a certain "type" and comparing me to other people and just like. confirmation of shit that i really didn't need confirmed. tired of it! don't want it anymore thanks!

#a LOT of this or in fact all of this has to do with what was said to me about my weight at work #just a lot of fucking people being like. nah you could NEVER be a cocktail girl at x restaurant #even THIS PERSON couldn’t be one so you DEFINITELY don't have a chance #and like. oh yeah i can see why you don't fit THE LOOK #and when i am talking about these things i am specifically referring to the fact that i am not skinny #and yet whenever other people talk to me about this shit it feels like they're just outright saying #that i am not pretty #which like. i get it. i have never been pretty. #but i also have extremely crippling body dysmorphia that has caused severe damage #to both my physical and mental health not to mention my career #i purposefully didn't change jobs for years on end bc i was scared i wouldn't fit the look #and guess what! turns out i was right! #just. frustrating and upsetting and great all around lads. #cee.txt #dysmorphia blogging hours