#i think he keeps exotic animals. not in like a joe exotic tiger king 'I'm raising endangered mammals that could kill me in my bedroom' way

[hiding-under-the-willow]

Tossing and turning in bed plagued by visions (Ed Edgar headcanons that are definitely just me projecting my cowboy ass autistic interest in strange animals onto him bc he too is a strange southern man with autistic swag)

#atlas speaks #i think he keeps exotic animals. not in like a joe exotic tiger king 'I'm raising endangered mammals that could kill me in my bedroom' way #but like. he has a bunch of venomous snakes and weird spiders. his living room is just lined with shelves and shelves of terrariums #i think you see him interact with his strange and dangerous pets and it's like meeting a whole new person #he is so much less of an asshole the second he is looking at a weird bug #i think he would love camel spiders in particular. those fuckers are so weird he'd love it #and bold jumping spiders. bc they're native to where he grew up #you take him out hiking or some sblhit and he starts acting like that guy on tiktok who hunts for pythons in the florida everglades #he's picking up snakes with his bare hands like #'oh yeah this is a black racer! they're totally harmless but they've got a lot of personality ^-^' while it aggressively bites his arm #he tried showing Bim the David Bowie Huntsman once. he's like 'Bowie is a gay icon Bim'll love this' and quickly learns Bim is arachnophobic #he's waving around cane toads like 'oh my god guys look at the poison glands on this thing!!!' #i feel like he'd love eastern hognose snakes too he loves the silly fucking way they play dead #anyways what I'm saying is give him a educational nature show let him do some weird shit out in the wild it's his natural habitat #he's the types of guy to stand barefoot on the asphalt next to a diamondback to get it to cross the road so it doesn't get run over #I'm hoping releasing these thoughts into the world frees me from them so i can sleep lol can you tell #anyways he absolutely handles like black widows and brown recluse with his bare hands like a madman #he would love eel pit guy #anyways this is his one redeeming quality he is still the worst in every other way 👍