#i wasn't gonna post this but then i remembered that i told myself 2024 would be the year i stopped giving a crap

[licorishh]

Not to be shippy on main but why does everyone go in for tsundere fx and "nuisance to society" jy when their every interaction screams the opposite. Fx is logical and realistic enough to be more than well-acquainted with how she feels and is extremely devoted to her work (and subsequently the general) and on the opposite hand jy is incredibly selfless and caring towards her (literally the first time they met he told her he'd take the blame when she suggested they frickin commit a war crime in order to win the Abundance War). Like yeah teasy jy is amusing or whatever but realistically that wouldn't be in the droves y'all think it would and fx would probably laugh at it the few times it might happen more than she'd get all tsundere-y about it

She's not emotional. That's the difference. She doesn't have emotional outbursts. She's extremely calm and rational and she's dealt with jy for more than long enough to become extremely used to his antics and she wouldn't take them nearly so seriously.

They're PINERS. They're pining and it's obvious. They watch each other from across the room when they think the other isn't looking and they leave each other nice little notes at work because both of them overwork themselves and need breaks. I am COOKING here

#honkai star rail #jingfu #hsr jing yuan #hsr fu xuan #i am so wise for this #fu xuan is 100% a secret hopeless romantic and i will die on this hill #jing yuan is also the type to literally never shut up about it if they got married #he wouldn't go two seconds without “did i tell you that's my wife” #yukong resists the urge to put an arrow in his skull but she's nice about it #i also like the idea that while the two of them are eternally denying everything the entirety of the luofu is on pins and needles #every single person on that blasted ship is glaringly aware and they're just waiting at this point #when something inevitably happens everybody's frickin ecstatic because jeesh it only took y'all 30 literal years #i wasn't gonna post this but then i remembered that i told myself 2024 would be the year i stopped giving a crap #expect me to fly off the handle a little in this year of our Lord #shy i'm sorry in advance

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Hey, I usually don't do follow forevers because I feel like I'm always leaving people out.

But screw it, I'm unmedicated, here goes.

First of all, my beloved @wrestlezaynia. I don't know what or where I would be without you. You wanna talk about Zowens? Without you, there would be no me. Literally. I can't tell you how many times just the thought of you has gotten me through the darkest moments. I legit wouldn't be here now if it wasn't for you, so from the bottom of my heart, thank you and I love you.

Next. @mrwrestlingkevinsteen. My... God, I don't know what you even are at this point. You're just... so much for me. To me. If Zaynee is the Kevin Owens to my Sami Zayn, you are the Kevin STEEN. You just mean the friggin world to me and to think, I was afraid you wouldn't like me. I was afraid to talk to you or approach you and now look at me. I can't shut up around you. I love you forever, I'm giving you so many smooches, I'm just gonna hold you for awhile OK?

@himbos-hotline. In a perfect world, I would have adopted you by now. The way you always tag my posts brings the biggest smile to my face. I simply adore you and I want you to know that, for 2023, I'm wrapping my big squishy arms around you and holding you close and keeping you safe. Please, when you're having bad days, even if I'm not around, remember that I am rooting for you and I love you and that my life would be so much darker without you in it. *hugs*

@baysexuality. My Lexie. You have offered me so much support this year that I don't know what I would do if you hadn't. You know I've been going through ish lately and you don't judge me or berate me and I am so grateful for that. I love you so so so sooooo much and I hope 2023 is just the best year ever for you.

@adampage. I feel like you are the unsung bestie at times. I feel like I don't give you enough attention for how much I love you and I'm sorry for that. Because I do, you know? I do love you, LOTS. You always make me smile with your posts and your gifs and I hope you can have everything you want for 2023 because you deserve it. You're such a wonderful person and I want the best for you always.

@colesterstrudel. I love you. Love you love you love you. You make me squee with joy when I see you on my dash lusting after Michael Cole (justified, tbh), and Sports Laura brings me more joy than you could ever imagine. I love the way you are passionate about things and I hope that someday I can find that same passion for doing the things I want to do, rather than them just living inside my head spinning like a damn rotisserie chicken.

@low-x-battery. I know we don't talk much anymore but I want you to know that when we do talk it means the world to me. You have changed my life, even just recently. I'm doing better since the last time we chatted and I'm pretty sure it's because of you. Your words make me want to be better and take care of myself and I hope in 2023 I can give back even a little bit of the care you have inspired in me. Love you.

@the--blackdahlia. You are... amazing. You are so amazing and you don't even know it. Your fanworks are so inspiring to me. I dream of having the kind of drive you do and I've already told you how much your stuff means to me. I hope that 2023 treats you so much better because you don't deserve to have people being mean to you ever. You're just the bestest, sweetest, most incredible person and I love you forever.

@smashthegiantkiller. My favorite arms dealer. First of all, keep being gorgeous, OMG how are you so gorgeous, yes, good, keep doing that, GOOD! Second, you make me smile whenever I see you on here so if I can continue doing that, then 2023 is gonna be a great year. Never change and hope you have the best upcoming year ever!

@honoraryuce. I'm just starting to get to know you, but I hope that 2023 is our year baybay. I'm gonna give you so many hugs this year and then when new years 2024 comes, I'm smooching you right on the cheek. Actually, screw that, not waiting. *SMOOCH*

@imswitchbabemox. I'm so happy I've gotten to know you better. You're just amazing and one of these days I'm gonna get to binging on your fanfic. Your passion for your works and your stuff is so inspiring I wish I had your creativity and drive. Also, I love you. I feel like I don't tell you that enough, so, yeah. *hugs*

Shoutout to @jamie-55, @bakurapika, @randomnessoffiction, and @nierthesheepdestroyer. How you guys put up with my non-stop wrestling nonsense, I have no idea, but I love you forever for it. I am so grateful for it though and here's hoping for another year where you don't unfollow me.

And, while I'm sure I'm missing so many people, I'll end with the OG.

@aquilalorelei. We've been through a lot. Together and separately. You've had the shittiest 2022 that I think anyone on planet earth could possibly imagine. Somehow, you survived. That makes you so FUCKKING strong. I pray, wish, vibe, hope, whatever that the world is kinder to you this year. Please, universe. I'm begging. For both our sakes.

Anyway, if I have forgotten anyone, I'm so sorry. It's late and I'm sleepy. Please forgive. I really do love all of you.

Here's to a great 2023.

Happy New Year.

[skinnidreamss]

Fuck tumblr

I've been scrolling through this blog for the past 2 hours. I don't even know how to feel. I guess the word "nauseous" would come to mind first. Ana tumblr has taken my fucking childhood from me and I gave it away happily.

I was fucking warned and I didn't listen. I would do anything to be able to stop my 13 year old self from ever discovering this place. I wish I could tell her that she really wasn't that fat, but the adults around her were trying to live through her and feeding her lies about how "dangerous" her very much healthy BMI was. I was just chubby. I was just a kid. I trusted everyone around me because they were adults and they were supposed to know everything, but it turns out that they were even more clueless than me.

I guess maybe when I found out that ED Tumblr, a place that is literally based on toxicity shared a few of the beliefs that these people would tell me, I should've been a bit concerned. But I wasn't. And I just fell into this rabbit hole that I don't think I will ever get out of. The things you learn here follow you forever. I can be happy and having a good day, eating something and the part of my brain that developed under the influence of this hell will remind me of some idiotic quote I read in a pretty font at 14. "once on the lips, forever on the hips", or some shit like that. And just like that, my day is ruined.

The truth is, I haven't been on here for a full year. My last post is from february 3rd 2023. It's february 6th 2024 now. I've been trying to heal, sort of. About 6 months ago, I started losing weight in a healthy(?) way. I think. I can't even tell at this point. After all these years, it's impossible to think about weight loss without triggering some horrible memories and starting some old habits again. I've had some close calls, but I haven't relapsed. I haven't starved myself the way I used to in a year. It's getting better.

I logged in today thinking I might delete this account once and for all. I decided to scroll through it and to my horror, I realized that I have repressed a lot of memories about my eating disorder. I had forgotten very big parts of my life and what my diets used to look like. I don't even know how to react and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. It's stuff that was happening a year and a half ago. One of the things I regret a lot is not journaling throughout my teenage years. But this blog has a ton of journal entries that reminded me of stuff my brain tried to erase. Like, for example. MY FUCKING THERAPIST TOLD ME THAT IF I TRULY WANTED TO LOSE WEIGHT, I WOULD???? WHat the actual fuck??????? I remember being very hurt about that and thinking about it a lot for a while, before getting back on tumblr and finding some crazy diet to do, after a while of actually doing better. If I hadn't found the post I made about it at the time, I would've probably forgotten about it forever. And there's probably so much shit that I will never remember again. The crazy thing is that although I had pretty much forgotten all of the things I wrote on here, they still hurt me somehow.

I am just so fucking angry at everything and anyone. I hate tumblr and everything about ed tumblr. My brain feels rotten from all the shit I learned here. I am getting better, but I've been having a shitty day so I guess I needed someplace to rant. I am angry at the complete lack of attention that everyone in my life gave me when it came to my diet. I used to be scared that they would find out and try to stop me from starving myself. But I slowly realized that I could show as many signs of an unhealthy diet as I wanted. Nobody ever noticed, or if they did, they just didn't give a shit. I was doing stuff that if a skinnier girl did, it would've raised a million red flags to everyone. But because I was fat, I guess it was fine.

I'm not gonna get into any more of my trauma anymore because if I start, I might just never stop writing.

I'll be 19 in two months. Everyone else I know has discovered themselves, bettered themselves, found friends and even love. All I've discovered in the past 6 years is how to lose and gain back the same 10 kg over and over and over again in the most disgusting and painful ways.

But whatever.

Life goes on. I owe it to my younger self to get better. I truly believe it's possible to do this in a healthy way. I will keep trying to be better and hopefully the anger will fade away in time and I will finally be able to heal from all of this. Someday.

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Did you know about two years ago i saw King Harry at a local Burger King?

I heard him speak and noticed his accent and so I kept looking at him not feeling he was a Prince of any sort.

My soulmate was screaming "That's the King!!"

I told him "okay that's great but would you shut up? I'm trying to look at This guy. He seems familiar to me and I'm at Burger King, yeah i know. Now just please!"

So I'm looking him up and down and he loos me up and down, King Harry with amusement. And im like dude what you looking at me and laughing for? And I'm all this is a set up and hes figured me out before i figured him out. And i wonder if he's got amnesia, too...

He let's me order ahead of him although he was there first... Although i had went in first, I had gotten in line second after seating my kid as we had not been to that particular Burger King before.

Then I heard him going on and on about making sure the receipt was gotten for him. Because he had forgot and it was placed on the counter and he had people with him.

I was all surely that is not the Prince of Harry he would not care about a receipt!!

Then he tells his friend in a whisper "No you should call me King. Then no one would know who i am."

"You mean us"

I looked up to see King William laughing.

Whoa shit!! My mouth dropped open! It really was them! Or him!

William turned around and his mouth dropped open at the sight of me!

"First i want you to know this wasn't planned. Second i want you to tell me where you have been"

I didn't know who he was talking to so i looked away because i was like not planned my foot and you're not tricking me hostage negotiatiator! We're not gonna be your hostages! Not today!!

I heard stuttering and mumbling. "I was waiting in the car, you didn't answer your text. And i wanted to make sure the drink order was okay"

"How's your drink order ma'am?" Asked Harry

"Great!"

The entire time my daughter is laughing. Ever since she saw Williams jaw drop she was in a fit of giggles.

"We are just doing something incognito. It was nice to see you. Pleasant surprise! And it seems you have raised her right. I hope i do the same. But why have you recognized him but not me?"

"LET'S GO! IT MIGHT NOT BE HER!" William said through clenched teeth.

Which made me laugh because it was them!! Or very good actors!!

And Harry laughed and tried to get his brother to wait.

"He's aged. He's old. That is what i recognize" I barely gasped out between giggles.

So Harry repeated in a low murmer. So next thing I know William stomps back "what do you mean he's old?!?!"

"Not him you! Shit!! Oops I mean! No! No! I don't you got it right the First time!" Finally i could quit laughing and get myself together! Im sure i looked quite the Loon of Los Lunas!!

Behind me i could hear Harry taking pictures of my daughter who was just lit up.

"It IS! LOOK AT THEM! THEIR FACES! Its all her!!! You could tell can't you Harry!!!" William had the same amused satisfied look on his face that Harry had had in the line.

It was weird because Harry was in front of me with a black beanie and all black clothes and i had a feeling. And a memory of the burglar guys from Home Alone. And i started messing around in my head from that feeling because i felt very safe and comfortable to have my own presence.

And Harry spun around and grabbed his heart. His eyes wide with shock. Then kept turning his head to look at me. Gave up and then stood next to me.

I felt he was very tall. Almost too tall, i felt he had grown into a handsome young man. And i wondered why i thought those things. And it made me cautious. So i put my hand on my hip and spread my legs a bit like Wonder Woman and in my head said "And who are we to serve today sir?!"

My soulmate was all "you feel uncomfortable but you feel you should do like that?!?!"

"Uh huh."

That is when Harry's mouth dropped. But also colors whizzed by me. Colors of me in an outfit I had worn Before that only he found striking enough to remember.

And he spun around like Wonder Woman changing into her super self and said "there"

And i said "oh well what will you be having? She wants the chicken"

He laughed and barely squeezed out "burger and fries"

"Oh we are getting milkshakes, too. Coupon"

"Oh let me see? Are you done? May I?" And he clipped a coupon

"In the mail, the mailbox that is where i got them at my house"

"Oh you live nearby?"

"Down the road"

His face turned white and he grabbed a pen and wrote my name on his hand.

"Yeah but it's okay. There's nothing to it. Just be me"

And he doubled at the waist laughing.

"I'll admit some days it ain't easy but hey what else are ya gonna do? Cant die"

He had tried to steady himself but bust laughing again.

"Yeah I know you can't be me. I'll go first"

"Please do!!"

Later, as i left, the Police Department went in and asked for all copies of the security footage. And ordered something to eat while he waited.

...... ..... ....

Back in 2008 they had visited and I had kept explaining how I for each event we needed money and who had the funds.

Harry who i had not recognized yet although i had recognized his brother, because Harry had changed outfits and was walking about and had confused me as I was super busy interrupted, "excuse me if i may, but why do you keep saying you need money? You're like the richest person we know!!"

"Oh I'm so glad you asked would you like to see my bank account?!"

"No!"

So i showed him, we got like $2000 per month for my now ex husband's wages and my money from the VA to attend school.

And he turned white and he said "so so so someone stole from you?!?!?"

I didn't know i had money. I just knew people were offering to fund it. And would say "you got money for that" Saint Luches had caught on and would say "from me" as he played my accountant when Dan was busy.

Otherwise Dan would say "there's funding for that"

So it was quite the Bermuda Triangle of communication for me to understand that it was my own money we were using and it was my own money for businesses I owned and didn't know i owned.

And my face turned white.

And that is what seeded the desire two Kings to live as peasants.

Except Harry said he also wanted to do it alone. And so now it is his blessing to do so.

They would take breaks and leave their money as it was and go back to work and do what they needed to do for their country then they would return to where they were and be at the same amount of regular money they had at where they lived.

They would stay in the USA and use USD. They would stay in England even in their castles and use regular Euros and be on a budget under the Queen whom of course would bail them out.

I posted an article not to long ago about the Young Queens wearing mall priced jewellery along with their crowns.

And so while the world is in an uproar, they're doing what they have been all along. But this time a bit louder.

And William will take his turn at living singley with his family as a peasant eating 15 year old French fries from the back seat of their nearly broken down auto.

They have a series of different lifestyles to live.

Eventually they will have to hitchhike and stumble across luck in life.

When they do, they will be disguised and without their children. And to prove the world is safer.

Which we cannot bail them out. Unless it is subzero temperature and they are not near any buildings they can seek shelter at. Or extremely hot and they had not had water.

So in a sense how the brave Americans and other people from other lands will backpack across Europe, they will backpack across the world.

In my old age I am not that brave.

So while many think now "what if God were one of us" in a few years you will know to think "what if the King was Queen was hitchhiking back there?"

Alas. Do realize that people are kidnapped by picking up hitchhikers and they are not going to do so for until 2024. And of course they will have security that is nearby.

So please don't go picking up hitchhikers now! If you don't regularly.

I did in the past until I had my daughter and I can count on one finger how many times I've picked up a stranger on the road side since then. And the same for as many times as we hitchhiked ourselves.

I do help people in well lit and populated parking lots if I am not feeling ill.

I applaud Harry and William and their Queens for their adventures they have done in secret. And I look forward to the days we can see their adventures on TV.

May all the Good Gods and Goddesses and Trees bless both Harry and William, their children and their Queens.

My heart goes to Harry and his family on their new adventure they strike out alone!

My happiness still exist for them all!!!.

The number one cause of fights is about money... But I am sure they will still have that ability to find love... Despite that red hair temper stereotype that everyone fears!!! ;)